So yesterday was a big day! Sorry to be a day behind but I got home and the phone company had shut off all the phones in my building which meant no easy internet.
Anyway, yesterday was scan day. Back to my regular doctor. Had a good scan and a good chat with him. The decision was made to trigger, so my collection is tomorrow (Friday). That's one day short of the last cycle but pretty much the same. I have 4 large follicles and any further stimulation could cause me to lose them. I may lose one already but we'll see. There are also 3-4 follicles just squeaking past 11mm. Apparently that's the threshold for finding mature eggs. So they will sweep all of them in the hopes of finding some. But I guess I should be looking for about 4 eggs tomorrow and anything more would be great and anything less will make me depressed and then I'll have to get over it.
So my appointment is at noon tomorrow. This meant I took only Cetrotide last night before 10:30 (I took it around 9:30, and I did it in a restaurant bathroom. Not ideal but it was all rather short notice and I figured that was better than cancelling my plans.). Then at precisely 11:30 at night I did the Ovitrelle injection. This was a different system than the one I got on my first cycle. This one came in a pen just like the Gonal-F so super easy. Not that the pre-filled syringe wasn't easy as well. I like injections that are easy.
And now I wait. Today no injections. No food or drink past midnight. On the first cycle my collection was early in the morning, so it was easy not to do food or drink. This time I have to wait out half a day which is going to be a bit more challenging although obviously not nearly impossible. Just annoying really. Also no deodorant or anything so I'll take a shower before I go and hope it's not too warm out. Oh, and of course there's the lovely Voltarol suppository that I just need to "pop in" before heading to the clinic. Fun times.
I've arranged a friend to come meet me and go home with me. Much easier this time as the first person I asked could do it. And she's super sweet, she asked me what I wanted as some comfort food so she'd make it for me when we get back to mine. Macaroni and cheese, you are mine all mine!
In other news I learned how I get moved from the procedure room to the recovery room. Apparently they wheel in the recovery room bed and slide you across. That makes sense. I knew it wasn't the same bed! I also asked about follow up appointments. Apparently the reason I got charged for the last one is I had a scan. A talking follow up appointment is free, but the scan costs. I still find that slightly annoying, especially since I was "feeling" my ovary and I think it's reasonable aftercare to have a look and make sure nothing is wrong. But this time I know, or rather, expect that my ovary will take a while to get back to "normal" so I won't have a scan after but I will make a follow up appointment to discuss what the next steps are. If I do get 4 eggs I'll have 10 on ice. That's really not enough for me to feel comfortable. But I can probably only afford one more cycle. So we'll see.
The only differences between last cycle and this cycle other than my taking conception vitamins was one less day of norethisterone prior to stimulation. There haven't been any other impact factors. I mean, other than I'm stressed, but I'm pretty sure I was stressed for the first cycle. And I mean "life" stressed not egg freezing stressed. Meh. It is what it is! I'm doing the best I can! (Repeat).
Oh, the other thing I talked about with the doctor was in vitro maturation of eggs that aren't mature. He wasn't in favor saying the results are really generally poor and in fact as a clinic they are so underwhelmed by the success of in vitro matured eggs they don't offer it. Again, who am I to argue with the doctor? Their success rates as a clinic are high. I'm sure that it does work for some people, but I guess they look at it as an overall benefit and don't see it as panning out. So one less thing for me to consider. That's fine. I'm okay with that.
So anyway, depending on when I have home internet again, I'll update with the results. Nothing to do now but wait! (And drink gallons of water.)
Showing posts with label injection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label injection. Show all posts
27 June 2013
13 June 2013
Cycle 2: Day 1
So I went to the clinic today for my first scan and tonight is my first injection. I remembered to take the Gonal-F out of the fridge so it won't be too cold. My scan was fine. Not with my usual doctor as he's on holiday, but with his colleague who I've seen before. There wasn't much discussion or information. Just an 'all good' and a schedule for injections!
I had to pay the big bill today, but since I've already paid for my drugs, that should be most of the money done for two cycles now. I'll do a cost update at some point with all the costs. I was paying for the egg freezing and talking to the office manager and I complained about how my follow up appointment was not included and that I had to a) request it and b) pay for, on the last cycle. She agreed with me that it wasn't good but needs to talk about it with the doctors. Meaning, she couldn't give me anything for it, but I'm glad I complained.
I was also slightly distressed that my cycle seems to be coinciding with all of the doctors being busy or away. I tried to schedule my next scans and could only schedule the very next one, and a day after what I wanted. So my next (second) scan is on Tuesday. I really wanted Monday morning but there weren't any openings. This means I need to go up to Cambridge, come back from Cambridge, go back to Cambridge, and come back from Cambridge whereas I really just wanted to go up and come back once. Oh well. It's a minor inconvenience really. But the doctors being away is a bigger one. I'll find out more on Tuesday about when and with who my next scans are going to be. Not entirely pleased about it at the moment but I'm hoping it sorts itself out somehow.
Not much else to say yet. I did pick up a sharps bin from the clinic as I didn't get one with my drug delivery (even though I was supposed to). So at least that's sorted.
Right. I guess I better go get it done!
I had to pay the big bill today, but since I've already paid for my drugs, that should be most of the money done for two cycles now. I'll do a cost update at some point with all the costs. I was paying for the egg freezing and talking to the office manager and I complained about how my follow up appointment was not included and that I had to a) request it and b) pay for, on the last cycle. She agreed with me that it wasn't good but needs to talk about it with the doctors. Meaning, she couldn't give me anything for it, but I'm glad I complained.
I was also slightly distressed that my cycle seems to be coinciding with all of the doctors being busy or away. I tried to schedule my next scans and could only schedule the very next one, and a day after what I wanted. So my next (second) scan is on Tuesday. I really wanted Monday morning but there weren't any openings. This means I need to go up to Cambridge, come back from Cambridge, go back to Cambridge, and come back from Cambridge whereas I really just wanted to go up and come back once. Oh well. It's a minor inconvenience really. But the doctors being away is a bigger one. I'll find out more on Tuesday about when and with who my next scans are going to be. Not entirely pleased about it at the moment but I'm hoping it sorts itself out somehow.
