Had my scan this morning. There was a fuck up at the clinic- as my appointment was just not on the system. I showed up, but they didn't have me down and of course the doctors were fully booked. I had scheduled a counseling appointment for after my scan, so I had that and then the clinic director (not my normal doctor) saw me. So it was okay in the end, although I would have preferred to see my regular doctor, there are only 3 doctors and I always see a doctor so it's not that big a deal. I suppose it's just good luck though that I'm a full time student and could waste my entire morning instead of being done by 10:30 like I'd planned.
So scan reporting first. The doctor saw 7-8 follicles, they're all still small, only about 6.5mm. He's keeping me on the 300 Gonal-F for three more days and then I drop down to 225. My next scan is on Monday. I also start adding the Cetrotide tonight. Got to keep hold those little growing eggs! So really nothing else to discuss about the scan. All is regular. Continue on course.
The counseling session was interesting. I really think it's something I should have done during my first cycle. I did a lot of thinking and working through stuff on my own (some of it's on here). So this was a bit more like me reporting to someone else about the process I feel I've gone through. You know- first having to face up to the whole children issue when I always thought it would vaguely 'happen some day' and suddenly realizing that 'some day' was really on a very limited time scale. Then having to process what it might mean if I don't find a partner in the next couple of years and whether or not I'd be willing to have a child on my own (I would). Of course that comes with no small amount of sadness and guilt and stress. I also talked about how coming to these decisions has changed my view of the future about things like what job I want to take after I finish the PhD as I am thinking about things like maternity cover.
I've made another appointment to see her after this cycle finishes and when I put this egg freezing chapter of my life to bed for now. So I will report back on how that goes. Overall though, I thought it was really good to talk to someone, I just feel a bit dense for not doing it sooner.
Showing posts with label Cetrotide. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cetrotide. Show all posts
17 October 2013
27 June 2013
Cycle 2: Day 15
So yesterday was a big day! Sorry to be a day behind but I got home and the phone company had shut off all the phones in my building which meant no easy internet.
Anyway, yesterday was scan day. Back to my regular doctor. Had a good scan and a good chat with him. The decision was made to trigger, so my collection is tomorrow (Friday). That's one day short of the last cycle but pretty much the same. I have 4 large follicles and any further stimulation could cause me to lose them. I may lose one already but we'll see. There are also 3-4 follicles just squeaking past 11mm. Apparently that's the threshold for finding mature eggs. So they will sweep all of them in the hopes of finding some. But I guess I should be looking for about 4 eggs tomorrow and anything more would be great and anything less will make me depressed and then I'll have to get over it.
So my appointment is at noon tomorrow. This meant I took only Cetrotide last night before 10:30 (I took it around 9:30, and I did it in a restaurant bathroom. Not ideal but it was all rather short notice and I figured that was better than cancelling my plans.). Then at precisely 11:30 at night I did the Ovitrelle injection. This was a different system than the one I got on my first cycle. This one came in a pen just like the Gonal-F so super easy. Not that the pre-filled syringe wasn't easy as well. I like injections that are easy.
And now I wait. Today no injections. No food or drink past midnight. On the first cycle my collection was early in the morning, so it was easy not to do food or drink. This time I have to wait out half a day which is going to be a bit more challenging although obviously not nearly impossible. Just annoying really. Also no deodorant or anything so I'll take a shower before I go and hope it's not too warm out. Oh, and of course there's the lovely Voltarol suppository that I just need to "pop in" before heading to the clinic. Fun times.
I've arranged a friend to come meet me and go home with me. Much easier this time as the first person I asked could do it. And she's super sweet, she asked me what I wanted as some comfort food so she'd make it for me when we get back to mine. Macaroni and cheese, you are mine all mine!
In other news I learned how I get moved from the procedure room to the recovery room. Apparently they wheel in the recovery room bed and slide you across. That makes sense. I knew it wasn't the same bed! I also asked about follow up appointments. Apparently the reason I got charged for the last one is I had a scan. A talking follow up appointment is free, but the scan costs. I still find that slightly annoying, especially since I was "feeling" my ovary and I think it's reasonable aftercare to have a look and make sure nothing is wrong. But this time I know, or rather, expect that my ovary will take a while to get back to "normal" so I won't have a scan after but I will make a follow up appointment to discuss what the next steps are. If I do get 4 eggs I'll have 10 on ice. That's really not enough for me to feel comfortable. But I can probably only afford one more cycle. So we'll see.
The only differences between last cycle and this cycle other than my taking conception vitamins was one less day of norethisterone prior to stimulation. There haven't been any other impact factors. I mean, other than I'm stressed, but I'm pretty sure I was stressed for the first cycle. And I mean "life" stressed not egg freezing stressed. Meh. It is what it is! I'm doing the best I can! (Repeat).
Oh, the other thing I talked about with the doctor was in vitro maturation of eggs that aren't mature. He wasn't in favor saying the results are really generally poor and in fact as a clinic they are so underwhelmed by the success of in vitro matured eggs they don't offer it. Again, who am I to argue with the doctor? Their success rates as a clinic are high. I'm sure that it does work for some people, but I guess they look at it as an overall benefit and don't see it as panning out. So one less thing for me to consider. That's fine. I'm okay with that.
So anyway, depending on when I have home internet again, I'll update with the results. Nothing to do now but wait! (And drink gallons of water.)
Anyway, yesterday was scan day. Back to my regular doctor. Had a good scan and a good chat with him. The decision was made to trigger, so my collection is tomorrow (Friday). That's one day short of the last cycle but pretty much the same. I have 4 large follicles and any further stimulation could cause me to lose them. I may lose one already but we'll see. There are also 3-4 follicles just squeaking past 11mm. Apparently that's the threshold for finding mature eggs. So they will sweep all of them in the hopes of finding some. But I guess I should be looking for about 4 eggs tomorrow and anything more would be great and anything less will make me depressed and then I'll have to get over it.
So my appointment is at noon tomorrow. This meant I took only Cetrotide last night before 10:30 (I took it around 9:30, and I did it in a restaurant bathroom. Not ideal but it was all rather short notice and I figured that was better than cancelling my plans.). Then at precisely 11:30 at night I did the Ovitrelle injection. This was a different system than the one I got on my first cycle. This one came in a pen just like the Gonal-F so super easy. Not that the pre-filled syringe wasn't easy as well. I like injections that are easy.
And now I wait. Today no injections. No food or drink past midnight. On the first cycle my collection was early in the morning, so it was easy not to do food or drink. This time I have to wait out half a day which is going to be a bit more challenging although obviously not nearly impossible. Just annoying really. Also no deodorant or anything so I'll take a shower before I go and hope it's not too warm out. Oh, and of course there's the lovely Voltarol suppository that I just need to "pop in" before heading to the clinic. Fun times.
I've arranged a friend to come meet me and go home with me. Much easier this time as the first person I asked could do it. And she's super sweet, she asked me what I wanted as some comfort food so she'd make it for me when we get back to mine. Macaroni and cheese, you are mine all mine!
In other news I learned how I get moved from the procedure room to the recovery room. Apparently they wheel in the recovery room bed and slide you across. That makes sense. I knew it wasn't the same bed! I also asked about follow up appointments. Apparently the reason I got charged for the last one is I had a scan. A talking follow up appointment is free, but the scan costs. I still find that slightly annoying, especially since I was "feeling" my ovary and I think it's reasonable aftercare to have a look and make sure nothing is wrong. But this time I know, or rather, expect that my ovary will take a while to get back to "normal" so I won't have a scan after but I will make a follow up appointment to discuss what the next steps are. If I do get 4 eggs I'll have 10 on ice. That's really not enough for me to feel comfortable. But I can probably only afford one more cycle. So we'll see.
The only differences between last cycle and this cycle other than my taking conception vitamins was one less day of norethisterone prior to stimulation. There haven't been any other impact factors. I mean, other than I'm stressed, but I'm pretty sure I was stressed for the first cycle. And I mean "life" stressed not egg freezing stressed. Meh. It is what it is! I'm doing the best I can! (Repeat).
Oh, the other thing I talked about with the doctor was in vitro maturation of eggs that aren't mature. He wasn't in favor saying the results are really generally poor and in fact as a clinic they are so underwhelmed by the success of in vitro matured eggs they don't offer it. Again, who am I to argue with the doctor? Their success rates as a clinic are high. I'm sure that it does work for some people, but I guess they look at it as an overall benefit and don't see it as panning out. So one less thing for me to consider. That's fine. I'm okay with that.
So anyway, depending on when I have home internet again, I'll update with the results. Nothing to do now but wait! (And drink gallons of water.)
