So I just got back from my first scan after starting the stimulation. As per last cycle, my follicles are slow starters. The doctor measured 7. He also measured my cyst, which does not appear to be growing. I was a bit disappointed by 7 and thought that was less than the last cycle. He checked and said at the first scan in the first cycle, he had noted 8. So yeah, one less so far. He didn't seem worried though and said that I just seem to have slow starters and it's too early to be able to tell anything yet. He's keeping me on the same drug protocol as last time. So I guess that means I'm definitely in for a long stimulation cycle. And I'm preparing myself for a low number collection.
I think what's hard about the medication is how quickly I can get upset. I honestly don't notice any other side effects of the stimulation drugs. But when something happens that could possibly be upsetting, I feel like it's devastating. That could also be because this process is stressful in general. Obviously what anyone who is doing this wants is the most mature eggs as possible. It's frustrating to know you can't really do anything about it. What the scan shows is what your body has.
I keep reminding myself that if I had two ovaries, these would be really good results for someone who is almost 39. In fact, if I was getting twice the number, I would be pleased. So it's not really my body at fault. I'm simply asking or wanting too much from it. I'm being unrealistic. I've come across women with two ovaries who have gotten the same number of eggs from their cycles. I shouldn't be upset.
I guess it's not that I'm upset. I'm just disappointed. But then I remind myself, that the very best thing I can be doing right now to address this, is exactly what I'm doing right now. And that makes me feel a little bit better.