Had my last scan of this cycle this morning. Retrieval is scheduled for Tuesday. This means I'll be taking my trigger shot Sunday night which will be day 14. This is identical to my last cycle, and one day ahead of my first cycle.
This morning I woke up with a horrible lower back pain on the side of my ovary. I'm sure the enlarged ovary isn't helping any because I also feel pretty bloated in the stomach now, but the truth is, I get my fair share of lower back pain so I wasn't overly alarmed. I was annoyed though because what I usually do when I have this pain is some yoga stretching which is mostly spinal twisting. Given that twisting is a big no-no with an enlarged ovary, I've been suffering back pain all day now. It's not very nice. And of course I can't take any pain killers either. Ugh.
Saw the director of the clinic again this time as my normal doctor was fully booked. I've seen him once already this cycle so I didn't mind too much, although I would probably prefer to see the same doctor throughout. He had a good look and measure of the follicles and the ovary (I think because I also mentioned the back pain). Apparently everything is growing at pretty much an identical pace to the previous cycles so I suppose it's good that I'm reasonably reliable.
He counted six good sized follicles with a couple more behind, so that was good. I was watching the scan as he looked and it was difficult to tell sometimes where one started and another stopped. When they are side by side it's easy, but when they're on top of each other it's not as clear. At any rate, it looks like I have a bit more follicles than last cycle, although obviously they may not all contain eggs. I also have three more days of stimulating. So hopefully it will all go as previous and I get a reasonable number of eggs.
So having the retrieval day, my next order of business was to find someone to collect me from the clinic. I still think this is one of the more demoralizing aspects to egg freezing. My collection is on a Tuesday morning. So I have to ask someone to take off work to meet me. I don't have a partner where it would sort of be their obligation. It's not always easy. I've was pretty lucky the first two cycles but this one wasn't so easy. I had to call and email a few people before I finally found someone who could do it. I had talked to the receptionist about if I really couldn't find anyone and I did have a back-up plan to take a taxi home. It would have worked out either way, but I guess what I'm saying is, it's not nice to feel alone in the midst of this. It's just one more thing you don't really need.
Anyway, it's sorted.
And I'm probably particularly feeling grumpy because of the hormones. I can tell that I'm definitely grumpy!
I have enough drugs to see me through so that was all good. I'll end up with one 225 dose of Gonal-F left in the pen but that means I completely saved money by buying the drugs externally. The only thing I had to get from the clinic was the Voltarol suppository, but they give me that for free, so not a problem. Only four more days of injections left! I'm actually pretty excited that this is almost over!
In other news mulling over in my head, over on the eggsurance forum there has been a woman posting about how she tried to use her frozen eggs. I'm not sure of all the details, but it seems like she had 9 frozen eggs in total, it resulted in two embryos, both of which she implanted, but both of which were miscarried recently. That was a bit depressing to hear. I know there are a lot of factors that go into all of this and you can't really compare yourself to one person on a forum, but I'm just conscious that I'm not going to end up with that much many more eggs than she had. I guess it's important to remember that none of this is any sort of guarantee.
It's not worth thinking about it too much. I feel bad for the woman. There are other options, and I hope she feels satisfied that she did what she could, but it's definitely a blow.
Anyway.
Unless something remarkable happens between now and retrieval, I'll next write to say how it all went. I have an acupuncture appointment on Saturday which I'm oddly looking forward to. You'd think I'd be fed up with needles by now!!
Showing posts with label side effects. Show all posts
Showing posts with label side effects. Show all posts
24 October 2013
21 October 2013
Cycle 3: Day 8
Had my scan this morning. Nothing eventful to report as it all seems to be very routine now. The doctor measured 5 follicles which are 'growing' and 3 that are 'just behind'. I've also now dropped from 300 Gonal-F to 225 and will stay on the lower dose.
I'll be honest. The numbers are slightly disappointing at this stage. As I got 6 eggs from my first cycle and 4 from my second, even though I've been on a higher dose of drugs, this cycle seems to be smack in the middle so far, and that's assuming I get an egg out of every follicle. I was definitely hoping for more. But we're still only about halfway.
That's the other thing- the doctor had said that due to the higher drug dose, the cycle might be shorter. But at the moment it looks like it's going to be just about the same amount of days. So I have another seven days to go give or take.