27 April 2013
Drug Delivery
About a week after I'd sent off my prescription to Healthcare at Home (HaH) I got a call to arrange payment and delivery. They were really helpful and friendly on the phone. There was a bit of a mess because it was going on my mom's credit card and she's in the States and they needed her to verify the payment but actually in the end it was all rather simple and easy and so the drugs were paid for at the price I was quoted (still can't believe it) and delivery was arranged for today.
They made a point of telling me that some of the drugs require chilling and so would need to be put in the fridge straight away and instructions would be provided. This proved to be true. It was marked on the box...
...as well as on the inventory.
So all of that has gone straight into the fridge, super easy. The rest is all the Cetrotide which apparently does not need to be refrigerated. That's a lot of Cetrotide!
The only disappointing thing about this was that the drugs and the inventory were all that was in the box. I had asked if the sharps bin came with the drugs and I was told in my original contact by email as well as over the phone that everything I needed would be included, but I'm sad to report it was not. On the other hand, I don't think it's that complicated to get a sharps bin (I'm fairly certain I can pick one up from a pharmacy or from my GP). It's just a small hassle that I wasn't expecting. In the grand scheme of things, it's fine. And I think it's probably an oversight or error since multiple people told me that it would be there.
I'm really not complaining all things considered.
So it's weird to have all the drugs again. It's still a month away and I've got a three week trip to the States that's going to happen in between now and then. Part of me is sort of looking forward to getting it started though, and part of me is looking forward to just getting it done.
They made a point of telling me that some of the drugs require chilling and so would need to be put in the fridge straight away and instructions would be provided. This proved to be true. It was marked on the box...
...as well as on the inventory.
So all of that has gone straight into the fridge, super easy. The rest is all the Cetrotide which apparently does not need to be refrigerated. That's a lot of Cetrotide!
The only disappointing thing about this was that the drugs and the inventory were all that was in the box. I had asked if the sharps bin came with the drugs and I was told in my original contact by email as well as over the phone that everything I needed would be included, but I'm sad to report it was not. On the other hand, I don't think it's that complicated to get a sharps bin (I'm fairly certain I can pick one up from a pharmacy or from my GP). It's just a small hassle that I wasn't expecting. In the grand scheme of things, it's fine. And I think it's probably an oversight or error since multiple people told me that it would be there.
I'm really not complaining all things considered.
So it's weird to have all the drugs again. It's still a month away and I've got a three week trip to the States that's going to happen in between now and then. Part of me is sort of looking forward to getting it started though, and part of me is looking forward to just getting it done.
08 April 2013
Reducing Drug Costs
I could have also called this post, "I won't do that again!" or "I wish I knew then what I know now!"
I have just received an estimate for drugs from Healthcare at Home for the drugs and I am blown away by the price difference. Now, just to be clear, my prescription is not quite for enough drugs so I don't 'over order' but let's compare. This was the previous drug breakdown from my first egg collection cycle:
This is what I was just (April 2013) quoted from Healthcare at Home:
Based on my previous cycle, this is two doses short of Gonal F and two doses short of Cetrotide- if my protocol lasts as long as my first. But lets be clear. This means my drugs would be almost 1/3 the cost of the drugs from the clinic!! That is a HUGE difference. Even if I have to order a couple extra doses, it will still be significantly cheaper, even with the delivery fee and credit card fee. I mean, I will be getting a Gonal F 900 pen for LESS than the cost of the clinic 450 pen!!
So this means if my previous projected cost for cycle 2 with no changes was £4471, my current projected cost for cycle 2 with the drugs listed above is £3384. Even if I have to purchase a Gonal F 450 pen and two more Cetrotide from my clinic (although why would I?) the projected cost will be £3628 for a total projected savings of £843. And if I do need extra drugs and buy them from Healthcare at Home then I will save a bit more (around £40 more based on the above costs) even with delivery and credit card fees, so still worth it!
Part of me is annoyed I didn't know to check this out for my first cycle. I'm also a tiny bit annoyed that my clinic never mentioned it, although obviously they make profit on selling the drugs, so I don't entirely fault them. To be honest although I think it would be a nice thing to do, it's really not their job to mention it- I didn't specifically ask if there was any way to reduce my costs either. However, I definitely know where I'll be getting my drugs from for cycle two. I need to get on with ordering them now as I'm out of the country for most of May and when I get back for the start of June it will be time for round two. But I'll keep updated here with my drug purchasing experience. So far Healthcare at Home has a huge endorsement from me (if you can't tell by my repeating their name and posting the link :) )
I have just received an estimate for drugs from Healthcare at Home for the drugs and I am blown away by the price difference. Now, just to be clear, my prescription is not quite for enough drugs so I don't 'over order' but let's compare. This was the previous drug breakdown from my first egg collection cycle:
| Drug | Cost |
| Gonal F 900 pen x3 (£360 each) | £1080 |
| Gonal F 450 pen | £180 |
| Cetrotide x12 (£32 each) | £384 |
| Ovitrelle single dose | £16 |
| Total Cost | £1660 |
This is what I was just (April 2013) quoted from Healthcare at Home:
| Drug | Cost |
| Gonal F 900 pen x3 (£142.56 each) | £427.68 |
| Cetrotide x10 (£10.80 each) | £108 |
| Ovitrelle single dose | £6.48 |
| Delivery Fee | £30 |
| Credit Card Fee | £11.44 |
| Total Cost | £583.60 |
Based on my previous cycle, this is two doses short of Gonal F and two doses short of Cetrotide- if my protocol lasts as long as my first. But lets be clear. This means my drugs would be almost 1/3 the cost of the drugs from the clinic!! That is a HUGE difference. Even if I have to order a couple extra doses, it will still be significantly cheaper, even with the delivery fee and credit card fee. I mean, I will be getting a Gonal F 900 pen for LESS than the cost of the clinic 450 pen!!
So this means if my previous projected cost for cycle 2 with no changes was £4471, my current projected cost for cycle 2 with the drugs listed above is £3384. Even if I have to purchase a Gonal F 450 pen and two more Cetrotide from my clinic (although why would I?) the projected cost will be £3628 for a total projected savings of £843. And if I do need extra drugs and buy them from Healthcare at Home then I will save a bit more (around £40 more based on the above costs) even with delivery and credit card fees, so still worth it!
Part of me is annoyed I didn't know to check this out for my first cycle. I'm also a tiny bit annoyed that my clinic never mentioned it, although obviously they make profit on selling the drugs, so I don't entirely fault them. To be honest although I think it would be a nice thing to do, it's really not their job to mention it- I didn't specifically ask if there was any way to reduce my costs either. However, I definitely know where I'll be getting my drugs from for cycle two. I need to get on with ordering them now as I'm out of the country for most of May and when I get back for the start of June it will be time for round two. But I'll keep updated here with my drug purchasing experience. So far Healthcare at Home has a huge endorsement from me (if you can't tell by my repeating their name and posting the link :) )
04 April 2013
Follow-Up Consultation
Today I had my fist meeting with the doctor since my collection. I am sad to report that I was charged for this visit. I feel that this is not ideal and that a single follow-up consultation should be standard with an egg collection procedure. But, you can't be pleased with everything. So the new update on costs is:
But it is what it is. Either I choose a different clinic, or I accept that this is how it is. Can't be pleased with everything. And overall I am really generally pleased. So I am going to stick with them.
So I saw my doctor today and we discussed how everything went and he did a scan to check on my ovary since I said that I could still feel it and I knew it had not gone back to normal size. I was of course concerned it was the cyst but I am happy to report that my cyst is still the same size as it was before and has not grown at all. On the other hand, my ovary is currently about twice it's normal size. The doctor said this was 'normal' and that it can take up to two period cycles for it to return to normal size. When stimulated it can be 7 or 8 times normal size. So my ovary has definitely 'gone down' but it's not all the way down yet. In keeping with this he suggested I stay away from impact exercise and twisting until I don't feel it anymore. I'm glad that I wasn't making it up that I still 'felt' the ovary and also glad I was taking it easy and not rushing back to the gym.
We discussed how the retrieval went. In the end there were 10 follicles and 6 had eggs and all 6 were mature. They can't tell you anything about the quality of those eggs. I asked if there was anything I could be doing now to help improve number or quality as there are many things talked about online. He said the only thing he suggested was that I consider some slow weight loss between now and my next procedure. That's fair. But he cautioned me it needs to be slow and steady, not a crash diet as that can negatively impact egg production or quality. So I need to be a bit more serious about seeing if I can lose 10-15 pounds in the next two months.
He said he felt the protocol was good and he didn't particularly want to change it. He said that as I only have the one ovary he didn't want to be too aggressive or risky because we want to protect the ovary as well. That seemed reasonable to me.
