I said I would talk more about my last appointment and now (that I'm procrastinating from writing my thesis) is the time. I met with the doctor who did my last retrieval about 2 weeks afterwards. I was still disappointed, but recovering very well (the fewer eggs, the easier the recovery I think). I had questions. I also think I felt a bit lost. This has been a very emotional process. Not difficult necessarily, but certainly emotional. I put a lot of effort in the past year and a half to thinking about children and my future, I do all of this and then.... it all gets put on hold. Although I continued to date this past year and a half, I didn't meet anyone special. I'm finishing up a PhD which means my job status is uncertain for at least 6 months. I've been finding it just as hard to 'let go' of all the thoughts this brought up as it was to have them in the first place.
So, the first question, would going back on birth control damage my fertility, and if not, how soon could I go back on it? I had my post-retrieval period and the doctor suggested it would be no problem at all to go back on birth control on the next natural period after. So in a couple weeks, I'm back on the pill. There shouldn't be any negative side effect to my fertility for being on the pill, so that's fine.
In the future, if I want to get pregnant, the doctor suggested I still try naturally or 'less invasive' methods before using my frozen eggs, particularly if I want to try within the next three years. My fertility wasn't that bad, and it could be I still could get pregnant naturally, so she said I should try that first. Depending on my fertility numbers at the time, she also suggested I might want to try fresh IVF in the future and reserve the frozen eggs as the last resort. She stressed that as a woman who doesn't know if she has fertility problems, I shouldn't compare myself to those who seek IVF because they already know. She said I should try less invasive options first because I may not have fertility issues. Of course, I'm conscious that my age works against me in this, but I understand what she's saying. In fact two very good friends of mine who are my age now (39) both are pregnant naturally. These things do happen. I think being immersed in the infertility world can skew your perspective.
The clinic I used to freeze my eggs can help with sperm donation or with a future partner, or a known donor. If I want to go down the sperm donor or known donor path in the future there are tests and counseling and paperwork to take care of and the clinic can help with all of that.
To be honest, that was pretty much it. While she agreed that no frozen eggs was any sort of guarantee, she stressed to me that I don't know the quality of my frozen eggs. That all it takes is the one.
And that was pretty much it with the doctor.
I then had a counseling appointment with the counselor I saw previously. We talked about how I felt regarding 'putting everything to sleep' for now. I talked about how I felt a sort of loss- like, you do all of this thinking about becoming a mother, and then there is no motherhood or even attempts at motherhood immediately following this process. We talked about how that's hard. About how when you start to open yourself, honesty and truly, to the idea of becoming a mother, and you decide that it's something you want, that it changes you. That not becoming a mother, either just for now, or forever, is a sort of loss. I talked about how I have thought about becoming a 'single mother by choice' and that I'm not convinced that I'll meet anyone with which to start a family in the next year or two (that I want to start a family with). I talked about how I feel old, that many of my friends have children or are pregnant and that I feel somehow 'behind'. She pointed out to me that you shouldn't have a child just because everyone else is doing it. Which wasn't what I meant, but I think is important to reiterate. It's more the frustration of seeing other people have what you want. And when I feel 'behind' I guess what I'm really saying is that I feel deficient.
But anyway, that's more of a personal issue to address, and it's not solely related to motherhood, but I would suggest relationships in general. The counselor did challenge me to consider why I was putting a 2-year framework in place. That if I want to become a mother, why should I wait that long? She had a point. My main issue is that I want to be in a financially secure place, and mostly that I want a job where I will get good maternity coverage. This means finishing the PhD and getting a permanent position. If I stay in academia, a lot of jobs are contract and not permanent and this is a problem. Not impossible, just something I feel I want to have sorted before undertaking what I imagine will be single parenthood. But, if I get that job next year, then I suppose it's true- why should I wait? I guess part of it is also an imagined time limit window on how long I'm willing to keep looking for 'the guy'. That by deciding to just move forward, it's like saying I'm giving up on that. I think this is something I need to continue to think about. If I get the job, then maybe I should just move forward. Watch this space.
And yes, speaking of which, so what does this mean for the blog now that I'm done for the time being? Right now there are a lot of women considering, and undertaking, egg freezing. But what about the future? I imagine this blog is going to go to sleep for a while, but I will use it to post anything I come across that I think is relevant, add to the links on the right hand side, and I am happy to answer questions if anyone has them. But I think when the time comes for me to use the eggs, I will come back here and update. That may mean linking to a new blog, but I hope to eventually be able to post about how this story continues.