It is times like this where I do get a bit frustrated that I am not convinced that the UK clinics are using the best drugs or the best protocols or doing everything they can. On the eggsurance forum, most of the women are from the States and it's like we're doing completely different things. Part of me wonders if I wouldn't be getting more eggs on a different regime. But as per usual, this sort of thinking is vaguely pointless. I have to remember that my clinic has some of the highest pregnancy and live birth results in the UK and not because they're selective and turn anyone away. Newer stuff and more tests isn't necessarily better. But I am used to a system of having more information and more discussion. That doesn't mean it's actually more useful, it might just mean I feel differently about everything.
But I go back to this all being a stressful process (and 7 days of hormone injections later, it's not entirely surprising I'm starting to feel a bit anxious). There are so many unknowns about what I'm doing that it makes me desperate for some small inkling of certainty. And I'm just not going to get it. Who knows if these eggs will fertilize? Who knows if I will ever be in a position to fertilize them?! There's just a lot of questions that I can't answer at this stage.
Oh, and I should also say that since I have a dermoid cyst on my ovary, it's probably not at top form either. Every time I see the cyst on the scan it just annoys me. Who knows how it affects that side of my ovary on which it lives parasitically? So really, I'm not complaining. Or, I am complaining, but I'm more complaining about the unfairness of life, the fact that I find myself in this position at all, and that life hasn't turned out the way I thought it would.
As far as the cycle goes, really, everything is fine so far.
I'll be honest. The numbers are slightly disappointing at this stage. As I got 6 eggs from my first cycle and 4 from my second, even though I've been on a higher dose of drugs, this cycle seems to be smack in the middle so far, and that's assuming I get an egg out of every follicle. I was definitely hoping for more. But we're still only about halfway.
That's the other thing- the doctor had said that due to the higher drug dose, the cycle might be shorter. But at the moment it looks like it's going to be just about the same amount of days. So I have another seven days to go give or take.
It is times like this where I do get a bit frustrated that I am not convinced that the UK clinics are using the best drugs or the best protocols or doing everything they can. On the eggsurance forum, most of the women are from the States and it's like we're doing completely different things. Part of me wonders if I wouldn't be getting more eggs on a different regime. But as per usual, this sort of thinking is vaguely pointless. I have to remember that my clinic has some of the highest pregnancy and live birth results in the UK and not because they're selective and turn anyone away. Newer stuff and more tests isn't necessarily better. But I am used to a system of having more information and more discussion. That doesn't mean it's actually more useful, it might just mean I feel differently about everything.
But I go back to this all being a stressful process (and 7 days of hormone injections later, it's not entirely surprising I'm starting to feel a bit anxious). There are so many unknowns about what I'm doing that it makes me desperate for some small inkling of certainty. And I'm just not going to get it. Who knows if these eggs will fertilize? Who knows if I will ever be in a position to fertilize them?! There's just a lot of questions that I can't answer at this stage.
Oh, and I should also say that since I have a dermoid cyst on my ovary, it's probably not at top form either. Every time I see the cyst on the scan it just annoys me. Who knows how it affects that side of my ovary on which it lives parasitically? So really, I'm not complaining. Or, I am complaining, but I'm more complaining about the unfairness of life, the fact that I find myself in this position at all, and that life hasn't turned out the way I thought it would.
As far as the cycle goes, really, everything is fine so far.
28 February 2013
48 Hours Later
I'm finally starting to feel a little bit more normal.
When I wrote my last post, I was at home relaxing after the procedure. I did manage to go up to Cambridge that night and I did note that the more I moved around the more "crampy" and "achy" my abdominal area seemed to be. And it wasn't only concentrated on my left side where my ovary is.
I took some paracetamol as I was told I could and slept okay when I finally got home, although I woke up with more abdominal discomfort and a bit of bloating. When I got up to go to the bathroom, I had a lot of gas but not much productivity. This reminded me that when I had the surgery to have my ovary removed, they told me that abdominal intrusion can make the digestive track seize up. In fact, they wouldn't let me leave the hospital until I'd pooped back then. So I started to wonder if something similar wasn't going on.
Yesterday I had a course to go on so I did that and continued to have the occasional over the counter painkiller. Uncomfortable, but not really worse than bad period pains. I was noting that it seemed more 'abdominal' than 'right side' and although I was drinking a lot, and peeing a lot, no other action was going on.