He gave me a prescription for my drugs and said they are happy for me to source them elsewhere if I can get them for cheaper, so that was good and I need to follow up with that over the next couple of weeks. He also said that my retrieval procedure was a bit tricky. That surprised me. I asked why and he said that my ovary moved around a lot during the retrieval. Apparently the dermoid cyst can make it wobbly or a bit less stable, or even float inside the gut, so apparently it wasn't exactly straightforward to retrieve my eggs.
So there you have it. I'll post more about drug pricing as I look into that. In the meantime I have 2 months to see if I can drop some weight. That's not going to be easy though if you consider I'm back in the States for 3 weeks in May. But I'll do the best I can.
| Previous total cost | £6876 |
| Follow-up consultation | £120 |
| Total cost to date | £6996 |
But it is what it is. Either I choose a different clinic, or I accept that this is how it is. Can't be pleased with everything. And overall I am really generally pleased. So I am going to stick with them.
So I saw my doctor today and we discussed how everything went and he did a scan to check on my ovary since I said that I could still feel it and I knew it had not gone back to normal size. I was of course concerned it was the cyst but I am happy to report that my cyst is still the same size as it was before and has not grown at all. On the other hand, my ovary is currently about twice it's normal size. The doctor said this was 'normal' and that it can take up to two period cycles for it to return to normal size. When stimulated it can be 7 or 8 times normal size. So my ovary has definitely 'gone down' but it's not all the way down yet. In keeping with this he suggested I stay away from impact exercise and twisting until I don't feel it anymore. I'm glad that I wasn't making it up that I still 'felt' the ovary and also glad I was taking it easy and not rushing back to the gym.
We discussed how the retrieval went. In the end there were 10 follicles and 6 had eggs and all 6 were mature. They can't tell you anything about the quality of those eggs. I asked if there was anything I could be doing now to help improve number or quality as there are many things talked about online. He said the only thing he suggested was that I consider some slow weight loss between now and my next procedure. That's fair. But he cautioned me it needs to be slow and steady, not a crash diet as that can negatively impact egg production or quality. So I need to be a bit more serious about seeing if I can lose 10-15 pounds in the next two months.
He said he felt the protocol was good and he didn't particularly want to change it. He said that as I only have the one ovary he didn't want to be too aggressive or risky because we want to protect the ovary as well. That seemed reasonable to me.
He gave me a prescription for my drugs and said they are happy for me to source them elsewhere if I can get them for cheaper, so that was good and I need to follow up with that over the next couple of weeks. He also said that my retrieval procedure was a bit tricky. That surprised me. I asked why and he said that my ovary moved around a lot during the retrieval. Apparently the dermoid cyst can make it wobbly or a bit less stable, or even float inside the gut, so apparently it wasn't exactly straightforward to retrieve my eggs.
So there you have it. I'll post more about drug pricing as I look into that. In the meantime I have 2 months to see if I can drop some weight. That's not going to be easy though if you consider I'm back in the States for 3 weeks in May. But I'll do the best I can.
29 March 2013
Costs
I know I promised I'd return with a cost break-down post. After a couple of weeks I have returned to do just that! But first some other house keeping.
My period came and went and I finally started to feel less bloated. It probably took a good 2 weeks before I started to think I felt "normal". However, I have noticed that I still sometimes feel my side where my ovary is. I have not had a follow-up appointment with my clinic (though I hope to arrange one next week). Part of me is concerned that my cysts somehow grew a lot and that's what I'm feeling. That seems slightly irrational, but I have no other way to understand why I feel "something" even when the rest of me feels normal.
I'm also slightly disappointed that my clinic did not mandate a follow-up appointment post retrieval. That seems poor form to me. I'm not sure if it was an oversight, or if it's standard, but I think follow up care is important. So I'll call that out as something that has not made me happy about my clinic. But, as I say, I'll try to get an appointment next week. Mainly because I need to discuss how to proceed with cycle 2 in June. So while I'm not thrilled with every aspect of my clinic, I'm also not unhappy enough to go elsewhere.
Now, on to costs.
A caveat.
After looking around at IVF blogs, it came to me that in the UK other people try to price their drugs cheaper at certain pharmacies. It may be that I could have gotten my drugs for less had I shopped around. My clinic did not suggest this to me, and it honestly did not occur to me. For my second cycle, I will try to shop around for cheaper drugs, and I will post about that here as I do it. However, below were the costs of my first cycle, using the drugs provided by the clinic, at the clinic cost. I had no left-over drugs at all, which I really appreciated.
So here are some quick facts:
My period came and went and I finally started to feel less bloated. It probably took a good 2 weeks before I started to think I felt "normal". However, I have noticed that I still sometimes feel my side where my ovary is. I have not had a follow-up appointment with my clinic (though I hope to arrange one next week). Part of me is concerned that my cysts somehow grew a lot and that's what I'm feeling. That seems slightly irrational, but I have no other way to understand why I feel "something" even when the rest of me feels normal.
I'm also slightly disappointed that my clinic did not mandate a follow-up appointment post retrieval. That seems poor form to me. I'm not sure if it was an oversight, or if it's standard, but I think follow up care is important. So I'll call that out as something that has not made me happy about my clinic. But, as I say, I'll try to get an appointment next week. Mainly because I need to discuss how to proceed with cycle 2 in June. So while I'm not thrilled with every aspect of my clinic, I'm also not unhappy enough to go elsewhere.
Now, on to costs.
A caveat.
After looking around at IVF blogs, it came to me that in the UK other people try to price their drugs cheaper at certain pharmacies. It may be that I could have gotten my drugs for less had I shopped around. My clinic did not suggest this to me, and it honestly did not occur to me. For my second cycle, I will try to shop around for cheaper drugs, and I will post about that here as I do it. However, below were the costs of my first cycle, using the drugs provided by the clinic, at the clinic cost. I had no left-over drugs at all, which I really appreciated.
| Service | Cost |
| Initial consultation and blood work | £490 |
| Norethisterone plus mail fee (£6) | £11 |
| STD Blood work | £115 |
| Gonal F 450 pen | £180 |
| Gonal F 900 pen | £360 |
| Cetrotide x4 | £128 |
| Egg Freezing Medical Cost | £2800 |
| Ten year storage (unused refundable) | £1800 |
| Gonal F 450 pen | £180 |
| Cetrotide x1 | £32 |
| Gonal F 450 pen | £180 |
| Cetrotide x3 | £96 |
| Gonal F 450 pen | £180 |
| Cetrotide x1 | £32 |
| Gonal F 450 pen | £180 |
| Cetrotide x3 | £96 |
| Ovitrelle single dose | £16 |
| Total Cost | £6876 |
So here are some quick facts:
- The 'egg freezing medical costs' included all of my clinic visits, all of my scans, and the retrieval procedure and associated drugs (including suppository)
- The initial consultation and the storage are one-off fees which I won't pay again. Total: £2290
- Total drug costs: £1671
- Projected cost of cycle 2 if no changes: £4471
25 February 2013
Day 16 - It's the Final Countdown
I can't believe I have taken my last shots of this cycle! I was very good about taking my two shots last night exactly on time. My last Cetrotide was at 7:01pm and my Ovitrelle was at 8:01pm. Go me.
And because it's something new, I also have some new pictures to share. First, there's the Ovitrelle. It needed to be kept in the fridge. I looked online and it seemed reasonable to believe that I could remove it from the fridge about 30 minutes before injection so it was less chilly. So I did. Here is the box:
Having removed it from the fridge 30 minutes before injecting, it wasn't noticeably cold in any way or uncomfortable compared to my other injections. Now, you might notice the air bubble that it comes with. I did ask the nurse and she said not to worry about the air bubble. That as the injection was subcutaneous, it doesn't matter. Air bubbles really only matter if they get into your veins. But I wasn't thrilled with the big air bubble so I did get rid of most of it before doing the injection although not all of it- as I didn't want to risk losing any of the injection itself. It went in no problem and then I was done:
I did think one thing interesting about this syringe was how it was sort of "all glass". The Cetrotide syringes had a plastic plunger. I thought this was actually a rather attractive sort of syringe. If such things can be viewed in any was as attractive. Anyway, I put the cover back on the needle and put my last bit of sharp into my sharps bin!
And so that's it really. The only thing left in my bag of tricks is the lovely suppository.
Oh yippee. It's funny to read some of the forums where people get all squeamish about suppositories. Honestly, you've been jabbing yourself with needles for two weeks and getting done by an ultrasound dildo every few days and you can't manage to pop something up your bum? I find this line of modesty sort of amusing. But in reality, that picture makes it look a bit invasive. Really, it's very tiny and I'm sure it will be no problem at all.