Otherwise... if you've come here to find information on egg freezing, I hope you find this blog helpful. I encourage you to talk to other people, make use of the resources that are available to you. I wish you the best in what can be a difficult and emotional process. I think a lot of women come to this position, because they feel alone. I suppose in one way, we are, but then, we aren't at all. Good luck on your path.
Showing posts with label periods. Show all posts
Showing posts with label periods. Show all posts
23 November 2013
13 October 2013
Cycle 3: Day 0
My period has arrived this morning so tomorrow will be my first shot of my third and last cycle. I don't know if it's due to the acupuncture or the natural fluctuations of life, but my period seems heavier and a brighter red. I swear I've never had much interest in the qualities of my period. Getting all involved in your fertility does strange things to you!
I had a doctor's appointment on Friday for my pre-cycle scan. Everything looks okay. There were 7 good follicles on my ovary. My cyst looks to be about the same size. I asked if the seven we were looking at were what we had to work with for this cycle. The doctors said that some of them will go away, but some smaller ones will emerge and it's a good start. I think it's similar to the past two cycles, so that's okay.
So tomorrow I'm on 300 Gonal-F and on day 4 I add the Cetrotide. I'm also going to schedule my next scan for day 4 so that's Thursday. As we are changing the drug dose this cycle, it may need to be more closely monitored. The doctor said he might reduce it ond ay 4 or might keep it the same, so we'll see what happens.
I also paid for this cycle which really hurt the bank balance but it is what it is. When I was paying, I again flagged the issue of the 'follow-up appointment' charge, as I've now been charged twice for it. This time, she went to speak to the clinic director who said that it is definitely not included. So I told her that I thought this was really unreasonable. She said the only time they do a 'free' appointment is in the case of a failed IVF cycle. But I argued that in that case, firstly, the couple comes in one more time after the retrieval so gets to speak to the doctor, and isn't all drugged up and also secondly, as I knew I was going to do at least two cycles, it was fairly obvious that there was a mandatory 'in between appointment' and it was shit to be charged for it. She said she would raise it at the next internal meeting, in the meantime however, I'm out the extra money. I mean fine, in the grand scheme of things it's a small proportion of the money, but I'd rather they bump the overall fee by 100 pounds and then include it then dump it on you like that. It's annoying. And what you don't want to be, in an emotional and hormonally charged process, is annoyed by things that seem really stupid.
I also learned that my clinic has been bought by/has joined a larger network of IVF clinics in the UK. I'm not sure it makes any sort of difference as it seems more of a higher level management issue and each clinic seems to be independently run. But I suppose it can't be a bad thing in the long run, particularly if in a couple years time I'm not in London but somewhere else in the UK, it might be easier to use a local related clinic then go back down to London but that's a long way away to be thinking about. I suppose although it's interesting, it really doesn't seem to impact me at all.
The other thing I'm looking forward to now that this cycle is starting is getting my fridge space back! This is more for my non-UK/European visitors but having had my drug delivery a couple of weeks ago, it's put a serious limit on my fridge space! I have a flatmate, and she gets the bottom half of the fridge, so as you can see from the picture, space has been a little tight!
Anyway, that's all the news from here. I'll keep things updated as this cycle goes.
I had a doctor's appointment on Friday for my pre-cycle scan. Everything looks okay. There were 7 good follicles on my ovary. My cyst looks to be about the same size. I asked if the seven we were looking at were what we had to work with for this cycle. The doctors said that some of them will go away, but some smaller ones will emerge and it's a good start. I think it's similar to the past two cycles, so that's okay.
So tomorrow I'm on 300 Gonal-F and on day 4 I add the Cetrotide. I'm also going to schedule my next scan for day 4 so that's Thursday. As we are changing the drug dose this cycle, it may need to be more closely monitored. The doctor said he might reduce it ond ay 4 or might keep it the same, so we'll see what happens.
I also paid for this cycle which really hurt the bank balance but it is what it is. When I was paying, I again flagged the issue of the 'follow-up appointment' charge, as I've now been charged twice for it. This time, she went to speak to the clinic director who said that it is definitely not included. So I told her that I thought this was really unreasonable. She said the only time they do a 'free' appointment is in the case of a failed IVF cycle. But I argued that in that case, firstly, the couple comes in one more time after the retrieval so gets to speak to the doctor, and isn't all drugged up and also secondly, as I knew I was going to do at least two cycles, it was fairly obvious that there was a mandatory 'in between appointment' and it was shit to be charged for it. She said she would raise it at the next internal meeting, in the meantime however, I'm out the extra money. I mean fine, in the grand scheme of things it's a small proportion of the money, but I'd rather they bump the overall fee by 100 pounds and then include it then dump it on you like that. It's annoying. And what you don't want to be, in an emotional and hormonally charged process, is annoyed by things that seem really stupid.