Not much else to say yet. I did pick up a sharps bin from the clinic as I didn't get one with my drug delivery (even though I was supposed to). So at least that's sorted.
Right. I guess I better go get it done!
25 February 2013
Day 16 - It's the Final Countdown
I can't believe I have taken my last shots of this cycle! I was very good about taking my two shots last night exactly on time. My last Cetrotide was at 7:01pm and my Ovitrelle was at 8:01pm. Go me.
And because it's something new, I also have some new pictures to share. First, there's the Ovitrelle. It needed to be kept in the fridge. I looked online and it seemed reasonable to believe that I could remove it from the fridge about 30 minutes before injection so it was less chilly. So I did. Here is the box:
Having removed it from the fridge 30 minutes before injecting, it wasn't noticeably cold in any way or uncomfortable compared to my other injections. Now, you might notice the air bubble that it comes with. I did ask the nurse and she said not to worry about the air bubble. That as the injection was subcutaneous, it doesn't matter. Air bubbles really only matter if they get into your veins. But I wasn't thrilled with the big air bubble so I did get rid of most of it before doing the injection although not all of it- as I didn't want to risk losing any of the injection itself. It went in no problem and then I was done:
I did think one thing interesting about this syringe was how it was sort of "all glass". The Cetrotide syringes had a plastic plunger. I thought this was actually a rather attractive sort of syringe. If such things can be viewed in any was as attractive. Anyway, I put the cover back on the needle and put my last bit of sharp into my sharps bin!
And so that's it really. The only thing left in my bag of tricks is the lovely suppository.
Oh yippee. It's funny to read some of the forums where people get all squeamish about suppositories. Honestly, you've been jabbing yourself with needles for two weeks and getting done by an ultrasound dildo every few days and you can't manage to pop something up your bum? I find this line of modesty sort of amusing. But in reality, that picture makes it look a bit invasive. Really, it's very tiny and I'm sure it will be no problem at all.
And so tomorrow I will have answers to questions that no one can answer for me. Today I am going to drink huge amounts of water and eat sensibly but light (I had a massive Sunday roast yesterday and ate red meat like it was going out of style). No food or drink after midnight- though I plan to be asleep by then. Then up bright and early to have a shower and then avoid putting on deodorant or anything else with a scent as instructed by my clinic, pop in the suppository, grab my sharps box, and get on public transport at 7:30 to be there for 8:30 for my procedure at 9am.
It's hard not to be hopeful. And simultaneously afraid of a bad result. It will be what it will be. There is nothing else I can do but wait and see. And I will update here when I am able. I still plan to travel up to Cambridge tomorrow night though, so we'll see how everything is going. It could all be panic stations around here just due to my life, as of now put on hold, resuming with force.
And because it's something new, I also have some new pictures to share. First, there's the Ovitrelle. It needed to be kept in the fridge. I looked online and it seemed reasonable to believe that I could remove it from the fridge about 30 minutes before injection so it was less chilly. So I did. Here is the box:
And here is what is inside the box. One pre-filled and ready-to-go syringe. Oh, and also there was a little instruction and information sheet, but it wasn't very useful or interesting so I didn't photograph that.
Having removed it from the fridge 30 minutes before injecting, it wasn't noticeably cold in any way or uncomfortable compared to my other injections. Now, you might notice the air bubble that it comes with. I did ask the nurse and she said not to worry about the air bubble. That as the injection was subcutaneous, it doesn't matter. Air bubbles really only matter if they get into your veins. But I wasn't thrilled with the big air bubble so I did get rid of most of it before doing the injection although not all of it- as I didn't want to risk losing any of the injection itself. It went in no problem and then I was done:
I did think one thing interesting about this syringe was how it was sort of "all glass". The Cetrotide syringes had a plastic plunger. I thought this was actually a rather attractive sort of syringe. If such things can be viewed in any was as attractive. Anyway, I put the cover back on the needle and put my last bit of sharp into my sharps bin!
So here you see it. The results of my first cycle of sharps. Pretty much filled the bin. you can see that it says not to fill above the line and I'd suggest that it was pretty much filled exactly to the line! This was mainly due to all of the extra and unused needles that come with the Gonal-F pens. Pretty wasteful, those. Anyway, I figure I will take this with me tomorrow morning to the clinic and give it to them for disposal so I got to lock down the lid!
And so that's it really. The only thing left in my bag of tricks is the lovely suppository.
Oh yippee. It's funny to read some of the forums where people get all squeamish about suppositories. Honestly, you've been jabbing yourself with needles for two weeks and getting done by an ultrasound dildo every few days and you can't manage to pop something up your bum? I find this line of modesty sort of amusing. But in reality, that picture makes it look a bit invasive. Really, it's very tiny and I'm sure it will be no problem at all.
And so tomorrow I will have answers to questions that no one can answer for me. Today I am going to drink huge amounts of water and eat sensibly but light (I had a massive Sunday roast yesterday and ate red meat like it was going out of style). No food or drink after midnight- though I plan to be asleep by then. Then up bright and early to have a shower and then avoid putting on deodorant or anything else with a scent as instructed by my clinic, pop in the suppository, grab my sharps box, and get on public transport at 7:30 to be there for 8:30 for my procedure at 9am.
It's hard not to be hopeful. And simultaneously afraid of a bad result. It will be what it will be. There is nothing else I can do but wait and see. And I will update here when I am able. I still plan to travel up to Cambridge tomorrow night though, so we'll see how everything is going. It could all be panic stations around here just due to my life, as of now put on hold, resuming with force.
24 February 2013
Days 14, 15
Last night was my last Gonal-F injection!! It was 187.5 as opposed to the 225 I've been taking for the rest of my cycle. And of course the Cetrotide. The past two days all of the injections have been pretty easy which has been nice. Today I have my last injections before egg collection. At 7pm I take the Cetrotide and then at 8pm I take the Ovitrelle that is waiting for me in the fridge. Monday- no shots! Then Tuesday morning I need to pop in a Voltarol suppository before heading to the clinic super early. The Voltarol is for pain relief and seems standard practice for some UK clinics according to forums on the internet.