And so tomorrow I will have answers to questions that no one can answer for me. Today I am going to drink huge amounts of water and eat sensibly but light (I had a massive Sunday roast yesterday and ate red meat like it was going out of style). No food or drink after midnight- though I plan to be asleep by then. Then up bright and early to have a shower and then avoid putting on deodorant or anything else with a scent as instructed by my clinic, pop in the suppository, grab my sharps box, and get on public transport at 7:30 to be there for 8:30 for my procedure at 9am.
It's hard not to be hopeful. And simultaneously afraid of a bad result. It will be what it will be. There is nothing else I can do but wait and see. And I will update here when I am able. I still plan to travel up to Cambridge tomorrow night though, so we'll see how everything is going. It could all be panic stations around here just due to my life, as of now put on hold, resuming with force.
And because it's something new, I also have some new pictures to share. First, there's the Ovitrelle. It needed to be kept in the fridge. I looked online and it seemed reasonable to believe that I could remove it from the fridge about 30 minutes before injection so it was less chilly. So I did. Here is the box:
And here is what is inside the box. One pre-filled and ready-to-go syringe. Oh, and also there was a little instruction and information sheet, but it wasn't very useful or interesting so I didn't photograph that.
Having removed it from the fridge 30 minutes before injecting, it wasn't noticeably cold in any way or uncomfortable compared to my other injections. Now, you might notice the air bubble that it comes with. I did ask the nurse and she said not to worry about the air bubble. That as the injection was subcutaneous, it doesn't matter. Air bubbles really only matter if they get into your veins. But I wasn't thrilled with the big air bubble so I did get rid of most of it before doing the injection although not all of it- as I didn't want to risk losing any of the injection itself. It went in no problem and then I was done:
I did think one thing interesting about this syringe was how it was sort of "all glass". The Cetrotide syringes had a plastic plunger. I thought this was actually a rather attractive sort of syringe. If such things can be viewed in any was as attractive. Anyway, I put the cover back on the needle and put my last bit of sharp into my sharps bin!
So here you see it. The results of my first cycle of sharps. Pretty much filled the bin. you can see that it says not to fill above the line and I'd suggest that it was pretty much filled exactly to the line! This was mainly due to all of the extra and unused needles that come with the Gonal-F pens. Pretty wasteful, those. Anyway, I figure I will take this with me tomorrow morning to the clinic and give it to them for disposal so I got to lock down the lid!
And so that's it really. The only thing left in my bag of tricks is the lovely suppository.
Oh yippee. It's funny to read some of the forums where people get all squeamish about suppositories. Honestly, you've been jabbing yourself with needles for two weeks and getting done by an ultrasound dildo every few days and you can't manage to pop something up your bum? I find this line of modesty sort of amusing. But in reality, that picture makes it look a bit invasive. Really, it's very tiny and I'm sure it will be no problem at all.
And so tomorrow I will have answers to questions that no one can answer for me. Today I am going to drink huge amounts of water and eat sensibly but light (I had a massive Sunday roast yesterday and ate red meat like it was going out of style). No food or drink after midnight- though I plan to be asleep by then. Then up bright and early to have a shower and then avoid putting on deodorant or anything else with a scent as instructed by my clinic, pop in the suppository, grab my sharps box, and get on public transport at 7:30 to be there for 8:30 for my procedure at 9am.
It's hard not to be hopeful. And simultaneously afraid of a bad result. It will be what it will be. There is nothing else I can do but wait and see. And I will update here when I am able. I still plan to travel up to Cambridge tomorrow night though, so we'll see how everything is going. It could all be panic stations around here just due to my life, as of now put on hold, resuming with force.
24 February 2013
Days 14, 15
Last night was my last Gonal-F injection!! It was 187.5 as opposed to the 225 I've been taking for the rest of my cycle. And of course the Cetrotide. The past two days all of the injections have been pretty easy which has been nice. Today I have my last injections before egg collection. At 7pm I take the Cetrotide and then at 8pm I take the Ovitrelle that is waiting for me in the fridge. Monday- no shots! Then Tuesday morning I need to pop in a Voltarol suppository before heading to the clinic super early. The Voltarol is for pain relief and seems standard practice for some UK clinics according to forums on the internet.
I've arranged for my friend to be there by 10 and I imagine I should be able to leave by 11 at the latest. So the end is almost here. I can see it. I'm both nervous and excited. And I'm not going to lie, I'm also excited to get my life back for a couple of months where I'm not injecting myself every night and giving up alcohol and caffeine.
My right side where my ovary is feels a bit tight but honestly it's felt worse at different parts of this journey. I've been very careful to avoid twisting and I can't help worry about things like OHSS and what happens after egg collection, but by the time my period comes it should all be flushing away and reverting to normal.
It's easy to get wrapped up in this experience but I still find it challenging that the support and advice for egg freezing is just dwarfed by IVF. The issues are entirely different. I do find it useful to read IVF forums for understanding issues regarding the egg collection process, but all this DH this and BFN/P that- it's not relevant to my journey and in some ways highlights the wrong thing about this process as it only painfully reminds me that my life is not where I had hoped it would be at this point.
It's also interesting the responses I've had from different friends about what I'm doing. I have been reasonably open about telling friends of mine what I'm doing and the results have ranged from "That's amazing and you would make a great mother." to "Why would you do that?" to "Why don't you just get pregnant now?". The responses have not necessarily coordinated with the friends I thought they would have, either.
I'm not rushing in to any decisions. I just feel that this gives me an option I would otherwise be passing up. And I believe that it is a good idea and the right thing for me to be doing at this time. In addition, having lost an ovary already, it makes sense to try to preserve eggs from my remaining ovary which, as discussed already has a small cyst on it, because as I well know- anything can happen and then your choices can be taken away from you.
On the other hand, it puts into stark relief things about my life that have disappointed me. It forces me to consider things that I have not necessarily been considering. And I feel it is additionally challenging to be undertaking all of this alone without anyone to truly share 'the burden' of the harder thoughts with. Or just the stupid moments of having injections and sharps boxes.
It's part of the reason I made this blog, and have tried to find others. Or maybe I'm just someone who likes sharing. Anyway. Enough Sunday morning rambling! I will continue to keep this blog updated with the results of this cycle, any thoughts in between, and when I do the second cycle (which I am entirely assuming I will do as there is no reason at this point to think I won't) I'll return to it, though possibly not the day by day description that this first cycle has been. But as my doctor says, that's still a ways away. First things first!
Last day of shots today!! Woohoo!!
I've arranged for my friend to be there by 10 and I imagine I should be able to leave by 11 at the latest. So the end is almost here. I can see it. I'm both nervous and excited. And I'm not going to lie, I'm also excited to get my life back for a couple of months where I'm not injecting myself every night and giving up alcohol and caffeine.
My right side where my ovary is feels a bit tight but honestly it's felt worse at different parts of this journey. I've been very careful to avoid twisting and I can't help worry about things like OHSS and what happens after egg collection, but by the time my period comes it should all be flushing away and reverting to normal.
It's easy to get wrapped up in this experience but I still find it challenging that the support and advice for egg freezing is just dwarfed by IVF. The issues are entirely different. I do find it useful to read IVF forums for understanding issues regarding the egg collection process, but all this DH this and BFN/P that- it's not relevant to my journey and in some ways highlights the wrong thing about this process as it only painfully reminds me that my life is not where I had hoped it would be at this point.
It's also interesting the responses I've had from different friends about what I'm doing. I have been reasonably open about telling friends of mine what I'm doing and the results have ranged from "That's amazing and you would make a great mother." to "Why would you do that?" to "Why don't you just get pregnant now?". The responses have not necessarily coordinated with the friends I thought they would have, either.
I'm not rushing in to any decisions. I just feel that this gives me an option I would otherwise be passing up. And I believe that it is a good idea and the right thing for me to be doing at this time. In addition, having lost an ovary already, it makes sense to try to preserve eggs from my remaining ovary which, as discussed already has a small cyst on it, because as I well know- anything can happen and then your choices can be taken away from you.
On the other hand, it puts into stark relief things about my life that have disappointed me. It forces me to consider things that I have not necessarily been considering. And I feel it is additionally challenging to be undertaking all of this alone without anyone to truly share 'the burden' of the harder thoughts with. Or just the stupid moments of having injections and sharps boxes.
It's part of the reason I made this blog, and have tried to find others. Or maybe I'm just someone who likes sharing. Anyway. Enough Sunday morning rambling! I will continue to keep this blog updated with the results of this cycle, any thoughts in between, and when I do the second cycle (which I am entirely assuming I will do as there is no reason at this point to think I won't) I'll return to it, though possibly not the day by day description that this first cycle has been. But as my doctor says, that's still a ways away. First things first!