I also learned that my clinic has been bought by/has joined a larger network of IVF clinics in the UK. I'm not sure it makes any sort of difference as it seems more of a higher level management issue and each clinic seems to be independently run. But I suppose it can't be a bad thing in the long run, particularly if in a couple years time I'm not in London but somewhere else in the UK, it might be easier to use a local related clinic then go back down to London but that's a long way away to be thinking about. I suppose although it's interesting, it really doesn't seem to impact me at all.
The other thing I'm looking forward to now that this cycle is starting is getting my fridge space back! This is more for my non-UK/European visitors but having had my drug delivery a couple of weeks ago, it's put a serious limit on my fridge space! I have a flatmate, and she gets the bottom half of the fridge, so as you can see from the picture, space has been a little tight!
Anyway, that's all the news from here. I'll keep things updated as this cycle goes.
16 September 2013
Meeting with the Doctor
Today I had both my follow up meeting from my last cycle and preparation meeting for my next cycle with my doctor. Again, I got charged for this visit and I plan to call them later this week to hammer out what the deal is with getting charged for this appointment. Last time they said they charged me because I had a scan, but I didn't have a scan this visit. I should have argued when I was there but I wasn't in the right mindframe to do it. I've been incredibly stressed all day and I just couldn't deal with it. Probably a mistake. Whatever.
Anyway.
Here are the things we talked about in no discernible order.
Probably one of the most important is we discussed my results from the last cycle (4 eggs) compared to the first cycle (6 eggs). Of course this disappoints me somewhat, but then if I had 2 ovaries I would have 20 eggs total instead of 10 (lets say) and I'd be perfectly happy with that. So I don't feel like I can be that upset about it. I stressed this was my last possible cycle due to financial considerations. So the doctor said that as it was my last cycle he felt we could try to push the ovary a bit more and he's going to increase my Gonal-F and see how it goes. In both of my cycles there had been additional smaller follicles that didn't catch up or grow as fast and I guess he's hoping to catch them by upping the drugs. As with most of this process, I have to trust that he is basing this decision on his experience and expertise and I trust him. I'm conscious of having read other women who didn't respond well to higher drug doses, but I trust that my clinic scans me every other day, and will monitor me closely and he wouldn't suggest this if he didn't think it was a good plan. It's hard to feel like I'm gambling with my last cycle, but on the other hand, I've read about a lot of women on the higher dose of Gonal-F, so it's not like it's that odd or extreme. I'm sure it will be okay. I'll obviously keep track here of how everything goes.
In keeping with that, I got my prescription for all the drugs so I need to get in touch with Healthcare at Home to send it in and arrange the delivery. I'm going to remember to insist that they include the sharps bin this time!
We arranged my norethisterone prior to the cycle. As my cycle is about 30-31 days, I'm going to do 9 days of the norethisterone. For the first cycle I did 8, the second I did 7. So this is another change although one I'm more on board with. The nurse had suggested I do 9 for my second cycle but the drugs didn't arrive in time so I could only do the 7.
We talked about birth control pills. Specifically about whether or not I could go back on them after the third cycle and if there were any implications for future fertility. He said there is no indication that birth control pills affect ability to conceive and that I should be fine going back on and he had no reservations. So that was good news. I miss my birth control pills!
We talked about my period. Okay, skip over this if you don't want specifics. Basically I've noticed that as I've gotten older, my period is much darker, and lighter, and a bit shorter. Of course as I go through all of this I just panic that this somehow means my womb is an infertile place and I can't conceive. He said the color of your period means absolutely nothing. He also said that the frequency of your period and heaviness have more to do with your ovarian reserve than your ability to get pregnant. He pointed out that there are women close to 50 who get pregnant- they have no eggs left, but their womb can still healthily function. Obviously I am not planning on being 50 and pregnant, but this was comforting news.
We also talked about the counseling service that is available. I sort of wish I'd picked up on this sooner. They have to counselors who have an office space and I just need to call and arrange an appointment and they will often schedule alongside your scan if the timing works out. Although I might start this sooner seeing as how once my scans start there isn't much time left for any counseling. At any rate, it will probably take time to arrange it anyway. So I'm going to do that and will also have updates here.
So really, that was all great, other than being charged 120 quid for the visit. This irritates me to no end, but my comfort and trust in the clinic outweighs my annoyance.