I've arranged for my friend to be there by 10 and I imagine I should be able to leave by 11 at the latest. So the end is almost here. I can see it. I'm both nervous and excited. And I'm not going to lie, I'm also excited to get my life back for a couple of months where I'm not injecting myself every night and giving up alcohol and caffeine.
My right side where my ovary is feels a bit tight but honestly it's felt worse at different parts of this journey. I've been very careful to avoid twisting and I can't help worry about things like OHSS and what happens after egg collection, but by the time my period comes it should all be flushing away and reverting to normal.
It's easy to get wrapped up in this experience but I still find it challenging that the support and advice for egg freezing is just dwarfed by IVF. The issues are entirely different. I do find it useful to read IVF forums for understanding issues regarding the egg collection process, but all this DH this and BFN/P that- it's not relevant to my journey and in some ways highlights the wrong thing about this process as it only painfully reminds me that my life is not where I had hoped it would be at this point.
It's also interesting the responses I've had from different friends about what I'm doing. I have been reasonably open about telling friends of mine what I'm doing and the results have ranged from "That's amazing and you would make a great mother." to "Why would you do that?" to "Why don't you just get pregnant now?". The responses have not necessarily coordinated with the friends I thought they would have, either.
I'm not rushing in to any decisions. I just feel that this gives me an option I would otherwise be passing up. And I believe that it is a good idea and the right thing for me to be doing at this time. In addition, having lost an ovary already, it makes sense to try to preserve eggs from my remaining ovary which, as discussed already has a small cyst on it, because as I well know- anything can happen and then your choices can be taken away from you.
On the other hand, it puts into stark relief things about my life that have disappointed me. It forces me to consider things that I have not necessarily been considering. And I feel it is additionally challenging to be undertaking all of this alone without anyone to truly share 'the burden' of the harder thoughts with. Or just the stupid moments of having injections and sharps boxes.
It's part of the reason I made this blog, and have tried to find others. Or maybe I'm just someone who likes sharing. Anyway. Enough Sunday morning rambling! I will continue to keep this blog updated with the results of this cycle, any thoughts in between, and when I do the second cycle (which I am entirely assuming I will do as there is no reason at this point to think I won't) I'll return to it, though possibly not the day by day description that this first cycle has been. But as my doctor says, that's still a ways away. First things first!
Last day of shots today!! Woohoo!!
I've arranged for my friend to be there by 10 and I imagine I should be able to leave by 11 at the latest. So the end is almost here. I can see it. I'm both nervous and excited. And I'm not going to lie, I'm also excited to get my life back for a couple of months where I'm not injecting myself every night and giving up alcohol and caffeine.
My right side where my ovary is feels a bit tight but honestly it's felt worse at different parts of this journey. I've been very careful to avoid twisting and I can't help worry about things like OHSS and what happens after egg collection, but by the time my period comes it should all be flushing away and reverting to normal.
It's easy to get wrapped up in this experience but I still find it challenging that the support and advice for egg freezing is just dwarfed by IVF. The issues are entirely different. I do find it useful to read IVF forums for understanding issues regarding the egg collection process, but all this DH this and BFN/P that- it's not relevant to my journey and in some ways highlights the wrong thing about this process as it only painfully reminds me that my life is not where I had hoped it would be at this point.
It's also interesting the responses I've had from different friends about what I'm doing. I have been reasonably open about telling friends of mine what I'm doing and the results have ranged from "That's amazing and you would make a great mother." to "Why would you do that?" to "Why don't you just get pregnant now?". The responses have not necessarily coordinated with the friends I thought they would have, either.
I'm not rushing in to any decisions. I just feel that this gives me an option I would otherwise be passing up. And I believe that it is a good idea and the right thing for me to be doing at this time. In addition, having lost an ovary already, it makes sense to try to preserve eggs from my remaining ovary which, as discussed already has a small cyst on it, because as I well know- anything can happen and then your choices can be taken away from you.
On the other hand, it puts into stark relief things about my life that have disappointed me. It forces me to consider things that I have not necessarily been considering. And I feel it is additionally challenging to be undertaking all of this alone without anyone to truly share 'the burden' of the harder thoughts with. Or just the stupid moments of having injections and sharps boxes.
It's part of the reason I made this blog, and have tried to find others. Or maybe I'm just someone who likes sharing. Anyway. Enough Sunday morning rambling! I will continue to keep this blog updated with the results of this cycle, any thoughts in between, and when I do the second cycle (which I am entirely assuming I will do as there is no reason at this point to think I won't) I'll return to it, though possibly not the day by day description that this first cycle has been. But as my doctor says, that's still a ways away. First things first!
Last day of shots today!! Woohoo!!
22 February 2013
Day 13 - Scan
The end is in sight!
Had my scan this morning. The doctor said that Tuesday would really be better for collection as the goal is to have as many good eggs as possible and I do have some follicles lagging behind. I'm sure that I could question him for his reasoning and thinking, but as my IVF experienced friend said, "What is he going to tell you really except that this is what he thinks they should do based on all the other patients they've seen and the results they've had with different protocols?". It's true really. Whatever they say to me isn't going to be the magic pill that "promises" the prize. Either you trust your doctor, and the clinic, or you don't. So lesson of the day- be very happy with your clinic and doctor because that's really all you've got.
At any rate, he counted 13 follicles and there may have been a couple others. They are getting big! He suggested that I should be looking at 5-10 eggs. Of course there is a massive difference between 5 and 10. And there is absolutely nothing I can do about it except wait and see. Obviously I hope for 10 and I will be disappointed with 5 but it will be what it will be and lets just hope that it's not any less than that which is of course, also entirely possible.
So I have my final drugs now, and I need to be back at the clinic at 8:30am on Tuesday morning for my procedure at 9am and I might be able to go home by 10 and hopefully by 11.
Tonight, I'm on the same drugs as usual- Gonal-F at 225 and Cetrotide. Then tomorrow I do them again but the Gonal-F reduces (I have it written down- I think it's one eight something or other). Sunday at 7pm I take the Cetrotide and then at 8pm I do the Ovitrelle which came pre-packaged and is currently in my fridge waiting for me. Monday- no shots! Hooray! Before I head to the clinic on Tuesday morning, I take a suppository. I think it's a painkiller. I'm not sure, I'll need to double check, and I will post more about all that later.
