Had my last scan of this cycle this morning. Retrieval is scheduled for Tuesday. This means I'll be taking my trigger shot Sunday night which will be day 14. This is identical to my last cycle, and one day ahead of my first cycle.
This morning I woke up with a horrible lower back pain on the side of my ovary. I'm sure the enlarged ovary isn't helping any because I also feel pretty bloated in the stomach now, but the truth is, I get my fair share of lower back pain so I wasn't overly alarmed. I was annoyed though because what I usually do when I have this pain is some yoga stretching which is mostly spinal twisting. Given that twisting is a big no-no with an enlarged ovary, I've been suffering back pain all day now. It's not very nice. And of course I can't take any pain killers either. Ugh.
Saw the director of the clinic again this time as my normal doctor was fully booked. I've seen him once already this cycle so I didn't mind too much, although I would probably prefer to see the same doctor throughout. He had a good look and measure of the follicles and the ovary (I think because I also mentioned the back pain). Apparently everything is growing at pretty much an identical pace to the previous cycles so I suppose it's good that I'm reasonably reliable.
He counted six good sized follicles with a couple more behind, so that was good. I was watching the scan as he looked and it was difficult to tell sometimes where one started and another stopped. When they are side by side it's easy, but when they're on top of each other it's not as clear. At any rate, it looks like I have a bit more follicles than last cycle, although obviously they may not all contain eggs. I also have three more days of stimulating. So hopefully it will all go as previous and I get a reasonable number of eggs.
So having the retrieval day, my next order of business was to find someone to collect me from the clinic. I still think this is one of the more demoralizing aspects to egg freezing. My collection is on a Tuesday morning. So I have to ask someone to take off work to meet me. I don't have a partner where it would sort of be their obligation. It's not always easy. I've was pretty lucky the first two cycles but this one wasn't so easy. I had to call and email a few people before I finally found someone who could do it. I had talked to the receptionist about if I really couldn't find anyone and I did have a back-up plan to take a taxi home. It would have worked out either way, but I guess what I'm saying is, it's not nice to feel alone in the midst of this. It's just one more thing you don't really need.
Anyway, it's sorted.
And I'm probably particularly feeling grumpy because of the hormones. I can tell that I'm definitely grumpy!
I have enough drugs to see me through so that was all good. I'll end up with one 225 dose of Gonal-F left in the pen but that means I completely saved money by buying the drugs externally. The only thing I had to get from the clinic was the Voltarol suppository, but they give me that for free, so not a problem. Only four more days of injections left! I'm actually pretty excited that this is almost over!
In other news mulling over in my head, over on the eggsurance forum there has been a woman posting about how she tried to use her frozen eggs. I'm not sure of all the details, but it seems like she had 9 frozen eggs in total, it resulted in two embryos, both of which she implanted, but both of which were miscarried recently. That was a bit depressing to hear. I know there are a lot of factors that go into all of this and you can't really compare yourself to one person on a forum, but I'm just conscious that I'm not going to end up with that much many more eggs than she had. I guess it's important to remember that none of this is any sort of guarantee.
It's not worth thinking about it too much. I feel bad for the woman. There are other options, and I hope she feels satisfied that she did what she could, but it's definitely a blow.
Anyway.
Unless something remarkable happens between now and retrieval, I'll next write to say how it all went. I have an acupuncture appointment on Saturday which I'm oddly looking forward to. You'd think I'd be fed up with needles by now!!
Showing posts with label acupuncture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label acupuncture. Show all posts
24 October 2013
13 October 2013
Cycle 3: Day 0
My period has arrived this morning so tomorrow will be my first shot of my third and last cycle. I don't know if it's due to the acupuncture or the natural fluctuations of life, but my period seems heavier and a brighter red. I swear I've never had much interest in the qualities of my period. Getting all involved in your fertility does strange things to you!
I had a doctor's appointment on Friday for my pre-cycle scan. Everything looks okay. There were 7 good follicles on my ovary. My cyst looks to be about the same size. I asked if the seven we were looking at were what we had to work with for this cycle. The doctors said that some of them will go away, but some smaller ones will emerge and it's a good start. I think it's similar to the past two cycles, so that's okay.
So tomorrow I'm on 300 Gonal-F and on day 4 I add the Cetrotide. I'm also going to schedule my next scan for day 4 so that's Thursday. As we are changing the drug dose this cycle, it may need to be more closely monitored. The doctor said he might reduce it ond ay 4 or might keep it the same, so we'll see what happens.