The only other thing of interest is that they are doing some building works to the clinic and so I'm lucky I didn't try to schedule for this month as I don't think they would have done it. They're moving around some of the lab and clinical spaces on the ground floor although the doctors offices and scan rooms on the first floor aren't affected. The building works are supposed to finish right when my next cycle starts, so that allows an extra week and a bit for them to run over before it's a problem. I am just going to assume it's not going to be a problem.
Anyway, that's the update. One month countdown to the third and final cycle begins!
Anyway.
Here are the things we talked about in no discernible order.
Probably one of the most important is we discussed my results from the last cycle (4 eggs) compared to the first cycle (6 eggs). Of course this disappoints me somewhat, but then if I had 2 ovaries I would have 20 eggs total instead of 10 (lets say) and I'd be perfectly happy with that. So I don't feel like I can be that upset about it. I stressed this was my last possible cycle due to financial considerations. So the doctor said that as it was my last cycle he felt we could try to push the ovary a bit more and he's going to increase my Gonal-F and see how it goes. In both of my cycles there had been additional smaller follicles that didn't catch up or grow as fast and I guess he's hoping to catch them by upping the drugs. As with most of this process, I have to trust that he is basing this decision on his experience and expertise and I trust him. I'm conscious of having read other women who didn't respond well to higher drug doses, but I trust that my clinic scans me every other day, and will monitor me closely and he wouldn't suggest this if he didn't think it was a good plan. It's hard to feel like I'm gambling with my last cycle, but on the other hand, I've read about a lot of women on the higher dose of Gonal-F, so it's not like it's that odd or extreme. I'm sure it will be okay. I'll obviously keep track here of how everything goes.
In keeping with that, I got my prescription for all the drugs so I need to get in touch with Healthcare at Home to send it in and arrange the delivery. I'm going to remember to insist that they include the sharps bin this time!
We arranged my norethisterone prior to the cycle. As my cycle is about 30-31 days, I'm going to do 9 days of the norethisterone. For the first cycle I did 8, the second I did 7. So this is another change although one I'm more on board with. The nurse had suggested I do 9 for my second cycle but the drugs didn't arrive in time so I could only do the 7.
We talked about birth control pills. Specifically about whether or not I could go back on them after the third cycle and if there were any implications for future fertility. He said there is no indication that birth control pills affect ability to conceive and that I should be fine going back on and he had no reservations. So that was good news. I miss my birth control pills!
We talked about my period. Okay, skip over this if you don't want specifics. Basically I've noticed that as I've gotten older, my period is much darker, and lighter, and a bit shorter. Of course as I go through all of this I just panic that this somehow means my womb is an infertile place and I can't conceive. He said the color of your period means absolutely nothing. He also said that the frequency of your period and heaviness have more to do with your ovarian reserve than your ability to get pregnant. He pointed out that there are women close to 50 who get pregnant- they have no eggs left, but their womb can still healthily function. Obviously I am not planning on being 50 and pregnant, but this was comforting news.
We also talked about the counseling service that is available. I sort of wish I'd picked up on this sooner. They have to counselors who have an office space and I just need to call and arrange an appointment and they will often schedule alongside your scan if the timing works out. Although I might start this sooner seeing as how once my scans start there isn't much time left for any counseling. At any rate, it will probably take time to arrange it anyway. So I'm going to do that and will also have updates here.
So really, that was all great, other than being charged 120 quid for the visit. This irritates me to no end, but my comfort and trust in the clinic outweighs my annoyance.
The only other thing of interest is that they are doing some building works to the clinic and so I'm lucky I didn't try to schedule for this month as I don't think they would have done it. They're moving around some of the lab and clinical spaces on the ground floor although the doctors offices and scan rooms on the first floor aren't affected. The building works are supposed to finish right when my next cycle starts, so that allows an extra week and a bit for them to run over before it's a problem. I am just going to assume it's not going to be a problem.
Anyway, that's the update. One month countdown to the third and final cycle begins!
11 June 2013
Period
So my period has arrived. Full flow started around 4pm or so which makes tomorrow 'day one' according to my clinic. I will call them in the morning and arrange my first scan for Thursday which, if all looks well, will also be day 1 of injections. For my first cycle I started shots on the 9th and had the retrieval on the 26th. This month my first shot will be on the 13th. If my cycle takes as long, that puts my retrieval at the 30th. I really hope it doesn't go as long this time! But I have enough drugs ready in case it does. I'm actually sort of excited to get this all going again. I don't think I'll do the day by day journal that I did for my first cycle, but I'm sure I'll update with things that occur to me.