This has of course prompted me to consider does the procedure actually hurt? It may sound stupid but it hadn't actually particularly occurred to me. Then of course I made the mistake of looking at the internet which is full of both sides- people in pain and people feeling nothing. Well, there just isn't any way to know what it's going to be like until it happens. I'd say my tolerance for pain can be pretty high, but I do tend to flinch. Hopefully I get enough sedation to just knock my ass out.
I've arranged for my friend to come meet me at the clinic and go home with me. It's all heading to the finish line now!
I did say to the doctor today that my ovary feels uncomfortable, my digestive system seems to be a mess, and I've been feeling particularly grumpy. He said it's all normal. At least I can be objective at the moment. The hormones haven't gotten that bad yet!!
Had my scan this morning. The doctor said that Tuesday would really be better for collection as the goal is to have as many good eggs as possible and I do have some follicles lagging behind. I'm sure that I could question him for his reasoning and thinking, but as my IVF experienced friend said, "What is he going to tell you really except that this is what he thinks they should do based on all the other patients they've seen and the results they've had with different protocols?". It's true really. Whatever they say to me isn't going to be the magic pill that "promises" the prize. Either you trust your doctor, and the clinic, or you don't. So lesson of the day- be very happy with your clinic and doctor because that's really all you've got.
At any rate, he counted 13 follicles and there may have been a couple others. They are getting big! He suggested that I should be looking at 5-10 eggs. Of course there is a massive difference between 5 and 10. And there is absolutely nothing I can do about it except wait and see. Obviously I hope for 10 and I will be disappointed with 5 but it will be what it will be and lets just hope that it's not any less than that which is of course, also entirely possible.
So I have my final drugs now, and I need to be back at the clinic at 8:30am on Tuesday morning for my procedure at 9am and I might be able to go home by 10 and hopefully by 11.
Tonight, I'm on the same drugs as usual- Gonal-F at 225 and Cetrotide. Then tomorrow I do them again but the Gonal-F reduces (I have it written down- I think it's one eight something or other). Sunday at 7pm I take the Cetrotide and then at 8pm I do the Ovitrelle which came pre-packaged and is currently in my fridge waiting for me. Monday- no shots! Hooray! Before I head to the clinic on Tuesday morning, I take a suppository. I think it's a painkiller. I'm not sure, I'll need to double check, and I will post more about all that later.
This has of course prompted me to consider does the procedure actually hurt? It may sound stupid but it hadn't actually particularly occurred to me. Then of course I made the mistake of looking at the internet which is full of both sides- people in pain and people feeling nothing. Well, there just isn't any way to know what it's going to be like until it happens. I'd say my tolerance for pain can be pretty high, but I do tend to flinch. Hopefully I get enough sedation to just knock my ass out.
I've arranged for my friend to come meet me at the clinic and go home with me. It's all heading to the finish line now!
I did say to the doctor today that my ovary feels uncomfortable, my digestive system seems to be a mess, and I've been feeling particularly grumpy. He said it's all normal. At least I can be objective at the moment. The hormones haven't gotten that bad yet!!
17 February 2013
Day 7 & 8
Missed a day of posting because yesterday was a horrible disaster. Nothing to do with the egg freezing mind you. More to do with a friend of mine getting attacked and mugged on my doorstep. This would have been bad enough, but it was followed by a car with shot people in it coming to find the police for help (who were obviously at my flat) and then a million police showing up to deal with that, while I was left to deal with my traumatized friend before the police got around to coming back to her.
On top of which, this incident has pushed my flatmate over the edge. She just got home having left the house in a panic yesterday night after the excitement. I'm fully expecting her to give me notice that she's moving out, but as it is, she clearly isn't talking to me. Charming.
So yeah... injections.
Last night they were about an hour late. Tonight I got them done on time. I'm looking forward to my scan tomorrow. My right side is definitely feeling tight and bloated. I'm finding it hard to regain my 'happy place' of thoughts with all of this bloody drama going on. I mean you have got to be kidding me!! But I'm not freaking out, so that's good. Definitely looking forward to the scan and talking to the doctor tomorrow. It's not until the afternoon, but that's okay.
I hope for some good follicle news and a better idea of collection day so I can arrange for my friend to come with me. Getting close now!!
If only there wasn't all this outside stress now to also contend with.... I'm not sure how much positive vibes and calmness help with follicles and eggs or how much stress and agitation may hurt follicles and eggs. All I know is- it is on it's own a somewhat stressful thing to undertake. It's a shame that my life at the moment is adding to it in a negative way!
Tomorrow is another day.
On top of which, this incident has pushed my flatmate over the edge. She just got home having left the house in a panic yesterday night after the excitement. I'm fully expecting her to give me notice that she's moving out, but as it is, she clearly isn't talking to me. Charming.
So yeah... injections.
Last night they were about an hour late. Tonight I got them done on time. I'm looking forward to my scan tomorrow. My right side is definitely feeling tight and bloated. I'm finding it hard to regain my 'happy place' of thoughts with all of this bloody drama going on. I mean you have got to be kidding me!! But I'm not freaking out, so that's good. Definitely looking forward to the scan and talking to the doctor tomorrow. It's not until the afternoon, but that's okay.
I hope for some good follicle news and a better idea of collection day so I can arrange for my friend to come with me. Getting close now!!
If only there wasn't all this outside stress now to also contend with.... I'm not sure how much positive vibes and calmness help with follicles and eggs or how much stress and agitation may hurt follicles and eggs. All I know is- it is on it's own a somewhat stressful thing to undertake. It's a shame that my life at the moment is adding to it in a negative way!
Tomorrow is another day.
16 February 2013
Day 6 - Shots
Just a quick one on the shots last night. Again I was a little bit late so I just wanted to get home and get it done. I was still just trying to get my mind in the right place after the panic. I am also going to guess that my reaction to the cyst was maybe due to all these hormones I'm taking? At any rate, I just thought I'd have a nice calm night of doing my injections and going to bed.
