Just thought I'd throw an update here. It feels like ages ago since my last cycle even though it wasn't. In between then and now I have had a birthday which makes me 39. When thinking about fertility, your age makes you stressed. There just isn't any way around that. So I try not to dwell on it too much.
Originally I thought I would do my third cycle in September or October. Right now I feel October would be better for me. August has been a ridiculously busy month and I need to get back into a normal routine. I'm also considering some acupuncture. Not just for fertility stuff as I'm not particularly convinced it's helpful. But for stress. I am generally very stressed these days and I don't think that helps with making my body a fertile place. I am only going to have one more shot at this, so I need to feel I've done what I can. Obviously I should also lose some weight, but that's not particularly happening.
It looks like I will end up paying for my third cycle without parental help. It is what it is. I know I'm very lucky that my mother helped with the first two cycles. Still, it is a horribly expensive process.
I also spend a lot of time thinking about jobs and life after my PhD which is nearing its end (hence a lot of the stress). When I think about jobs and the future I find I fixate on where I can get good maternity cover. It's not that I have given up on meeting someone and having a partner, but I feel this tremendous time pressure. I just don't want to be that old and have a baby. So probably something I want to do in the next 2-3 years. Scary. Getting eggs is one thing. Thinking about babies is something else entirely.
Anyway. I need to make a follow up appointment with my clinic and order the next round of drugs. Obviously I'm going for Healthcare at Home!! I also want to see if I can get to see the clinic psychologist to talk through my stress and baby thoughts. After all, it's included in my cycle costs.
In the meantime, I am just enjoying my time off from the cycle.
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