I will say one thing of significance which is, this time around I feel much more calm. I've done this once already so there are less 'unknowns' and questions that I have. I've also come to terms with how I feel right now about where I'm at relationship wise, with thinking about having children in the future, etc. I'm also not scared or nervous, although of course I'm a bit anxious because there is always the worry about how many eggs you're going to get. But that's the only thing I'm worrying about. Everything else is much calmer this time around. So that's good. And a good thing to know if someone reading this is thinking of doing a second cycle. I think the second cycle is probably a lot easier.
She says at the start.
I will say one thing of significance which is, this time around I feel much more calm. I've done this once already so there are less 'unknowns' and questions that I have. I've also come to terms with how I feel right now about where I'm at relationship wise, with thinking about having children in the future, etc. I'm also not scared or nervous, although of course I'm a bit anxious because there is always the worry about how many eggs you're going to get. But that's the only thing I'm worrying about. Everything else is much calmer this time around. So that's good. And a good thing to know if someone reading this is thinking of doing a second cycle. I think the second cycle is probably a lot easier.
She says at the start.
14 May 2013
Rolling
Well my period finally arrived and I've been in touch with the clinic to arrange my norethisterone start. When I contacted them I pointed out that my period is definitely not on a 28 day cycle. After my first collection, my period came March 8. My next period started April 11. This period has taken it's time and come May 14. Of course everything seems to be scheduled around a 28 day cycle and that is not me. So I commented on this and heard back that they want to put me on an extra day of norethisterone that starts June 1. For the first cycle I was on 8 days so now I'll be on 9. It also looks, based on this, that my collection will be late June and my injection start will be mid June. So it's still a bit of time yet, but the ball is rolling!
11 May 2013
OMG I Hate Waiting!
I'm waiting for my period so I can let the clinic know the first full day so I can plan my norethisterone for my next cycle. Now, my period is slightly over the 28 day cycle, but my period was like the 8th, then the 10th, then the 11th.... and now it's the 11th and where is my period?? I'm getting a few 'hints' from my gut that it might be on the way, but really nothing. Not a glimmer. It's ridiculous. It's like the more I think about my period, the more my body decides it's going to keep it from me. It's amazing how easy it is to get stressed about things that you normally wouldn't care at all about. Because if I'm not thinking lighthearted thoughts about how silly it is, I'm thinking more damaging thoughts like, "OH MY GOD THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG." Which is also silly, in its own different way. But it's so easy. It's so easy to slip into these sorts of mindsets. And I think it's particularly easy to do it when you've only got yourself to talk about it with. I'm sure there is nothing wrong and my period should arrive tomorrow. Or maybe it arrives the day after.
It's fine.
But it's also annoying.
It's fine.
But it's also annoying.
28 February 2013
48 Hours Later
I'm finally starting to feel a little bit more normal.
When I wrote my last post, I was at home relaxing after the procedure. I did manage to go up to Cambridge that night and I did note that the more I moved around the more "crampy" and "achy" my abdominal area seemed to be. And it wasn't only concentrated on my left side where my ovary is.
I took some paracetamol as I was told I could and slept okay when I finally got home, although I woke up with more abdominal discomfort and a bit of bloating. When I got up to go to the bathroom, I had a lot of gas but not much productivity. This reminded me that when I had the surgery to have my ovary removed, they told me that abdominal intrusion can make the digestive track seize up. In fact, they wouldn't let me leave the hospital until I'd pooped back then. So I started to wonder if something similar wasn't going on.
Yesterday I had a course to go on so I did that and continued to have the occasional over the counter painkiller. Uncomfortable, but not really worse than bad period pains. I was noting that it seemed more 'abdominal' than 'right side' and although I was drinking a lot, and peeing a lot, no other action was going on.
As I didn't bring my bicycle up (like I usually do) I decided to walk home last night which is a little over a mile. It wasn't the most comfortable walk, but I took it slow and steady. I felt that getting some light physical activity in might help my system get moving. Got home, lots of air, no action.
This morning however, my abdominal area feels much better. I got up and had results in the bathroom. I have no idea of I'm making connections that aren't there, but I do know I feel much more comfortable and generally better. Still a bit of bloating and now any aches are pretty much identifiable as on my left side where the ovary is still enlarged.
Also, I've noticed that I think I bit my tongue under sedation and maybe it pressed on my jaw a bit funny if they gave me an oxygen mask as both sides of my jaw, close to my ears is sore to the touch. First I thought it was a pimple, but then I noticed it was on both sides and think it was something else. The tongue thing is annoying, but it will sort itself out.