So first I finished off that 900 Gonal-F pen which kept sticking at 25. I was careful to ensure it pressed the entire way down for the last dose and did not get stuck on 25 so that was good. Then I went to mix up the Cetrotide. Did all the steps, ready to go, get the needle in (and it was a bit pokey in the place I selected), I look down and realize I didn't expel the air bubble! Ugh!
So I had to withdraw the needle which now had a bit of blood on it and blood welling up (because I picked a pokey spot). I slowly expelled the air bubble which also meant a little bit of blood that was in the needle tip came out. I wiped it with the alcohol wipe and let it dry and didn't let it touch anything else and when the air was gone I picked a new spot and did the injection.
You think you're just getting to be good at all this stuff and then oops! At least I caught it.
I'm starting to feel a bit of "tightness" in my right side (where the ovary is). It's not pain or even twinges, but more like a small fullness. It's interesting of course because I can compare the two sides as one has no ovary and I can tell a difference. Or maybe I'm just getting a little bloated. To be fair, none of it is particularly bothersome. And other than yesterdays breakdown in tears, I can't say I've noticed any side effects in particular. Although I still have five or six days to go... I tell you what. I'm already looking forward to my "down time" between cycles. The one thing I am starting to feel is just a bit stressed again. I just want to get to the end and know how it's going to go (and really know if this was all worth it)!!
So first I finished off that 900 Gonal-F pen which kept sticking at 25. I was careful to ensure it pressed the entire way down for the last dose and did not get stuck on 25 so that was good. Then I went to mix up the Cetrotide. Did all the steps, ready to go, get the needle in (and it was a bit pokey in the place I selected), I look down and realize I didn't expel the air bubble! Ugh!
So I had to withdraw the needle which now had a bit of blood on it and blood welling up (because I picked a pokey spot). I slowly expelled the air bubble which also meant a little bit of blood that was in the needle tip came out. I wiped it with the alcohol wipe and let it dry and didn't let it touch anything else and when the air was gone I picked a new spot and did the injection.
You think you're just getting to be good at all this stuff and then oops! At least I caught it.
I'm starting to feel a bit of "tightness" in my right side (where the ovary is). It's not pain or even twinges, but more like a small fullness. It's interesting of course because I can compare the two sides as one has no ovary and I can tell a difference. Or maybe I'm just getting a little bloated. To be fair, none of it is particularly bothersome. And other than yesterdays breakdown in tears, I can't say I've noticed any side effects in particular. Although I still have five or six days to go... I tell you what. I'm already looking forward to my "down time" between cycles. The one thing I am starting to feel is just a bit stressed again. I just want to get to the end and know how it's going to go (and really know if this was all worth it)!!
14 February 2013
Day 5
I have two tiny circular bruises on me from the shots. The biggest and darkest is actually from my very first shot. They seem more likely to bruise if they well up with blood when the needle is removed. To be fair, I don't have that many dots on me having now given myself a total of 8 injections. Maybe half have been followed by a blood dot? Oh yeah, in other news I was talking to a friend who did many IVF cycles and she said that she had been told to stay within a two inch radius of the belly button and not to go out to the sides. Which could have explained why the shot I did further to the side hurt more. So sticking closer to the belly button it is!
I did the Gonal-F first again tonight. I was holding it in for the ten seconds and then I moved my thumb and saw it was stuck on 25 again! So I moved my hand and pushed the plunger more firmly and the last 'click' went and the rest of the drug went in. Now I know what happened yesterday. Which makes me feel better about doing the second injection of 25- it was the right thing to do. Today though, I got it all in, albeit after a bit of a pause.
Anyway, on to the Cetrotide. Today with pictures! So first, out of the box we have a sealed container, and an info booklet. Peeling off the top of the sealed container we have two alcohol wipes, two needles, a pre-filled syringe, and a vial of the Cetrotide in powder form. Let me preface this gallery by saying that if you are going to take Cetrotide, make sure you read and follow the instructions that come with it fully- this is an abbreviated version and is no substitute for correct medical advice.
Now they say that it dissolves instantly. But then it says if it doesn't all dissolve you can swirl it gently. They say not to shake it as that adds air bubbles. As you can see from the photo on the left, it really doesn't dissolve cleanly. It takes quite a bit of swirling and scraping at the bits stuck to the bottom with the needle. And some tapping on the side of the vial. It's really a matter of being patient. It does get there eventually, even if I did get a few air bubbles in it (as shown in image on the right) but some gentle tapping sorts those out.
The part that I didn't show is how you are supposed to turn the vial upside down, draw down the needle so it's just in, and then suck up all the liquid. This is not so easy. You don't want to withdraw the needle, and you want to get all the liquid, and not fill up the syringe with air. Again, I think it's more about patience. Taking your time, and if you get too much air, pushing that back so you have space to try to get the rest of the liquid. I managed to get pretty much all of it eventually, as well as a bunch of air. So then I swapped out the big nasty needle for the injection needle (as shown below) and slowly pressed the plunger until the tiniest bit of liquid was visible on the tip. Ready to inject, and so I did.
Next scan is early tomorrow morning. I need to get myself to bed to get up early to get across town to the clinic. I'll be getting more drugs tomorrow as I only have enough Gonal-F left for one more injection at 225 and 2 more Cetrotide boxes. I will definitely be asking about when possible collection day is going to be. Lets hope everything has been continuing in the right direction. I continue to oscillate between being hopeful and being terrified there won't be anything out of this. Useless, I know. And I try not to do it, but I don't see how it can possibly be completely avoided.
I did the Gonal-F first again tonight. I was holding it in for the ten seconds and then I moved my thumb and saw it was stuck on 25 again! So I moved my hand and pushed the plunger more firmly and the last 'click' went and the rest of the drug went in. Now I know what happened yesterday. Which makes me feel better about doing the second injection of 25- it was the right thing to do. Today though, I got it all in, albeit after a bit of a pause.
Anyway, on to the Cetrotide. Today with pictures! So first, out of the box we have a sealed container, and an info booklet. Peeling off the top of the sealed container we have two alcohol wipes, two needles, a pre-filled syringe, and a vial of the Cetrotide in powder form. Let me preface this gallery by saying that if you are going to take Cetrotide, make sure you read and follow the instructions that come with it fully- this is an abbreviated version and is no substitute for correct medical advice.