I also paid for this cycle which really hurt the bank balance but it is what it is. When I was paying, I again flagged the issue of the 'follow-up appointment' charge, as I've now been charged twice for it. This time, she went to speak to the clinic director who said that it is definitely not included. So I told her that I thought this was really unreasonable. She said the only time they do a 'free' appointment is in the case of a failed IVF cycle. But I argued that in that case, firstly, the couple comes in one more time after the retrieval so gets to speak to the doctor, and isn't all drugged up and also secondly, as I knew I was going to do at least two cycles, it was fairly obvious that there was a mandatory 'in between appointment' and it was shit to be charged for it. She said she would raise it at the next internal meeting, in the meantime however, I'm out the extra money. I mean fine, in the grand scheme of things it's a small proportion of the money, but I'd rather they bump the overall fee by 100 pounds and then include it then dump it on you like that. It's annoying. And what you don't want to be, in an emotional and hormonally charged process, is annoyed by things that seem really stupid.
I also learned that my clinic has been bought by/has joined a larger network of IVF clinics in the UK. I'm not sure it makes any sort of difference as it seems more of a higher level management issue and each clinic seems to be independently run. But I suppose it can't be a bad thing in the long run, particularly if in a couple years time I'm not in London but somewhere else in the UK, it might be easier to use a local related clinic then go back down to London but that's a long way away to be thinking about. I suppose although it's interesting, it really doesn't seem to impact me at all.
The other thing I'm looking forward to now that this cycle is starting is getting my fridge space back! This is more for my non-UK/European visitors but having had my drug delivery a couple of weeks ago, it's put a serious limit on my fridge space! I have a flatmate, and she gets the bottom half of the fridge, so as you can see from the picture, space has been a little tight!
Anyway, that's all the news from here. I'll keep things updated as this cycle goes.
I had a doctor's appointment on Friday for my pre-cycle scan. Everything looks okay. There were 7 good follicles on my ovary. My cyst looks to be about the same size. I asked if the seven we were looking at were what we had to work with for this cycle. The doctors said that some of them will go away, but some smaller ones will emerge and it's a good start. I think it's similar to the past two cycles, so that's okay.
So tomorrow I'm on 300 Gonal-F and on day 4 I add the Cetrotide. I'm also going to schedule my next scan for day 4 so that's Thursday. As we are changing the drug dose this cycle, it may need to be more closely monitored. The doctor said he might reduce it ond ay 4 or might keep it the same, so we'll see what happens.
I also paid for this cycle which really hurt the bank balance but it is what it is. When I was paying, I again flagged the issue of the 'follow-up appointment' charge, as I've now been charged twice for it. This time, she went to speak to the clinic director who said that it is definitely not included. So I told her that I thought this was really unreasonable. She said the only time they do a 'free' appointment is in the case of a failed IVF cycle. But I argued that in that case, firstly, the couple comes in one more time after the retrieval so gets to speak to the doctor, and isn't all drugged up and also secondly, as I knew I was going to do at least two cycles, it was fairly obvious that there was a mandatory 'in between appointment' and it was shit to be charged for it. She said she would raise it at the next internal meeting, in the meantime however, I'm out the extra money. I mean fine, in the grand scheme of things it's a small proportion of the money, but I'd rather they bump the overall fee by 100 pounds and then include it then dump it on you like that. It's annoying. And what you don't want to be, in an emotional and hormonally charged process, is annoyed by things that seem really stupid.
I also learned that my clinic has been bought by/has joined a larger network of IVF clinics in the UK. I'm not sure it makes any sort of difference as it seems more of a higher level management issue and each clinic seems to be independently run. But I suppose it can't be a bad thing in the long run, particularly if in a couple years time I'm not in London but somewhere else in the UK, it might be easier to use a local related clinic then go back down to London but that's a long way away to be thinking about. I suppose although it's interesting, it really doesn't seem to impact me at all.
The other thing I'm looking forward to now that this cycle is starting is getting my fridge space back! This is more for my non-UK/European visitors but having had my drug delivery a couple of weeks ago, it's put a serious limit on my fridge space! I have a flatmate, and she gets the bottom half of the fridge, so as you can see from the picture, space has been a little tight!
Anyway, that's all the news from here. I'll keep things updated as this cycle goes.
16 September 2013
Meeting with the Doctor
Today I had both my follow up meeting from my last cycle and preparation meeting for my next cycle with my doctor. Again, I got charged for this visit and I plan to call them later this week to hammer out what the deal is with getting charged for this appointment. Last time they said they charged me because I had a scan, but I didn't have a scan this visit. I should have argued when I was there but I wasn't in the right mindframe to do it. I've been incredibly stressed all day and I just couldn't deal with it. Probably a mistake. Whatever.
Anyway.
Here are the things we talked about in no discernible order.