As I didn't bring my bicycle up (like I usually do) I decided to walk home last night which is a little over a mile. It wasn't the most comfortable walk, but I took it slow and steady. I felt that getting some light physical activity in might help my system get moving. Got home, lots of air, no action.
This morning however, my abdominal area feels much better. I got up and had results in the bathroom. I have no idea of I'm making connections that aren't there, but I do know I feel much more comfortable and generally better. Still a bit of bloating and now any aches are pretty much identifiable as on my left side where the ovary is still enlarged.
Also, I've noticed that I think I bit my tongue under sedation and maybe it pressed on my jaw a bit funny if they gave me an oxygen mask as both sides of my jaw, close to my ears is sore to the touch. First I thought it was a pimple, but then I noticed it was on both sides and think it was something else. The tongue thing is annoying, but it will sort itself out.
So I guess I just wait for my period and finally my body can return to normal for a bit, before I go for it again in June.
I feel less disappointed by my six eggs. And I'm really pleased that they are there waiting for me in the freezer. It does make me determined to do at least one more cycle, but I am glad that I have done this. My chances at future pregnancy only diminish from here on out, so those six eggs, and whatever I get in June are a great investment.
When I get back to London I will try to do a break-down post about my costs, as I think it's something useful there should be more information about. I should also have my formal letter from the clinic regarding the extraction, so I will post if there is anything interesting from that. I may also, in the interim, post some thoughts on future parenthood. But in general, I suspect this blog will go a bit quiet until my next cycle starts up.
I'm glad that my story has helped some people. Any questions, please email or leave a comment. And if you are starting your own journey and begin a blog, please send me the link and I will add it to the blog roll on the right.
When I wrote my last post, I was at home relaxing after the procedure. I did manage to go up to Cambridge that night and I did note that the more I moved around the more "crampy" and "achy" my abdominal area seemed to be. And it wasn't only concentrated on my left side where my ovary is.
I took some paracetamol as I was told I could and slept okay when I finally got home, although I woke up with more abdominal discomfort and a bit of bloating. When I got up to go to the bathroom, I had a lot of gas but not much productivity. This reminded me that when I had the surgery to have my ovary removed, they told me that abdominal intrusion can make the digestive track seize up. In fact, they wouldn't let me leave the hospital until I'd pooped back then. So I started to wonder if something similar wasn't going on.
Yesterday I had a course to go on so I did that and continued to have the occasional over the counter painkiller. Uncomfortable, but not really worse than bad period pains. I was noting that it seemed more 'abdominal' than 'right side' and although I was drinking a lot, and peeing a lot, no other action was going on.
As I didn't bring my bicycle up (like I usually do) I decided to walk home last night which is a little over a mile. It wasn't the most comfortable walk, but I took it slow and steady. I felt that getting some light physical activity in might help my system get moving. Got home, lots of air, no action.
This morning however, my abdominal area feels much better. I got up and had results in the bathroom. I have no idea of I'm making connections that aren't there, but I do know I feel much more comfortable and generally better. Still a bit of bloating and now any aches are pretty much identifiable as on my left side where the ovary is still enlarged.
Also, I've noticed that I think I bit my tongue under sedation and maybe it pressed on my jaw a bit funny if they gave me an oxygen mask as both sides of my jaw, close to my ears is sore to the touch. First I thought it was a pimple, but then I noticed it was on both sides and think it was something else. The tongue thing is annoying, but it will sort itself out.
So I guess I just wait for my period and finally my body can return to normal for a bit, before I go for it again in June.
I feel less disappointed by my six eggs. And I'm really pleased that they are there waiting for me in the freezer. It does make me determined to do at least one more cycle, but I am glad that I have done this. My chances at future pregnancy only diminish from here on out, so those six eggs, and whatever I get in June are a great investment.
When I get back to London I will try to do a break-down post about my costs, as I think it's something useful there should be more information about. I should also have my formal letter from the clinic regarding the extraction, so I will post if there is anything interesting from that. I may also, in the interim, post some thoughts on future parenthood. But in general, I suspect this blog will go a bit quiet until my next cycle starts up.