Last day of shots today!! Woohoo!!
22 February 2013
Day 13 - Scan
The end is in sight!
Had my scan this morning. The doctor said that Tuesday would really be better for collection as the goal is to have as many good eggs as possible and I do have some follicles lagging behind. I'm sure that I could question him for his reasoning and thinking, but as my IVF experienced friend said, "What is he going to tell you really except that this is what he thinks they should do based on all the other patients they've seen and the results they've had with different protocols?". It's true really. Whatever they say to me isn't going to be the magic pill that "promises" the prize. Either you trust your doctor, and the clinic, or you don't. So lesson of the day- be very happy with your clinic and doctor because that's really all you've got.
At any rate, he counted 13 follicles and there may have been a couple others. They are getting big! He suggested that I should be looking at 5-10 eggs. Of course there is a massive difference between 5 and 10. And there is absolutely nothing I can do about it except wait and see. Obviously I hope for 10 and I will be disappointed with 5 but it will be what it will be and lets just hope that it's not any less than that which is of course, also entirely possible.
So I have my final drugs now, and I need to be back at the clinic at 8:30am on Tuesday morning for my procedure at 9am and I might be able to go home by 10 and hopefully by 11.
Tonight, I'm on the same drugs as usual- Gonal-F at 225 and Cetrotide. Then tomorrow I do them again but the Gonal-F reduces (I have it written down- I think it's one eight something or other). Sunday at 7pm I take the Cetrotide and then at 8pm I do the Ovitrelle which came pre-packaged and is currently in my fridge waiting for me. Monday- no shots! Hooray! Before I head to the clinic on Tuesday morning, I take a suppository. I think it's a painkiller. I'm not sure, I'll need to double check, and I will post more about all that later.
This has of course prompted me to consider does the procedure actually hurt? It may sound stupid but it hadn't actually particularly occurred to me. Then of course I made the mistake of looking at the internet which is full of both sides- people in pain and people feeling nothing. Well, there just isn't any way to know what it's going to be like until it happens. I'd say my tolerance for pain can be pretty high, but I do tend to flinch. Hopefully I get enough sedation to just knock my ass out.
I've arranged for my friend to come meet me at the clinic and go home with me. It's all heading to the finish line now!
I did say to the doctor today that my ovary feels uncomfortable, my digestive system seems to be a mess, and I've been feeling particularly grumpy. He said it's all normal. At least I can be objective at the moment. The hormones haven't gotten that bad yet!!
Had my scan this morning. The doctor said that Tuesday would really be better for collection as the goal is to have as many good eggs as possible and I do have some follicles lagging behind. I'm sure that I could question him for his reasoning and thinking, but as my IVF experienced friend said, "What is he going to tell you really except that this is what he thinks they should do based on all the other patients they've seen and the results they've had with different protocols?". It's true really. Whatever they say to me isn't going to be the magic pill that "promises" the prize. Either you trust your doctor, and the clinic, or you don't. So lesson of the day- be very happy with your clinic and doctor because that's really all you've got.
At any rate, he counted 13 follicles and there may have been a couple others. They are getting big! He suggested that I should be looking at 5-10 eggs. Of course there is a massive difference between 5 and 10. And there is absolutely nothing I can do about it except wait and see. Obviously I hope for 10 and I will be disappointed with 5 but it will be what it will be and lets just hope that it's not any less than that which is of course, also entirely possible.
So I have my final drugs now, and I need to be back at the clinic at 8:30am on Tuesday morning for my procedure at 9am and I might be able to go home by 10 and hopefully by 11.
Tonight, I'm on the same drugs as usual- Gonal-F at 225 and Cetrotide. Then tomorrow I do them again but the Gonal-F reduces (I have it written down- I think it's one eight something or other). Sunday at 7pm I take the Cetrotide and then at 8pm I do the Ovitrelle which came pre-packaged and is currently in my fridge waiting for me. Monday- no shots! Hooray! Before I head to the clinic on Tuesday morning, I take a suppository. I think it's a painkiller. I'm not sure, I'll need to double check, and I will post more about all that later.
This has of course prompted me to consider does the procedure actually hurt? It may sound stupid but it hadn't actually particularly occurred to me. Then of course I made the mistake of looking at the internet which is full of both sides- people in pain and people feeling nothing. Well, there just isn't any way to know what it's going to be like until it happens. I'd say my tolerance for pain can be pretty high, but I do tend to flinch. Hopefully I get enough sedation to just knock my ass out.
I've arranged for my friend to come meet me at the clinic and go home with me. It's all heading to the finish line now!
I did say to the doctor today that my ovary feels uncomfortable, my digestive system seems to be a mess, and I've been feeling particularly grumpy. He said it's all normal. At least I can be objective at the moment. The hormones haven't gotten that bad yet!!
20 February 2013
Day 11 - Scan
So I had a scan this morning with a different doctor. All going well. I saw her count ten follicles and I saw a few more she didn't count. She said it was good that they were mostly growing uniformly- that there weren't one or two 'ahead of the pack' in terms of growth which is good. I guess they try to generally measure only the biggest ones. She said they were also growing at a regular and steady and desirable rate. So that was also all good. The sad news is she said my collection could be Monday or even Tuesday. It just keeps getting pushed further away!! Ugh! I hate the waiting!!!
Also this means I need to try to rearrange my "support" person as the person I had lined up is only free Thursday and Friday. I think I've arranged someone though, so that's good.
I'm staying on the same dose of Gonal-F (225) plus the Cetrotide.
I asked if I was at any risk of OSHH. The doctor told me that she didn't think so- especially as I had only one ovary. If I had two ovaries, then maybe. I thought this was interesting as I haven't seen anything about OHSS risks being reduced by having one ovary, but hey, I'll take it.
I learned the leftover injection pen and vials can go directly into the trash. I'm not sure I 100% believe this, but the nurse said that they just put it all in regular trash so I can put it in my trash at home. So I guess I will, even though it feels vaguely wrong.
Also, I learned that the clinic does see patients on the weekend for procedures- but they don't do scans and regular consultations on the weekend. That seemed reasonable.
I definitely feel a tightness or pressure on my right side where my ovary is. It's mildly annoying but not painful. I can't say I've really had any other side effects that I've noticed. I have some mild bruising across my belly from all the shots, but it's not that bad, and not painful.
Just back to shots and waiting...
Also this means I need to try to rearrange my "support" person as the person I had lined up is only free Thursday and Friday. I think I've arranged someone though, so that's good.
I'm staying on the same dose of Gonal-F (225) plus the Cetrotide.
I asked if I was at any risk of OSHH. The doctor told me that she didn't think so- especially as I had only one ovary. If I had two ovaries, then maybe. I thought this was interesting as I haven't seen anything about OHSS risks being reduced by having one ovary, but hey, I'll take it.
I learned the leftover injection pen and vials can go directly into the trash. I'm not sure I 100% believe this, but the nurse said that they just put it all in regular trash so I can put it in my trash at home. So I guess I will, even though it feels vaguely wrong.
Also, I learned that the clinic does see patients on the weekend for procedures- but they don't do scans and regular consultations on the weekend. That seemed reasonable.
I definitely feel a tightness or pressure on my right side where my ovary is. It's mildly annoying but not painful. I can't say I've really had any other side effects that I've noticed. I have some mild bruising across my belly from all the shots, but it's not that bad, and not painful.
Just back to shots and waiting...
18 February 2013
Day 9 - Scan
Back from the doctor, had a good chat with him about the whole cyst thing. He showed me how a (my) dermoid cyst looks a lot like the bowel. Because my dermoid cyst is very small, it can be difficult to spot. It is able to seen now because the ovary is enlarged. It "moves" with the ovary. But, when the ovary is smaller it can be hard to see from the surrounding gut. He reiterated that it's very small and nothing to be concerned about. So I feel much better about all of that.
On to more exciting news! Follicles! Now I see from reading other blogs that people get measurements on their follicles and I don't know what mine are. So I can't say if I have good size ones or not. I know they are growing though, because the doctor says so! However, they are growing slowly. So instead of collection being Thursday or Friday this week, I may be looking at Monday. Which frankly, sort of sucks. But I'm going in for another scan on Wednesday and then again on Friday. So this is going to be a very busy week for my vagina. :)
I was careful to count the follicles he was measuring- so he measured 8 but he didn't measure a bunch that were on the other side. So I counted ten or eleven follicles. Obviously some are bigger than others. Anyway, from everything I can gather, this seems like a good foundation. So I'm excited. I just now wish the little eggs would mature faster!