So I guess I just wait for my period and finally my body can return to normal for a bit, before I go for it again in June.
I feel less disappointed by my six eggs. And I'm really pleased that they are there waiting for me in the freezer. It does make me determined to do at least one more cycle, but I am glad that I have done this. My chances at future pregnancy only diminish from here on out, so those six eggs, and whatever I get in June are a great investment.
When I get back to London I will try to do a break-down post about my costs, as I think it's something useful there should be more information about. I should also have my formal letter from the clinic regarding the extraction, so I will post if there is anything interesting from that. I may also, in the interim, post some thoughts on future parenthood. But in general, I suspect this blog will go a bit quiet until my next cycle starts up.
I'm glad that my story has helped some people. Any questions, please email or leave a comment. And if you are starting your own journey and begin a blog, please send me the link and I will add it to the blog roll on the right.
When I wrote my last post, I was at home relaxing after the procedure. I did manage to go up to Cambridge that night and I did note that the more I moved around the more "crampy" and "achy" my abdominal area seemed to be. And it wasn't only concentrated on my left side where my ovary is.
I took some paracetamol as I was told I could and slept okay when I finally got home, although I woke up with more abdominal discomfort and a bit of bloating. When I got up to go to the bathroom, I had a lot of gas but not much productivity. This reminded me that when I had the surgery to have my ovary removed, they told me that abdominal intrusion can make the digestive track seize up. In fact, they wouldn't let me leave the hospital until I'd pooped back then. So I started to wonder if something similar wasn't going on.
Yesterday I had a course to go on so I did that and continued to have the occasional over the counter painkiller. Uncomfortable, but not really worse than bad period pains. I was noting that it seemed more 'abdominal' than 'right side' and although I was drinking a lot, and peeing a lot, no other action was going on.
As I didn't bring my bicycle up (like I usually do) I decided to walk home last night which is a little over a mile. It wasn't the most comfortable walk, but I took it slow and steady. I felt that getting some light physical activity in might help my system get moving. Got home, lots of air, no action.
This morning however, my abdominal area feels much better. I got up and had results in the bathroom. I have no idea of I'm making connections that aren't there, but I do know I feel much more comfortable and generally better. Still a bit of bloating and now any aches are pretty much identifiable as on my left side where the ovary is still enlarged.
Also, I've noticed that I think I bit my tongue under sedation and maybe it pressed on my jaw a bit funny if they gave me an oxygen mask as both sides of my jaw, close to my ears is sore to the touch. First I thought it was a pimple, but then I noticed it was on both sides and think it was something else. The tongue thing is annoying, but it will sort itself out.
So I guess I just wait for my period and finally my body can return to normal for a bit, before I go for it again in June.
I feel less disappointed by my six eggs. And I'm really pleased that they are there waiting for me in the freezer. It does make me determined to do at least one more cycle, but I am glad that I have done this. My chances at future pregnancy only diminish from here on out, so those six eggs, and whatever I get in June are a great investment.
When I get back to London I will try to do a break-down post about my costs, as I think it's something useful there should be more information about. I should also have my formal letter from the clinic regarding the extraction, so I will post if there is anything interesting from that. I may also, in the interim, post some thoughts on future parenthood. But in general, I suspect this blog will go a bit quiet until my next cycle starts up.
I'm glad that my story has helped some people. Any questions, please email or leave a comment. And if you are starting your own journey and begin a blog, please send me the link and I will add it to the blog roll on the right.
18 February 2013
Day 9 - Scan
Back from the doctor, had a good chat with him about the whole cyst thing. He showed me how a (my) dermoid cyst looks a lot like the bowel. Because my dermoid cyst is very small, it can be difficult to spot. It is able to seen now because the ovary is enlarged. It "moves" with the ovary. But, when the ovary is smaller it can be hard to see from the surrounding gut. He reiterated that it's very small and nothing to be concerned about. So I feel much better about all of that.
On to more exciting news! Follicles! Now I see from reading other blogs that people get measurements on their follicles and I don't know what mine are. So I can't say if I have good size ones or not. I know they are growing though, because the doctor says so! However, they are growing slowly. So instead of collection being Thursday or Friday this week, I may be looking at Monday. Which frankly, sort of sucks. But I'm going in for another scan on Wednesday and then again on Friday. So this is going to be a very busy week for my vagina. :)
I was careful to count the follicles he was measuring- so he measured 8 but he didn't measure a bunch that were on the other side. So I counted ten or eleven follicles. Obviously some are bigger than others. Anyway, from everything I can gather, this seems like a good foundation. So I'm excited. I just now wish the little eggs would mature faster!