Probably one of the most important is we discussed my results from the last cycle (4 eggs) compared to the first cycle (6 eggs). Of course this disappoints me somewhat, but then if I had 2 ovaries I would have 20 eggs total instead of 10 (lets say) and I'd be perfectly happy with that. So I don't feel like I can be that upset about it. I stressed this was my last possible cycle due to financial considerations. So the doctor said that as it was my last cycle he felt we could try to push the ovary a bit more and he's going to increase my Gonal-F and see how it goes. In both of my cycles there had been additional smaller follicles that didn't catch up or grow as fast and I guess he's hoping to catch them by upping the drugs. As with most of this process, I have to trust that he is basing this decision on his experience and expertise and I trust him. I'm conscious of having read other women who didn't respond well to higher drug doses, but I trust that my clinic scans me every other day, and will monitor me closely and he wouldn't suggest this if he didn't think it was a good plan. It's hard to feel like I'm gambling with my last cycle, but on the other hand, I've read about a lot of women on the higher dose of Gonal-F, so it's not like it's that odd or extreme. I'm sure it will be okay. I'll obviously keep track here of how everything goes.
In keeping with that, I got my prescription for all the drugs so I need to get in touch with Healthcare at Home to send it in and arrange the delivery. I'm going to remember to insist that they include the sharps bin this time!
We arranged my norethisterone prior to the cycle. As my cycle is about 30-31 days, I'm going to do 9 days of the norethisterone. For the first cycle I did 8, the second I did 7. So this is another change although one I'm more on board with. The nurse had suggested I do 9 for my second cycle but the drugs didn't arrive in time so I could only do the 7.
We talked about birth control pills. Specifically about whether or not I could go back on them after the third cycle and if there were any implications for future fertility. He said there is no indication that birth control pills affect ability to conceive and that I should be fine going back on and he had no reservations. So that was good news. I miss my birth control pills!
We talked about my period. Okay, skip over this if you don't want specifics. Basically I've noticed that as I've gotten older, my period is much darker, and lighter, and a bit shorter. Of course as I go through all of this I just panic that this somehow means my womb is an infertile place and I can't conceive. He said the color of your period means absolutely nothing. He also said that the frequency of your period and heaviness have more to do with your ovarian reserve than your ability to get pregnant. He pointed out that there are women close to 50 who get pregnant- they have no eggs left, but their womb can still healthily function. Obviously I am not planning on being 50 and pregnant, but this was comforting news.
We also talked about the counseling service that is available. I sort of wish I'd picked up on this sooner. They have to counselors who have an office space and I just need to call and arrange an appointment and they will often schedule alongside your scan if the timing works out. Although I might start this sooner seeing as how once my scans start there isn't much time left for any counseling. At any rate, it will probably take time to arrange it anyway. So I'm going to do that and will also have updates here.
So really, that was all great, other than being charged 120 quid for the visit. This irritates me to no end, but my comfort and trust in the clinic outweighs my annoyance.
The only other thing of interest is that they are doing some building works to the clinic and so I'm lucky I didn't try to schedule for this month as I don't think they would have done it. They're moving around some of the lab and clinical spaces on the ground floor although the doctors offices and scan rooms on the first floor aren't affected. The building works are supposed to finish right when my next cycle starts, so that allows an extra week and a bit for them to run over before it's a problem. I am just going to assume it's not going to be a problem.
Anyway, that's the update. One month countdown to the third and final cycle begins!
Anyway.
Here are the things we talked about in no discernible order.
Probably one of the most important is we discussed my results from the last cycle (4 eggs) compared to the first cycle (6 eggs). Of course this disappoints me somewhat, but then if I had 2 ovaries I would have 20 eggs total instead of 10 (lets say) and I'd be perfectly happy with that. So I don't feel like I can be that upset about it. I stressed this was my last possible cycle due to financial considerations. So the doctor said that as it was my last cycle he felt we could try to push the ovary a bit more and he's going to increase my Gonal-F and see how it goes. In both of my cycles there had been additional smaller follicles that didn't catch up or grow as fast and I guess he's hoping to catch them by upping the drugs. As with most of this process, I have to trust that he is basing this decision on his experience and expertise and I trust him. I'm conscious of having read other women who didn't respond well to higher drug doses, but I trust that my clinic scans me every other day, and will monitor me closely and he wouldn't suggest this if he didn't think it was a good plan. It's hard to feel like I'm gambling with my last cycle, but on the other hand, I've read about a lot of women on the higher dose of Gonal-F, so it's not like it's that odd or extreme. I'm sure it will be okay. I'll obviously keep track here of how everything goes.
In keeping with that, I got my prescription for all the drugs so I need to get in touch with Healthcare at Home to send it in and arrange the delivery. I'm going to remember to insist that they include the sharps bin this time!
We arranged my norethisterone prior to the cycle. As my cycle is about 30-31 days, I'm going to do 9 days of the norethisterone. For the first cycle I did 8, the second I did 7. So this is another change although one I'm more on board with. The nurse had suggested I do 9 for my second cycle but the drugs didn't arrive in time so I could only do the 7.