I'm glad that my story has helped some people. Any questions, please email or leave a comment. And if you are starting your own journey and begin a blog, please send me the link and I will add it to the blog roll on the right.
22 February 2013
Day 13 - Scan
The end is in sight!
Had my scan this morning. The doctor said that Tuesday would really be better for collection as the goal is to have as many good eggs as possible and I do have some follicles lagging behind. I'm sure that I could question him for his reasoning and thinking, but as my IVF experienced friend said, "What is he going to tell you really except that this is what he thinks they should do based on all the other patients they've seen and the results they've had with different protocols?". It's true really. Whatever they say to me isn't going to be the magic pill that "promises" the prize. Either you trust your doctor, and the clinic, or you don't. So lesson of the day- be very happy with your clinic and doctor because that's really all you've got.
At any rate, he counted 13 follicles and there may have been a couple others. They are getting big! He suggested that I should be looking at 5-10 eggs. Of course there is a massive difference between 5 and 10. And there is absolutely nothing I can do about it except wait and see. Obviously I hope for 10 and I will be disappointed with 5 but it will be what it will be and lets just hope that it's not any less than that which is of course, also entirely possible.
So I have my final drugs now, and I need to be back at the clinic at 8:30am on Tuesday morning for my procedure at 9am and I might be able to go home by 10 and hopefully by 11.
Tonight, I'm on the same drugs as usual- Gonal-F at 225 and Cetrotide. Then tomorrow I do them again but the Gonal-F reduces (I have it written down- I think it's one eight something or other). Sunday at 7pm I take the Cetrotide and then at 8pm I do the Ovitrelle which came pre-packaged and is currently in my fridge waiting for me. Monday- no shots! Hooray! Before I head to the clinic on Tuesday morning, I take a suppository. I think it's a painkiller. I'm not sure, I'll need to double check, and I will post more about all that later.
This has of course prompted me to consider does the procedure actually hurt? It may sound stupid but it hadn't actually particularly occurred to me. Then of course I made the mistake of looking at the internet which is full of both sides- people in pain and people feeling nothing. Well, there just isn't any way to know what it's going to be like until it happens. I'd say my tolerance for pain can be pretty high, but I do tend to flinch. Hopefully I get enough sedation to just knock my ass out.
I've arranged for my friend to come meet me at the clinic and go home with me. It's all heading to the finish line now!
I did say to the doctor today that my ovary feels uncomfortable, my digestive system seems to be a mess, and I've been feeling particularly grumpy. He said it's all normal. At least I can be objective at the moment. The hormones haven't gotten that bad yet!!
Had my scan this morning. The doctor said that Tuesday would really be better for collection as the goal is to have as many good eggs as possible and I do have some follicles lagging behind. I'm sure that I could question him for his reasoning and thinking, but as my IVF experienced friend said, "What is he going to tell you really except that this is what he thinks they should do based on all the other patients they've seen and the results they've had with different protocols?". It's true really. Whatever they say to me isn't going to be the magic pill that "promises" the prize. Either you trust your doctor, and the clinic, or you don't. So lesson of the day- be very happy with your clinic and doctor because that's really all you've got.
At any rate, he counted 13 follicles and there may have been a couple others. They are getting big! He suggested that I should be looking at 5-10 eggs. Of course there is a massive difference between 5 and 10. And there is absolutely nothing I can do about it except wait and see. Obviously I hope for 10 and I will be disappointed with 5 but it will be what it will be and lets just hope that it's not any less than that which is of course, also entirely possible.
So I have my final drugs now, and I need to be back at the clinic at 8:30am on Tuesday morning for my procedure at 9am and I might be able to go home by 10 and hopefully by 11.
Tonight, I'm on the same drugs as usual- Gonal-F at 225 and Cetrotide. Then tomorrow I do them again but the Gonal-F reduces (I have it written down- I think it's one eight something or other). Sunday at 7pm I take the Cetrotide and then at 8pm I do the Ovitrelle which came pre-packaged and is currently in my fridge waiting for me. Monday- no shots! Hooray! Before I head to the clinic on Tuesday morning, I take a suppository. I think it's a painkiller. I'm not sure, I'll need to double check, and I will post more about all that later.