Obviously I'll find out more on Wednesday. Unfortunately I don't see my regular doctor but I'll see another doctor in the clinic. Although I'm not concerned about that. I'm scheduled to see my regular doctor again on Friday. I have this sneaking suspicion that perhaps they aren't open over the weekend? I hope that's not the case as it would upset me to think that my collection is predicated on what is best for the doctor's schedule and not what's best for my body when I'm paying a lot of money for this. But that's me making a gross assumption. I'll not worry about that until Wednesday, when I'll try to glean more.
Oh, also, this longer stimulation time is a little bit annoying on the budget. At this rate I'm going to be paying an extra 50-60% for the expensive drugs because I'm going more days than I thought. In the grand scheme of things, it's okay, but it's a little bit annoying and I wasn't necessarily prepared for that length of extension. I'm figuring it will be an extra £600 (~$900) per cycle. Across two cycles, it's something to think about. But hey-ho, in for a penny in for a pound!
Oh yeah, last thing- when I asked about the break between cycles the doctor said that after collection my period would hopefully come around the 11th of March. Then April, then May, and THEN I could consider the next cycle. So assuming everything goes as planned, my second cycle will be June. Which gives me a good amount of time to relax and have fun in between. Of course the doctor says to me "One step at a time!". But I am a busy person and I need to schedule!!
Tonight, the further adventures of the human pin-cushion. I'm still staying on Gonal-F at 225 with the Cetrotide.
On to more exciting news! Follicles! Now I see from reading other blogs that people get measurements on their follicles and I don't know what mine are. So I can't say if I have good size ones or not. I know they are growing though, because the doctor says so! However, they are growing slowly. So instead of collection being Thursday or Friday this week, I may be looking at Monday. Which frankly, sort of sucks. But I'm going in for another scan on Wednesday and then again on Friday. So this is going to be a very busy week for my vagina. :)
I was careful to count the follicles he was measuring- so he measured 8 but he didn't measure a bunch that were on the other side. So I counted ten or eleven follicles. Obviously some are bigger than others. Anyway, from everything I can gather, this seems like a good foundation. So I'm excited. I just now wish the little eggs would mature faster!
Obviously I'll find out more on Wednesday. Unfortunately I don't see my regular doctor but I'll see another doctor in the clinic. Although I'm not concerned about that. I'm scheduled to see my regular doctor again on Friday. I have this sneaking suspicion that perhaps they aren't open over the weekend? I hope that's not the case as it would upset me to think that my collection is predicated on what is best for the doctor's schedule and not what's best for my body when I'm paying a lot of money for this. But that's me making a gross assumption. I'll not worry about that until Wednesday, when I'll try to glean more.
Oh, also, this longer stimulation time is a little bit annoying on the budget. At this rate I'm going to be paying an extra 50-60% for the expensive drugs because I'm going more days than I thought. In the grand scheme of things, it's okay, but it's a little bit annoying and I wasn't necessarily prepared for that length of extension. I'm figuring it will be an extra £600 (~$900) per cycle. Across two cycles, it's something to think about. But hey-ho, in for a penny in for a pound!
Oh yeah, last thing- when I asked about the break between cycles the doctor said that after collection my period would hopefully come around the 11th of March. Then April, then May, and THEN I could consider the next cycle. So assuming everything goes as planned, my second cycle will be June. Which gives me a good amount of time to relax and have fun in between. Of course the doctor says to me "One step at a time!". But I am a busy person and I need to schedule!!
Tonight, the further adventures of the human pin-cushion. I'm still staying on Gonal-F at 225 with the Cetrotide.
17 February 2013
Day 7 & 8
Missed a day of posting because yesterday was a horrible disaster. Nothing to do with the egg freezing mind you. More to do with a friend of mine getting attacked and mugged on my doorstep. This would have been bad enough, but it was followed by a car with shot people in it coming to find the police for help (who were obviously at my flat) and then a million police showing up to deal with that, while I was left to deal with my traumatized friend before the police got around to coming back to her.
On top of which, this incident has pushed my flatmate over the edge. She just got home having left the house in a panic yesterday night after the excitement. I'm fully expecting her to give me notice that she's moving out, but as it is, she clearly isn't talking to me. Charming.
So yeah... injections.
Last night they were about an hour late. Tonight I got them done on time. I'm looking forward to my scan tomorrow. My right side is definitely feeling tight and bloated. I'm finding it hard to regain my 'happy place' of thoughts with all of this bloody drama going on. I mean you have got to be kidding me!! But I'm not freaking out, so that's good. Definitely looking forward to the scan and talking to the doctor tomorrow. It's not until the afternoon, but that's okay.
I hope for some good follicle news and a better idea of collection day so I can arrange for my friend to come with me. Getting close now!!
If only there wasn't all this outside stress now to also contend with.... I'm not sure how much positive vibes and calmness help with follicles and eggs or how much stress and agitation may hurt follicles and eggs. All I know is- it is on it's own a somewhat stressful thing to undertake. It's a shame that my life at the moment is adding to it in a negative way!
Tomorrow is another day.
On top of which, this incident has pushed my flatmate over the edge. She just got home having left the house in a panic yesterday night after the excitement. I'm fully expecting her to give me notice that she's moving out, but as it is, she clearly isn't talking to me. Charming.
So yeah... injections.
Last night they were about an hour late. Tonight I got them done on time. I'm looking forward to my scan tomorrow. My right side is definitely feeling tight and bloated. I'm finding it hard to regain my 'happy place' of thoughts with all of this bloody drama going on. I mean you have got to be kidding me!! But I'm not freaking out, so that's good. Definitely looking forward to the scan and talking to the doctor tomorrow. It's not until the afternoon, but that's okay.
I hope for some good follicle news and a better idea of collection day so I can arrange for my friend to come with me. Getting close now!!
If only there wasn't all this outside stress now to also contend with.... I'm not sure how much positive vibes and calmness help with follicles and eggs or how much stress and agitation may hurt follicles and eggs. All I know is- it is on it's own a somewhat stressful thing to undertake. It's a shame that my life at the moment is adding to it in a negative way!
Tomorrow is another day.
16 February 2013
Day 6 - Shots
Just a quick one on the shots last night. Again I was a little bit late so I just wanted to get home and get it done. I was still just trying to get my mind in the right place after the panic. I am also going to guess that my reaction to the cyst was maybe due to all these hormones I'm taking? At any rate, I just thought I'd have a nice calm night of doing my injections and going to bed.
So first I finished off that 900 Gonal-F pen which kept sticking at 25. I was careful to ensure it pressed the entire way down for the last dose and did not get stuck on 25 so that was good. Then I went to mix up the Cetrotide. Did all the steps, ready to go, get the needle in (and it was a bit pokey in the place I selected), I look down and realize I didn't expel the air bubble! Ugh!
So I had to withdraw the needle which now had a bit of blood on it and blood welling up (because I picked a pokey spot). I slowly expelled the air bubble which also meant a little bit of blood that was in the needle tip came out. I wiped it with the alcohol wipe and let it dry and didn't let it touch anything else and when the air was gone I picked a new spot and did the injection.
You think you're just getting to be good at all this stuff and then oops! At least I caught it.
I'm starting to feel a bit of "tightness" in my right side (where the ovary is). It's not pain or even twinges, but more like a small fullness. It's interesting of course because I can compare the two sides as one has no ovary and I can tell a difference. Or maybe I'm just getting a little bloated. To be fair, none of it is particularly bothersome. And other than yesterdays breakdown in tears, I can't say I've noticed any side effects in particular. Although I still have five or six days to go... I tell you what. I'm already looking forward to my "down time" between cycles. The one thing I am starting to feel is just a bit stressed again. I just want to get to the end and know how it's going to go (and really know if this was all worth it)!!
So first I finished off that 900 Gonal-F pen which kept sticking at 25. I was careful to ensure it pressed the entire way down for the last dose and did not get stuck on 25 so that was good. Then I went to mix up the Cetrotide. Did all the steps, ready to go, get the needle in (and it was a bit pokey in the place I selected), I look down and realize I didn't expel the air bubble! Ugh!
So I had to withdraw the needle which now had a bit of blood on it and blood welling up (because I picked a pokey spot). I slowly expelled the air bubble which also meant a little bit of blood that was in the needle tip came out. I wiped it with the alcohol wipe and let it dry and didn't let it touch anything else and when the air was gone I picked a new spot and did the injection.
You think you're just getting to be good at all this stuff and then oops! At least I caught it.