Right. The first thing you do is get the little vial of the powder, remove the blue cap, and wipe it down with one of the alcohol wipes. You can see when the blue cap is removed it exposes a rubber stopper end where you will insert the needle.
Next, you attach the big (yellow ended) needle to the syringe. On a hard surface, you insert the needle into the rubber stopper and then depress the plunger to add all the liquid in the pre-filled syringe into the vial.
Now they say that it dissolves instantly. But then it says if it doesn't all dissolve you can swirl it gently. They say not to shake it as that adds air bubbles. As you can see from the photo on the left, it really doesn't dissolve cleanly. It takes quite a bit of swirling and scraping at the bits stuck to the bottom with the needle. And some tapping on the side of the vial. It's really a matter of being patient. It does get there eventually, even if I did get a few air bubbles in it (as shown in image on the right) but some gentle tapping sorts those out.
The part that I didn't show is how you are supposed to turn the vial upside down, draw down the needle so it's just in, and then suck up all the liquid. This is not so easy. You don't want to withdraw the needle, and you want to get all the liquid, and not fill up the syringe with air. Again, I think it's more about patience. Taking your time, and if you get too much air, pushing that back so you have space to try to get the rest of the liquid. I managed to get pretty much all of it eventually, as well as a bunch of air. So then I swapped out the big nasty needle for the injection needle (as shown below) and slowly pressed the plunger until the tiniest bit of liquid was visible on the tip. Ready to inject, and so I did.
Next scan is early tomorrow morning. I need to get myself to bed to get up early to get across town to the clinic. I'll be getting more drugs tomorrow as I only have enough Gonal-F left for one more injection at 225 and 2 more Cetrotide boxes. I will definitely be asking about when possible collection day is going to be. Lets hope everything has been continuing in the right direction. I continue to oscillate between being hopeful and being terrified there won't be anything out of this. Useless, I know. And I try not to do it, but I don't see how it can possibly be completely avoided.
Day 4 - Scan Day
Today's entry is in two parts. First, the scan.
Today I had my first scan after 3 days of injections. I could see the screen as he looked at my ovary and measured the little follicles that were there. I counted about 7 or so. Two were clearly bigger, which I assume is a good thing. I will never get used to the UK doctor approach which is basically not very talkative. I prefer the continual information dump and running commentary approach. I suppose it's in part what I'm used to, but you know, I like to be included in my medical health discussion. Not that I have any complaints at all about the clinic- or the doctor for that matter. As when I ask him stuff, he is happy to answer and discuss with me. It's just that I need to ask, it doesn't happen automatically, and I find it a little bit weird.
So as I say, I saw him measuring all the little follicles. I sort of lost count, I swear he measured some of the same ones twice. But he was also very quick. It was definitely more than 5 although some were small. So he said I should stay on the same dose of the Gonal-F (225) and tonight I also add the Cetrotide. My next scan is Friday morning. He didn't see any cysts (which is good). He said it all looked like what he'd like to see so far (without being particularly descriptive about what it is he likes to see). He said that the trick is that they wouldn't want to overstimulate the ovary- you don't want 20 follicles on one ovary. But that a good response would hopefully see me get 10. If I actually got 10 eggs (and if those could all be frozen) that would be superb, because two cycles would give me the magic number of 20. I'm not sure I'll actually get 10 freezable eggs, but the closer I can get to that number the better.
It's kind of crazy to think I'm just back there in less than 2 days, but the more scans, the more information, the more care and looking at I'm getting, then the better as far as I can tell. So like I said, I'm very pleased with the clinic so far really. Oh, they said that my unused needles should all go in the sharps bin and that any unused medicine or medicine containers I can bring in and they can dispose of. So that was good to know. Although today they took the unused needles in the Gonal-F box, even though they say on their handout that they don't take unused needles not in a sharps bin. I don't think it was a big deal really.
I'm writing this in a cafe just now. I'll return to it later tonight when I discuss my shots. The regular Gonal-F and the new part of the regimen, mixing my own Cetrotide.
Okay, I wrote that part before and I'm picking up this post where I left off. My intention had been to take pictures and post about the mixing but I got home late so I just wanted to get the shots done to stay close to my schedule. I took the Gonal-F about 45 minutes after my 24 hour time and the Cetrotide about 15 minutes after that. All within reason to be fair, but I was just conscious about getting it done.
And what an annoyance last night was! First, I did the Gonal-F. I figured I had it down, I understood what I was doing, and it's easy. So I prep, I measure, I inject, I wait ten seconds, take the pen out.... and it says 25 left in the black window. Crap! If it has a number left it means you didn't take the full injection. But I did depress the plunger all the way (or so I thought). So I was first annoyed, then worried, then I just decided to give myself the 25 with a new needle. So I did that and it definitely went to 0. But it was an extra little bit of bother when I was already just trying to get it done! Ugh! Also, two pin pricks. Double ugh!
Or, make that three pin pricks. Because I had to mix up the Cetrotide. This was more complicated than I thought it was going to be. I will take a picture of the box set up hopefully for day 5 and post more about the mixing. Needless to say, there were a number of steps, it didn't all dissolve straight away so I kept trying to mix it without shaking it (as that adds air bubbles). Getting it back into the syringe was also not 'obvious' and I got a bit of air in there and I'm not convinced I got 100% of the drug back in the needle (although I did get most of it) and then I had to do yet another injection although that went fine when I finally got to that point, I was just glad to get it done!
Now my next scan is first thing Friday morning. I look forward to getting more information on how this is all going. It would be good to have an idea of what day collection might be for- as I need to figure out who I know that can come with me. If it's Thursday or Friday I have someone but if it's Wednesday, I might be on my own. I think that's the only shitty thing about this whole exercise- is really being on your own. It's part of the reason I don't find as much help from the IVF blogs- they're all with partners, they have different objectives, it's really a different sort of procedure and expectation. Egg freezing is similar, but it's different. I wish more women were sharing their stories!!
