This blog documents my personal journey with egg freezing. I had 3 cycles while I was 38-39 in 2013. I have one ovary and live in the UK. Please feel free to ask questions or leave comments.
15 February 2013
Day 6 - Scan, Freak Out
Just back from my second scan and I'm feeling very negative today and
worried. Not about the follicles- there were a good number of those
growing along. But no, more about the dermoid cyst that has reappeared
and was clearly visible on the scan. In part I'm upset because on my
previous 2 scans, neither doctor saw the dermoid cyst. So maybe I was
just sort of hoping it was gone or some sort of mistake. But it was clearly there today, a
white mass on the ultrasound in contrast to the nice little black
A dermoid cyst is how I lost my first ovary.
Now on the plus side, the doctor measured it and said it was about
14mmx18mm (less than 1"x1") and I know from having it scanned every year
it's around 14mm. So that means it hasn't grown. But still it's just
upset me tremendously to see it there, or, to rather 'suddenly' see it
there. And of course I'm getting worried about what taking hormones
might be doing to it, or what will happen if it grows.
So today I feel rather bummed out and depressed. And because it's Friday, I don't see the doctor again until Monday.
He was really not worried at all about it, and when I expressed my concern, told me I shouldn't be. My IVF experienced friend said that he's given me the answer. Either I trust him and continue or I stop. I trust him. But I don't trust enough to be comfortable with the situation- not because I don't trust the doctor, but probably more because I don't trust my own body.
It's my only and last ovary you know? Ugh. Just ugh. Emotional due
to emotions or emotional due to drugs? Don't know. Just... not very
happy today. (Although before all that happened, I was happily counting over 7
nicely forming follicles and being happy about that, but I can't get in
touch with those feelings just now.)
In other news, staying on the Gonal-F at 225 with the Cetrotide. Next scan Monday afternoon. Expected collection Thursday or Friday next week. I really want to try to be staying happy and positive. Not worrying that I'm doing something that is going to lose me my only remaining ovary.
It's times like this when it just sort of sucks to be on your own.