I'm starting to feel a bit of "tightness" in my right side (where the ovary is). It's not pain or even twinges, but more like a small fullness. It's interesting of course because I can compare the two sides as one has no ovary and I can tell a difference. Or maybe I'm just getting a little bloated. To be fair, none of it is particularly bothersome. And other than yesterdays breakdown in tears, I can't say I've noticed any side effects in particular. Although I still have five or six days to go... I tell you what. I'm already looking forward to my "down time" between cycles. The one thing I am starting to feel is just a bit stressed again. I just want to get to the end and know how it's going to go (and really know if this was all worth it)!!
15 February 2013
14 February 2013
Day 5
I have two tiny circular bruises on me from the shots. The biggest and darkest is actually from my very first shot. They seem more likely to bruise if they well up with blood when the needle is removed. To be fair, I don't have that many dots on me having now given myself a total of 8 injections. Maybe half have been followed by a blood dot? Oh yeah, in other news I was talking to a friend who did many IVF cycles and she said that she had been told to stay within a two inch radius of the belly button and not to go out to the sides. Which could have explained why the shot I did further to the side hurt more. So sticking closer to the belly button it is!
I did the Gonal-F first again tonight. I was holding it in for the ten seconds and then I moved my thumb and saw it was stuck on 25 again! So I moved my hand and pushed the plunger more firmly and the last 'click' went and the rest of the drug went in. Now I know what happened yesterday. Which makes me feel better about doing the second injection of 25- it was the right thing to do. Today though, I got it all in, albeit after a bit of a pause.
Anyway, on to the Cetrotide. Today with pictures! So first, out of the box we have a sealed container, and an info booklet. Peeling off the top of the sealed container we have two alcohol wipes, two needles, a pre-filled syringe, and a vial of the Cetrotide in powder form. Let me preface this gallery by saying that if you are going to take Cetrotide, make sure you read and follow the instructions that come with it fully- this is an abbreviated version and is no substitute for correct medical advice.
Now they say that it dissolves instantly. But then it says if it doesn't all dissolve you can swirl it gently. They say not to shake it as that adds air bubbles. As you can see from the photo on the left, it really doesn't dissolve cleanly. It takes quite a bit of swirling and scraping at the bits stuck to the bottom with the needle. And some tapping on the side of the vial. It's really a matter of being patient. It does get there eventually, even if I did get a few air bubbles in it (as shown in image on the right) but some gentle tapping sorts those out.
The part that I didn't show is how you are supposed to turn the vial upside down, draw down the needle so it's just in, and then suck up all the liquid. This is not so easy. You don't want to withdraw the needle, and you want to get all the liquid, and not fill up the syringe with air. Again, I think it's more about patience. Taking your time, and if you get too much air, pushing that back so you have space to try to get the rest of the liquid. I managed to get pretty much all of it eventually, as well as a bunch of air. So then I swapped out the big nasty needle for the injection needle (as shown below) and slowly pressed the plunger until the tiniest bit of liquid was visible on the tip. Ready to inject, and so I did.
Next scan is early tomorrow morning. I need to get myself to bed to get up early to get across town to the clinic. I'll be getting more drugs tomorrow as I only have enough Gonal-F left for one more injection at 225 and 2 more Cetrotide boxes. I will definitely be asking about when possible collection day is going to be. Lets hope everything has been continuing in the right direction. I continue to oscillate between being hopeful and being terrified there won't be anything out of this. Useless, I know. And I try not to do it, but I don't see how it can possibly be completely avoided.
I did the Gonal-F first again tonight. I was holding it in for the ten seconds and then I moved my thumb and saw it was stuck on 25 again! So I moved my hand and pushed the plunger more firmly and the last 'click' went and the rest of the drug went in. Now I know what happened yesterday. Which makes me feel better about doing the second injection of 25- it was the right thing to do. Today though, I got it all in, albeit after a bit of a pause.
Anyway, on to the Cetrotide. Today with pictures! So first, out of the box we have a sealed container, and an info booklet. Peeling off the top of the sealed container we have two alcohol wipes, two needles, a pre-filled syringe, and a vial of the Cetrotide in powder form. Let me preface this gallery by saying that if you are going to take Cetrotide, make sure you read and follow the instructions that come with it fully- this is an abbreviated version and is no substitute for correct medical advice.
Right. The first thing you do is get the little vial of the powder, remove the blue cap, and wipe it down with one of the alcohol wipes. You can see when the blue cap is removed it exposes a rubber stopper end where you will insert the needle.
Next, you attach the big (yellow ended) needle to the syringe. On a hard surface, you insert the needle into the rubber stopper and then depress the plunger to add all the liquid in the pre-filled syringe into the vial.
Now they say that it dissolves instantly. But then it says if it doesn't all dissolve you can swirl it gently. They say not to shake it as that adds air bubbles. As you can see from the photo on the left, it really doesn't dissolve cleanly. It takes quite a bit of swirling and scraping at the bits stuck to the bottom with the needle. And some tapping on the side of the vial. It's really a matter of being patient. It does get there eventually, even if I did get a few air bubbles in it (as shown in image on the right) but some gentle tapping sorts those out.
The part that I didn't show is how you are supposed to turn the vial upside down, draw down the needle so it's just in, and then suck up all the liquid. This is not so easy. You don't want to withdraw the needle, and you want to get all the liquid, and not fill up the syringe with air. Again, I think it's more about patience. Taking your time, and if you get too much air, pushing that back so you have space to try to get the rest of the liquid. I managed to get pretty much all of it eventually, as well as a bunch of air. So then I swapped out the big nasty needle for the injection needle (as shown below) and slowly pressed the plunger until the tiniest bit of liquid was visible on the tip. Ready to inject, and so I did.
Next scan is early tomorrow morning. I need to get myself to bed to get up early to get across town to the clinic. I'll be getting more drugs tomorrow as I only have enough Gonal-F left for one more injection at 225 and 2 more Cetrotide boxes. I will definitely be asking about when possible collection day is going to be. Lets hope everything has been continuing in the right direction. I continue to oscillate between being hopeful and being terrified there won't be anything out of this. Useless, I know. And I try not to do it, but I don't see how it can possibly be completely avoided.
Day 4 - Scan Day
Today's entry is in two parts. First, the scan.
Today I had my first scan after 3 days of injections. I could see the screen as he looked at my ovary and measured the little follicles that were there. I counted about 7 or so. Two were clearly bigger, which I assume is a good thing. I will never get used to the UK doctor approach which is basically not very talkative. I prefer the continual information dump and running commentary approach. I suppose it's in part what I'm used to, but you know, I like to be included in my medical health discussion. Not that I have any complaints at all about the clinic- or the doctor for that matter. As when I ask him stuff, he is happy to answer and discuss with me. It's just that I need to ask, it doesn't happen automatically, and I find it a little bit weird.
So as I say, I saw him measuring all the little follicles. I sort of lost count, I swear he measured some of the same ones twice. But he was also very quick. It was definitely more than 5 although some were small. So he said I should stay on the same dose of the Gonal-F (225) and tonight I also add the Cetrotide. My next scan is Friday morning. He didn't see any cysts (which is good). He said it all looked like what he'd like to see so far (without being particularly descriptive about what it is he likes to see). He said that the trick is that they wouldn't want to overstimulate the ovary- you don't want 20 follicles on one ovary. But that a good response would hopefully see me get 10. If I actually got 10 eggs (and if those could all be frozen) that would be superb, because two cycles would give me the magic number of 20. I'm not sure I'll actually get 10 freezable eggs, but the closer I can get to that number the better.
It's kind of crazy to think I'm just back there in less than 2 days, but the more scans, the more information, the more care and looking at I'm getting, then the better as far as I can tell. So like I said, I'm very pleased with the clinic so far really. Oh, they said that my unused needles should all go in the sharps bin and that any unused medicine or medicine containers I can bring in and they can dispose of. So that was good to know. Although today they took the unused needles in the Gonal-F box, even though they say on their handout that they don't take unused needles not in a sharps bin. I don't think it was a big deal really.
I'm writing this in a cafe just now. I'll return to it later tonight when I discuss my shots. The regular Gonal-F and the new part of the regimen, mixing my own Cetrotide.
Okay, I wrote that part before and I'm picking up this post where I left off. My intention had been to take pictures and post about the mixing but I got home late so I just wanted to get the shots done to stay close to my schedule. I took the Gonal-F about 45 minutes after my 24 hour time and the Cetrotide about 15 minutes after that. All within reason to be fair, but I was just conscious about getting it done.