Today I had my first scan after 3 days of injections. I could see the screen as he looked at my ovary and measured the little follicles that were there. I counted about 7 or so. Two were clearly bigger, which I assume is a good thing. I will never get used to the UK doctor approach which is basically not very talkative. I prefer the continual information dump and running commentary approach. I suppose it's in part what I'm used to, but you know, I like to be included in my medical health discussion. Not that I have any complaints at all about the clinic- or the doctor for that matter. As when I ask him stuff, he is happy to answer and discuss with me. It's just that I need to ask, it doesn't happen automatically, and I find it a little bit weird.
So as I say, I saw him measuring all the little follicles. I sort of lost count, I swear he measured some of the same ones twice. But he was also very quick. It was definitely more than 5 although some were small. So he said I should stay on the same dose of the Gonal-F (225) and tonight I also add the Cetrotide. My next scan is Friday morning. He didn't see any cysts (which is good). He said it all looked like what he'd like to see so far (without being particularly descriptive about what it is he likes to see). He said that the trick is that they wouldn't want to overstimulate the ovary- you don't want 20 follicles on one ovary. But that a good response would hopefully see me get 10. If I actually got 10 eggs (and if those could all be frozen) that would be superb, because two cycles would give me the magic number of 20. I'm not sure I'll actually get 10 freezable eggs, but the closer I can get to that number the better.
It's kind of crazy to think I'm just back there in less than 2 days, but the more scans, the more information, the more care and looking at I'm getting, then the better as far as I can tell. So like I said, I'm very pleased with the clinic so far really. Oh, they said that my unused needles should all go in the sharps bin and that any unused medicine or medicine containers I can bring in and they can dispose of. So that was good to know. Although today they took the unused needles in the Gonal-F box, even though they say on their handout that they don't take unused needles not in a sharps bin. I don't think it was a big deal really.
I'm writing this in a cafe just now. I'll return to it later tonight when I discuss my shots. The regular Gonal-F and the new part of the regimen, mixing my own Cetrotide.
Okay, I wrote that part before and I'm picking up this post where I left off. My intention had been to take pictures and post about the mixing but I got home late so I just wanted to get the shots done to stay close to my schedule. I took the Gonal-F about 45 minutes after my 24 hour time and the Cetrotide about 15 minutes after that. All within reason to be fair, but I was just conscious about getting it done.
And what an annoyance last night was! First, I did the Gonal-F. I figured I had it down, I understood what I was doing, and it's easy. So I prep, I measure, I inject, I wait ten seconds, take the pen out.... and it says 25 left in the black window. Crap! If it has a number left it means you didn't take the full injection. But I did depress the plunger all the way (or so I thought). So I was first annoyed, then worried, then I just decided to give myself the 25 with a new needle. So I did that and it definitely went to 0. But it was an extra little bit of bother when I was already just trying to get it done! Ugh! Also, two pin pricks. Double ugh!
Or, make that three pin pricks. Because I had to mix up the Cetrotide. This was more complicated than I thought it was going to be. I will take a picture of the box set up hopefully for day 5 and post more about the mixing. Needless to say, there were a number of steps, it didn't all dissolve straight away so I kept trying to mix it without shaking it (as that adds air bubbles). Getting it back into the syringe was also not 'obvious' and I got a bit of air in there and I'm not convinced I got 100% of the drug back in the needle (although I did get most of it) and then I had to do yet another injection although that went fine when I finally got to that point, I was just glad to get it done!
Now my next scan is first thing Friday morning. I look forward to getting more information on how this is all going. It would be good to have an idea of what day collection might be for- as I need to figure out who I know that can come with me. If it's Thursday or Friday I have someone but if it's Wednesday, I might be on my own. I think that's the only shitty thing about this whole exercise- is really being on your own. It's part of the reason I don't find as much help from the IVF blogs- they're all with partners, they have different objectives, it's really a different sort of procedure and expectation. Egg freezing is similar, but it's different. I wish more women were sharing their stories!!
12 February 2013
Day 3
Okay, that shot hurt more than the first two. I tried more to my side, and a little higher up than my belly bulge and I don't think I'll be doing that one again. I'm not sure- maybe I didn't go at a complete 90 degree angle? To be fair it's hard to tell. And it's not like it was "painful" just more painful than the first two. So tomorrow, it's back to the belly bulge.
Tonight I started my new 900 pen. It comes with a lot more needles (that I also won't use) as you can see here:
It's not clear where you are supposed to dispose of the extra needles- or the empty pen for that matter. I think I'll take it all back to the clinic. They must have medical disposal waste there. Or maybe it all goes in the sharps bin? I don't know. I'll find out tomorrow. So here is a view of the pen with the cap still on. The little black spot there shows the dosage. It's all very easy. Turn the red end until it reads the right number after attaching the needle and away you go!
If I hadn't been annoyed by the sting of the shot tonight I would have tried to take a photo but I was trying to work out if I had the angle all wrong so couldn't manage it. But hey, I have lots of time to mess around with cameras and stuff!
In other news... I can't tell how it's affecting my body. I have a cold so I feel crappy because I have a cold. I also have my period (though it's ending) so I feel sort of crappy because I have my period. And of course I'm taking the Gonal-F, which does have side effects but it's basically impossible right now for me to say if I feel crappy because of my period, because of a cold, or because of the drugs, or some combination of any of the above.
I do feel bloated. And I definitely brought the wrong pair of jeans up with me. Luckily, I go home tomorrow and I can change back to some comfy pants. I have my first scan tomorrow afternoon, so I can find out if the three days of drugs have actually done anything. And tomorrow night I also add the Cetrotide, so then I get to have two shots. And the Cetrotide requires some mixing, so I'll post more about that too.
Onwards and onwards! Grow little egglings, grow!
Tonight I started my new 900 pen. It comes with a lot more needles (that I also won't use) as you can see here:
It's not clear where you are supposed to dispose of the extra needles- or the empty pen for that matter. I think I'll take it all back to the clinic. They must have medical disposal waste there. Or maybe it all goes in the sharps bin? I don't know. I'll find out tomorrow. So here is a view of the pen with the cap still on. The little black spot there shows the dosage. It's all very easy. Turn the red end until it reads the right number after attaching the needle and away you go!