Obviously I'll find out more on Wednesday. Unfortunately I don't see my regular doctor but I'll see another doctor in the clinic. Although I'm not concerned about that. I'm scheduled to see my regular doctor again on Friday. I have this sneaking suspicion that perhaps they aren't open over the weekend? I hope that's not the case as it would upset me to think that my collection is predicated on what is best for the doctor's schedule and not what's best for my body when I'm paying a lot of money for this. But that's me making a gross assumption. I'll not worry about that until Wednesday, when I'll try to glean more.
Oh, also, this longer stimulation time is a little bit annoying on the budget. At this rate I'm going to be paying an extra 50-60% for the expensive drugs because I'm going more days than I thought. In the grand scheme of things, it's okay, but it's a little bit annoying and I wasn't necessarily prepared for that length of extension. I'm figuring it will be an extra £600 (~$900) per cycle. Across two cycles, it's something to think about. But hey-ho, in for a penny in for a pound!
Oh yeah, last thing- when I asked about the break between cycles the doctor said that after collection my period would hopefully come around the 11th of March. Then April, then May, and THEN I could consider the next cycle. So assuming everything goes as planned, my second cycle will be June. Which gives me a good amount of time to relax and have fun in between. Of course the doctor says to me "One step at a time!". But I am a busy person and I need to schedule!!
Tonight, the further adventures of the human pin-cushion. I'm still staying on Gonal-F at 225 with the Cetrotide.
On to more exciting news! Follicles! Now I see from reading other blogs that people get measurements on their follicles and I don't know what mine are. So I can't say if I have good size ones or not. I know they are growing though, because the doctor says so! However, they are growing slowly. So instead of collection being Thursday or Friday this week, I may be looking at Monday. Which frankly, sort of sucks. But I'm going in for another scan on Wednesday and then again on Friday. So this is going to be a very busy week for my vagina. :)
I was careful to count the follicles he was measuring- so he measured 8 but he didn't measure a bunch that were on the other side. So I counted ten or eleven follicles. Obviously some are bigger than others. Anyway, from everything I can gather, this seems like a good foundation. So I'm excited. I just now wish the little eggs would mature faster!
Obviously I'll find out more on Wednesday. Unfortunately I don't see my regular doctor but I'll see another doctor in the clinic. Although I'm not concerned about that. I'm scheduled to see my regular doctor again on Friday. I have this sneaking suspicion that perhaps they aren't open over the weekend? I hope that's not the case as it would upset me to think that my collection is predicated on what is best for the doctor's schedule and not what's best for my body when I'm paying a lot of money for this. But that's me making a gross assumption. I'll not worry about that until Wednesday, when I'll try to glean more.
Oh, also, this longer stimulation time is a little bit annoying on the budget. At this rate I'm going to be paying an extra 50-60% for the expensive drugs because I'm going more days than I thought. In the grand scheme of things, it's okay, but it's a little bit annoying and I wasn't necessarily prepared for that length of extension. I'm figuring it will be an extra £600 (~$900) per cycle. Across two cycles, it's something to think about. But hey-ho, in for a penny in for a pound!
Oh yeah, last thing- when I asked about the break between cycles the doctor said that after collection my period would hopefully come around the 11th of March. Then April, then May, and THEN I could consider the next cycle. So assuming everything goes as planned, my second cycle will be June. Which gives me a good amount of time to relax and have fun in between. Of course the doctor says to me "One step at a time!". But I am a busy person and I need to schedule!!
Tonight, the further adventures of the human pin-cushion. I'm still staying on Gonal-F at 225 with the Cetrotide.
12 February 2013
Day 3
Okay, that shot hurt more than the first two. I tried more to my side, and a little higher up than my belly bulge and I don't think I'll be doing that one again. I'm not sure- maybe I didn't go at a complete 90 degree angle? To be fair it's hard to tell. And it's not like it was "painful" just more painful than the first two. So tomorrow, it's back to the belly bulge.
Tonight I started my new 900 pen. It comes with a lot more needles (that I also won't use) as you can see here:
It's not clear where you are supposed to dispose of the extra needles- or the empty pen for that matter. I think I'll take it all back to the clinic. They must have medical disposal waste there. Or maybe it all goes in the sharps bin? I don't know. I'll find out tomorrow. So here is a view of the pen with the cap still on. The little black spot there shows the dosage. It's all very easy. Turn the red end until it reads the right number after attaching the needle and away you go!