We talked about birth control pills. Specifically about whether or not I could go back on them after the third cycle and if there were any implications for future fertility. He said there is no indication that birth control pills affect ability to conceive and that I should be fine going back on and he had no reservations. So that was good news. I miss my birth control pills!
We talked about my period. Okay, skip over this if you don't want specifics. Basically I've noticed that as I've gotten older, my period is much darker, and lighter, and a bit shorter. Of course as I go through all of this I just panic that this somehow means my womb is an infertile place and I can't conceive. He said the color of your period means absolutely nothing. He also said that the frequency of your period and heaviness have more to do with your ovarian reserve than your ability to get pregnant. He pointed out that there are women close to 50 who get pregnant- they have no eggs left, but their womb can still healthily function. Obviously I am not planning on being 50 and pregnant, but this was comforting news.
We also talked about the counseling service that is available. I sort of wish I'd picked up on this sooner. They have to counselors who have an office space and I just need to call and arrange an appointment and they will often schedule alongside your scan if the timing works out. Although I might start this sooner seeing as how once my scans start there isn't much time left for any counseling. At any rate, it will probably take time to arrange it anyway. So I'm going to do that and will also have updates here.
So really, that was all great, other than being charged 120 quid for the visit. This irritates me to no end, but my comfort and trust in the clinic outweighs my annoyance.
The only other thing of interest is that they are doing some building works to the clinic and so I'm lucky I didn't try to schedule for this month as I don't think they would have done it. They're moving around some of the lab and clinical spaces on the ground floor although the doctors offices and scan rooms on the first floor aren't affected. The building works are supposed to finish right when my next cycle starts, so that allows an extra week and a bit for them to run over before it's a problem. I am just going to assume it's not going to be a problem.
Anyway, that's the update. One month countdown to the third and final cycle begins!
27 August 2013
The Inbetween
Just thought I'd throw an update here. It feels like ages ago since my last cycle even though it wasn't. In between then and now I have had a birthday which makes me 39. When thinking about fertility, your age makes you stressed. There just isn't any way around that. So I try not to dwell on it too much.
Originally I thought I would do my third cycle in September or October. Right now I feel October would be better for me. August has been a ridiculously busy month and I need to get back into a normal routine. I'm also considering some acupuncture. Not just for fertility stuff as I'm not particularly convinced it's helpful. But for stress. I am generally very stressed these days and I don't think that helps with making my body a fertile place. I am only going to have one more shot at this, so I need to feel I've done what I can. Obviously I should also lose some weight, but that's not particularly happening.
It looks like I will end up paying for my third cycle without parental help. It is what it is. I know I'm very lucky that my mother helped with the first two cycles. Still, it is a horribly expensive process.
I also spend a lot of time thinking about jobs and life after my PhD which is nearing its end (hence a lot of the stress). When I think about jobs and the future I find I fixate on where I can get good maternity cover. It's not that I have given up on meeting someone and having a partner, but I feel this tremendous time pressure. I just don't want to be that old and have a baby. So probably something I want to do in the next 2-3 years. Scary. Getting eggs is one thing. Thinking about babies is something else entirely.
Anyway. I need to make a follow up appointment with my clinic and order the next round of drugs. Obviously I'm going for Healthcare at Home!! I also want to see if I can get to see the clinic psychologist to talk through my stress and baby thoughts. After all, it's included in my cycle costs.
In the meantime, I am just enjoying my time off from the cycle.
Originally I thought I would do my third cycle in September or October. Right now I feel October would be better for me. August has been a ridiculously busy month and I need to get back into a normal routine. I'm also considering some acupuncture. Not just for fertility stuff as I'm not particularly convinced it's helpful. But for stress. I am generally very stressed these days and I don't think that helps with making my body a fertile place. I am only going to have one more shot at this, so I need to feel I've done what I can. Obviously I should also lose some weight, but that's not particularly happening.
It looks like I will end up paying for my third cycle without parental help. It is what it is. I know I'm very lucky that my mother helped with the first two cycles. Still, it is a horribly expensive process.
I also spend a lot of time thinking about jobs and life after my PhD which is nearing its end (hence a lot of the stress). When I think about jobs and the future I find I fixate on where I can get good maternity cover. It's not that I have given up on meeting someone and having a partner, but I feel this tremendous time pressure. I just don't want to be that old and have a baby. So probably something I want to do in the next 2-3 years. Scary. Getting eggs is one thing. Thinking about babies is something else entirely.
Anyway. I need to make a follow up appointment with my clinic and order the next round of drugs. Obviously I'm going for Healthcare at Home!! I also want to see if I can get to see the clinic psychologist to talk through my stress and baby thoughts. After all, it's included in my cycle costs.
In the meantime, I am just enjoying my time off from the cycle.
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