In other news... I can't tell how it's affecting my body. I have a cold so I feel crappy because I have a cold. I also have my period (though it's ending) so I feel sort of crappy because I have my period. And of course I'm taking the Gonal-F, which does have side effects but it's basically impossible right now for me to say if I feel crappy because of my period, because of a cold, or because of the drugs, or some combination of any of the above.
I do feel bloated. And I definitely brought the wrong pair of jeans up with me. Luckily, I go home tomorrow and I can change back to some comfy pants. I have my first scan tomorrow afternoon, so I can find out if the three days of drugs have actually done anything. And tomorrow night I also add the Cetrotide, so then I get to have two shots. And the Cetrotide requires some mixing, so I'll post more about that too.
Onwards and onwards! Grow little egglings, grow!
11 February 2013
Day 2
Just did my second injection about a half an hour ago. That's one expensive pen all done! I have a tiny little dark bruise from the injection yesterday. Today I can't even see where I did it. I don't know what I did differently. Well, the one thing I know I did differently was that I kept my finger on the plunger until the needle was completely removed! But other than that, I don't know if I did anything differently.
I'm hyper conscious of any small changes in my body which is weird. I feel every twinge and ping and ache. I swear I can feel my ovary pinging every now and then. I don't know if this is just me being particularly hyper sensitive or if it's anything real. I read through the leaflet that comes with the Gonal-F all about the possible side effects and the likelihood of the various side effects. I don't usually find reading such things helpful- it just implants suggestions in your head.
I spoke to the clinic this morning- I have an appointment for a scan midday on Wednesday which will be Day 4 which is when the doctor wanted to see me. So that's good. In other news I was looking through various egg freezing sites last night and I think the best I can hope for is 5-10 eggs. Of course there's a big difference between 5 and 10! I know this is something I shouldn't be thinking too much about. There isn't anything I can do to change what it's going to be. But I know I will be really disappointed if it's 5 or less. Because then even with two cycles I haven't secured very good odds for all this hassle.
However. I will worry about this when I need to worry about it and there is no point in worrying about it now!!
10 February 2013
First Shot
Well, it's 10pm and I have just administered my first shot. I was more nervous than I thought I would be. I watched a couple of videos online about how to do it, then I got my stuff together and got it done. First things first, I got to open the box that it all comes in, so it looked like this:
So here you see then pen, a shitload of needles that I will not need (for me, this pen holds 2 doses), an information sheet telling you all about what the drug is for and what the side effects are, and then a brochure on how to administer your dose. Another view:
Now it tells you to take everything to a 'clean place'. So I figured my bed was maybe not the cleanest dust-free environment so I took everything down to my dining table which I wiped clean. I also washed my hands (as instructed). Luckily I had some antiseptic wipes in the house. The doctor neglected to tell me I needed any, and they didn't come in the box. And of course I had my sharps bin ready.
Now I didn't take pictures during the needle prep or anything as I was just too focused on getting it done. I had no air bubble in the pen, so I put on a needle, set the correct dose, wiped my side/stomach down, pinched an inch, and injected at a 90 degree angle. I did feel a bit of a poke and didn't like it but that was really just an instant and then I honestly didn't feel anything. I depressed the plunger. It seemed to go very very slowly.... and then you need to hold the pen in for ten seconds. Then I went to remove the pen- and as I removed it I accidentally took my finger off the plunger like you are NOT supposed to do, so I sort of freaked out that I screwed something up, but then pen showed a '0' which meant I gave myself a full dose, and I didn't see any blood or anything sucked back into it so I think it's okay. It did well up with a tiny dot of blood, as you can see here:
Which is probably why they also tell you to have some sterile gauze with you, but I didn't have any of that, so I just gave it an extra wipe with the alcohol pad and it seemed fine. Now it's gone a little bit dark and it's got a bit of a bump to it (fluid underneath?) but it's all fine and done. So that's shot one. Tomorrow, and the next night I am in my 'other' home, so I need to pack up all my stuff and take it with me. 10 pm should be fine tomorrow, although Tuesday night it might be slightly trickier. Wednesday night, which will be day 4, I add the Cetrotide. As I get more skilled at this, maybe I can take some better pictures.
Now what am I supposed to do with all of those unused needles? I guess they all just go straight into the sharps bin. I'll ask the clinic tomorrow when I call to make an appointment for my scan.
So here you see then pen, a shitload of needles that I will not need (for me, this pen holds 2 doses), an information sheet telling you all about what the drug is for and what the side effects are, and then a brochure on how to administer your dose. Another view:
Now it tells you to take everything to a 'clean place'. So I figured my bed was maybe not the cleanest dust-free environment so I took everything down to my dining table which I wiped clean. I also washed my hands (as instructed). Luckily I had some antiseptic wipes in the house. The doctor neglected to tell me I needed any, and they didn't come in the box. And of course I had my sharps bin ready.
Now I didn't take pictures during the needle prep or anything as I was just too focused on getting it done. I had no air bubble in the pen, so I put on a needle, set the correct dose, wiped my side/stomach down, pinched an inch, and injected at a 90 degree angle. I did feel a bit of a poke and didn't like it but that was really just an instant and then I honestly didn't feel anything. I depressed the plunger. It seemed to go very very slowly.... and then you need to hold the pen in for ten seconds. Then I went to remove the pen- and as I removed it I accidentally took my finger off the plunger like you are NOT supposed to do, so I sort of freaked out that I screwed something up, but then pen showed a '0' which meant I gave myself a full dose, and I didn't see any blood or anything sucked back into it so I think it's okay. It did well up with a tiny dot of blood, as you can see here:
Which is probably why they also tell you to have some sterile gauze with you, but I didn't have any of that, so I just gave it an extra wipe with the alcohol pad and it seemed fine. Now it's gone a little bit dark and it's got a bit of a bump to it (fluid underneath?) but it's all fine and done. So that's shot one. Tomorrow, and the next night I am in my 'other' home, so I need to pack up all my stuff and take it with me. 10 pm should be fine tomorrow, although Tuesday night it might be slightly trickier. Wednesday night, which will be day 4, I add the Cetrotide. As I get more skilled at this, maybe I can take some better pictures.
Now what am I supposed to do with all of those unused needles? I guess they all just go straight into the sharps bin. I'll ask the clinic tomorrow when I call to make an appointment for my scan.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)