And what an annoyance last night was! First, I did the Gonal-F. I figured I had it down, I understood what I was doing, and it's easy. So I prep, I measure, I inject, I wait ten seconds, take the pen out.... and it says 25 left in the black window. Crap! If it has a number left it means you didn't take the full injection. But I did depress the plunger all the way (or so I thought). So I was first annoyed, then worried, then I just decided to give myself the 25 with a new needle. So I did that and it definitely went to 0. But it was an extra little bit of bother when I was already just trying to get it done! Ugh! Also, two pin pricks. Double ugh!
Or, make that three pin pricks. Because I had to mix up the Cetrotide. This was more complicated than I thought it was going to be. I will take a picture of the box set up hopefully for day 5 and post more about the mixing. Needless to say, there were a number of steps, it didn't all dissolve straight away so I kept trying to mix it without shaking it (as that adds air bubbles). Getting it back into the syringe was also not 'obvious' and I got a bit of air in there and I'm not convinced I got 100% of the drug back in the needle (although I did get most of it) and then I had to do yet another injection although that went fine when I finally got to that point, I was just glad to get it done!
Now my next scan is first thing Friday morning. I look forward to getting more information on how this is all going. It would be good to have an idea of what day collection might be for- as I need to figure out who I know that can come with me. If it's Thursday or Friday I have someone but if it's Wednesday, I might be on my own. I think that's the only shitty thing about this whole exercise- is really being on your own. It's part of the reason I don't find as much help from the IVF blogs- they're all with partners, they have different objectives, it's really a different sort of procedure and expectation. Egg freezing is similar, but it's different. I wish more women were sharing their stories!!
Today I had my first scan after 3 days of injections. I could see the screen as he looked at my ovary and measured the little follicles that were there. I counted about 7 or so. Two were clearly bigger, which I assume is a good thing. I will never get used to the UK doctor approach which is basically not very talkative. I prefer the continual information dump and running commentary approach. I suppose it's in part what I'm used to, but you know, I like to be included in my medical health discussion. Not that I have any complaints at all about the clinic- or the doctor for that matter. As when I ask him stuff, he is happy to answer and discuss with me. It's just that I need to ask, it doesn't happen automatically, and I find it a little bit weird.
So as I say, I saw him measuring all the little follicles. I sort of lost count, I swear he measured some of the same ones twice. But he was also very quick. It was definitely more than 5 although some were small. So he said I should stay on the same dose of the Gonal-F (225) and tonight I also add the Cetrotide. My next scan is Friday morning. He didn't see any cysts (which is good). He said it all looked like what he'd like to see so far (without being particularly descriptive about what it is he likes to see). He said that the trick is that they wouldn't want to overstimulate the ovary- you don't want 20 follicles on one ovary. But that a good response would hopefully see me get 10. If I actually got 10 eggs (and if those could all be frozen) that would be superb, because two cycles would give me the magic number of 20. I'm not sure I'll actually get 10 freezable eggs, but the closer I can get to that number the better.
It's kind of crazy to think I'm just back there in less than 2 days, but the more scans, the more information, the more care and looking at I'm getting, then the better as far as I can tell. So like I said, I'm very pleased with the clinic so far really. Oh, they said that my unused needles should all go in the sharps bin and that any unused medicine or medicine containers I can bring in and they can dispose of. So that was good to know. Although today they took the unused needles in the Gonal-F box, even though they say on their handout that they don't take unused needles not in a sharps bin. I don't think it was a big deal really.
I'm writing this in a cafe just now. I'll return to it later tonight when I discuss my shots. The regular Gonal-F and the new part of the regimen, mixing my own Cetrotide.
Okay, I wrote that part before and I'm picking up this post where I left off. My intention had been to take pictures and post about the mixing but I got home late so I just wanted to get the shots done to stay close to my schedule. I took the Gonal-F about 45 minutes after my 24 hour time and the Cetrotide about 15 minutes after that. All within reason to be fair, but I was just conscious about getting it done.
And what an annoyance last night was! First, I did the Gonal-F. I figured I had it down, I understood what I was doing, and it's easy. So I prep, I measure, I inject, I wait ten seconds, take the pen out.... and it says 25 left in the black window. Crap! If it has a number left it means you didn't take the full injection. But I did depress the plunger all the way (or so I thought). So I was first annoyed, then worried, then I just decided to give myself the 25 with a new needle. So I did that and it definitely went to 0. But it was an extra little bit of bother when I was already just trying to get it done! Ugh! Also, two pin pricks. Double ugh!
Or, make that three pin pricks. Because I had to mix up the Cetrotide. This was more complicated than I thought it was going to be. I will take a picture of the box set up hopefully for day 5 and post more about the mixing. Needless to say, there were a number of steps, it didn't all dissolve straight away so I kept trying to mix it without shaking it (as that adds air bubbles). Getting it back into the syringe was also not 'obvious' and I got a bit of air in there and I'm not convinced I got 100% of the drug back in the needle (although I did get most of it) and then I had to do yet another injection although that went fine when I finally got to that point, I was just glad to get it done!
Now my next scan is first thing Friday morning. I look forward to getting more information on how this is all going. It would be good to have an idea of what day collection might be for- as I need to figure out who I know that can come with me. If it's Thursday or Friday I have someone but if it's Wednesday, I might be on my own. I think that's the only shitty thing about this whole exercise- is really being on your own. It's part of the reason I don't find as much help from the IVF blogs- they're all with partners, they have different objectives, it's really a different sort of procedure and expectation. Egg freezing is similar, but it's different. I wish more women were sharing their stories!!
07 February 2013
First Drugs
So now I'm just waiting for my period...
In the meantime I thought I'd put up what I got from the doctor. They had it all ready for me in a blue plastic bag. This is probably about half of the drugs (or a bit less) than I will actually need. I appreciate that they are only giving me what I need. I've read some blogs where people were encouraged to buy all the drugs up front and of course they may adjust the dose so then you have left-over very very expensive drugs. You're looking at over £600 of drugs and equipment here ($900).
To give you some idea of size, that paper on top is A3 (11x17). I felt like a serious junkie on my way home from the clinic! I will post more pictures as I go through the process. I don't know. It helps me feel calm and collected to document the process. The first thing I'll be taking is the Gonal-F on the second day of my period.
For the love of... I'm not computer illiterate! I don't know why it insists on rotating this photo. I give up. So anyway, these are two injection pens. I'll give more details when I open my first box. Probably the 450 box. I'm starting on a 225 dose, so the first pen will have 2 doses. The second 900 pen has 4 doses. But they may lower the dose after my next scan which should be on day 4 of injections. On day 4 I also start the Cetrotide which is the one that came with the instruction sheet because I have to mix it. That is always the same dose, so each box is a single dose with everything you need to mix it up. Again, more on that as it happens.
But the thing that really made me feel the most like a druggie? The sharps bin. Here you can see the place for my needles... and the top of my instruction schedule. The nurse was very careful to tell me that as it's shown there it's 'closed' but if I push it the whole way, it will lock. So don't do that. Of course I need to travel around with this thing and I'm thinking, if it doesn't close, can't things fall out of it??? I'll just have to pack it carefully.
Now on with the waiting for my period... honestly. It's worse than being a 12 year old girl!
In the meantime I thought I'd put up what I got from the doctor. They had it all ready for me in a blue plastic bag. This is probably about half of the drugs (or a bit less) than I will actually need. I appreciate that they are only giving me what I need. I've read some blogs where people were encouraged to buy all the drugs up front and of course they may adjust the dose so then you have left-over very very expensive drugs. You're looking at over £600 of drugs and equipment here ($900).
To give you some idea of size, that paper on top is A3 (11x17). I felt like a serious junkie on my way home from the clinic! I will post more pictures as I go through the process. I don't know. It helps me feel calm and collected to document the process. The first thing I'll be taking is the Gonal-F on the second day of my period.
For the love of... I'm not computer illiterate! I don't know why it insists on rotating this photo. I give up. So anyway, these are two injection pens. I'll give more details when I open my first box. Probably the 450 box. I'm starting on a 225 dose, so the first pen will have 2 doses. The second 900 pen has 4 doses. But they may lower the dose after my next scan which should be on day 4 of injections. On day 4 I also start the Cetrotide which is the one that came with the instruction sheet because I have to mix it. That is always the same dose, so each box is a single dose with everything you need to mix it up. Again, more on that as it happens.
But the thing that really made me feel the most like a druggie? The sharps bin. Here you can see the place for my needles... and the top of my instruction schedule. The nurse was very careful to tell me that as it's shown there it's 'closed' but if I push it the whole way, it will lock. So don't do that. Of course I need to travel around with this thing and I'm thinking, if it doesn't close, can't things fall out of it??? I'll just have to pack it carefully.
Now on with the waiting for my period... honestly. It's worse than being a 12 year old girl!
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