If I hadn't been annoyed by the sting of the shot tonight I would have tried to take a photo but I was trying to work out if I had the angle all wrong so couldn't manage it. But hey, I have lots of time to mess around with cameras and stuff!
In other news... I can't tell how it's affecting my body. I have a cold so I feel crappy because I have a cold. I also have my period (though it's ending) so I feel sort of crappy because I have my period. And of course I'm taking the Gonal-F, which does have side effects but it's basically impossible right now for me to say if I feel crappy because of my period, because of a cold, or because of the drugs, or some combination of any of the above.
I do feel bloated. And I definitely brought the wrong pair of jeans up with me. Luckily, I go home tomorrow and I can change back to some comfy pants. I have my first scan tomorrow afternoon, so I can find out if the three days of drugs have actually done anything. And tomorrow night I also add the Cetrotide, so then I get to have two shots. And the Cetrotide requires some mixing, so I'll post more about that too.
Onwards and onwards! Grow little egglings, grow!
Tonight I started my new 900 pen. It comes with a lot more needles (that I also won't use) as you can see here:
It's not clear where you are supposed to dispose of the extra needles- or the empty pen for that matter. I think I'll take it all back to the clinic. They must have medical disposal waste there. Or maybe it all goes in the sharps bin? I don't know. I'll find out tomorrow. So here is a view of the pen with the cap still on. The little black spot there shows the dosage. It's all very easy. Turn the red end until it reads the right number after attaching the needle and away you go!
In other news... I can't tell how it's affecting my body. I have a cold so I feel crappy because I have a cold. I also have my period (though it's ending) so I feel sort of crappy because I have my period. And of course I'm taking the Gonal-F, which does have side effects but it's basically impossible right now for me to say if I feel crappy because of my period, because of a cold, or because of the drugs, or some combination of any of the above.
I do feel bloated. And I definitely brought the wrong pair of jeans up with me. Luckily, I go home tomorrow and I can change back to some comfy pants. I have my first scan tomorrow afternoon, so I can find out if the three days of drugs have actually done anything. And tomorrow night I also add the Cetrotide, so then I get to have two shots. And the Cetrotide requires some mixing, so I'll post more about that too.
Onwards and onwards! Grow little egglings, grow!
09 February 2013
Period
Well, my period arrived with a vengeance this morning! Woke me up with cramping. Unusual. My period is usually fairly light. I have no idea if this is from the norethisterone. I usually never have cramps or anything! At any rate, I'm pleased because today is officially day 1. Tomorrow night, first injection! I'm excited to be moving forward and of course hopeful. My internet is acting up and I'm running around all weekend doing things. I need to do an intensive internet search on if I can take any drugs at all while doing the egg freezing drugs. I'm guessing it's 'no' though, so I'm not taking any, but with cramps and a cold, I really wish I could! Oh well. It will all be a minor inconvenience in the grand scheme of things!
08 February 2013
Waiting...
End of day three off the norethisterone and finally, just a hint of color... I might get my period tomorrow! I was starting to worry- what would happen if I didn't get it after all this?? Stress and periods do not go well together! At any rate, I'm hopeful that tomorrow might be day 1. But I can tell that it's coming. So day 4 scan will be Thursday or Friday next week- perfect!
In other news, I am coming down with a cold. My first thought is "How is a cold going to screw with my egg freezing??" my second thought was "Crap! I can't take any drugs!!". This is going to be a very unpleasant cold. I'm usually a clockwork dayquil/nyquil user. But I'm not taking anything at the moment. Not even painkillers for the neck pain I get from sitting at the computer.
I'm still anxious that this is not going to go well and I'm not going to get many eggs. But part of me is also excited to get it started. And another part of me just wants this first round to be over so I can take cold medication and have a drink!
I think it's a common thing for women who decide on egg freezing - once you decide you want to do it, all of the waiting is particularly painful. I just want to be getting it done!!
Soon soon soon....
In other news, I am coming down with a cold. My first thought is "How is a cold going to screw with my egg freezing??" my second thought was "Crap! I can't take any drugs!!". This is going to be a very unpleasant cold. I'm usually a clockwork dayquil/nyquil user. But I'm not taking anything at the moment. Not even painkillers for the neck pain I get from sitting at the computer.
I'm still anxious that this is not going to go well and I'm not going to get many eggs. But part of me is also excited to get it started. And another part of me just wants this first round to be over so I can take cold medication and have a drink!
I think it's a common thing for women who decide on egg freezing - once you decide you want to do it, all of the waiting is particularly painful. I just want to be getting it done!!
Soon soon soon....
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