This has of course prompted me to consider does the procedure actually hurt? It may sound stupid but it hadn't actually particularly occurred to me. Then of course I made the mistake of looking at the internet which is full of both sides- people in pain and people feeling nothing. Well, there just isn't any way to know what it's going to be like until it happens. I'd say my tolerance for pain can be pretty high, but I do tend to flinch. Hopefully I get enough sedation to just knock my ass out.
I've arranged for my friend to come meet me at the clinic and go home with me. It's all heading to the finish line now!
I did say to the doctor today that my ovary feels uncomfortable, my digestive system seems to be a mess, and I've been feeling particularly grumpy. He said it's all normal. At least I can be objective at the moment. The hormones haven't gotten that bad yet!!
21 February 2013
Day 12
Okay, I've taken to writing in the morning, not after my injections in the evening.
Last night's injections sucked. They all seemed to be painful and pokey. I say "they all" because although the Gonal-F is super easy and not a problem, I had to do the Cetrotide 3x before I got it right!! First I tried a spot that was just too pokey so I couldn't manage. Not sure I properly broke the skin but I think I must have been just on top of a nerve or something. So needle out. Pick another spot, still pokey but just want to get it done with, get it in and AGAIN I realize I've forgotten to get rid of the air bubble. Needle out. Third spot still a bit pokey. At this point I wonder if I've blunted the needle with too many tries, but I get it in and done with and then just generally felt uncomfortable and poked from the shots. And even though the Gonal-F is fine, I still picked a somewhat pokey spot. So a big blah to the injections last night.
In the meantime, this amused me for no particular reason. And as my cleaner comes today, it will all be gone shortly. I wonder what she's going to think of my rather full bedroom garbage....
Looking forward to my scan in the morning. I am hoping with all my might that they think Monday is perfect for collection. Although I did ask the doctor I saw on Wednesday if I have the collection Monday morning did she think I could be traveling Monday night and she pretty much looked at me like I was crazy. And said I should definitely not be riding a bicycle for a couple of days. I think I'm someone who always thinks I can do things before realizing I can't. So in my head these were completely sensible questions. And to be honest, I'm going to see how I feel and if I think I can travel the evening of the collection, and if I think I can ride my bike, I'm going to do it. I just can't keep putting off my normal life for so long. Although I could skip the bike- it would mean a lot more walking and possibly taking taxis which is not ideal, but also not impossible. Anyway, we'll see how I feel.
I've decided that I'm getting grumpy. And this could be a side effect from the drugs. It could also be a side effect from undertaking a somewhat stressful procedure. But I feel particularly grumpy and irritable which is how I tend to feel when I have periods. So yeah, maybe this is a mild side effect.
Last night's injections sucked. They all seemed to be painful and pokey. I say "they all" because although the Gonal-F is super easy and not a problem, I had to do the Cetrotide 3x before I got it right!! First I tried a spot that was just too pokey so I couldn't manage. Not sure I properly broke the skin but I think I must have been just on top of a nerve or something. So needle out. Pick another spot, still pokey but just want to get it done with, get it in and AGAIN I realize I've forgotten to get rid of the air bubble. Needle out. Third spot still a bit pokey. At this point I wonder if I've blunted the needle with too many tries, but I get it in and done with and then just generally felt uncomfortable and poked from the shots. And even though the Gonal-F is fine, I still picked a somewhat pokey spot. So a big blah to the injections last night.
In the meantime, this amused me for no particular reason. And as my cleaner comes today, it will all be gone shortly. I wonder what she's going to think of my rather full bedroom garbage....
Looking forward to my scan in the morning. I am hoping with all my might that they think Monday is perfect for collection. Although I did ask the doctor I saw on Wednesday if I have the collection Monday morning did she think I could be traveling Monday night and she pretty much looked at me like I was crazy. And said I should definitely not be riding a bicycle for a couple of days. I think I'm someone who always thinks I can do things before realizing I can't. So in my head these were completely sensible questions. And to be honest, I'm going to see how I feel and if I think I can travel the evening of the collection, and if I think I can ride my bike, I'm going to do it. I just can't keep putting off my normal life for so long. Although I could skip the bike- it would mean a lot more walking and possibly taking taxis which is not ideal, but also not impossible. Anyway, we'll see how I feel.
I've decided that I'm getting grumpy. And this could be a side effect from the drugs. It could also be a side effect from undertaking a somewhat stressful procedure. But I feel particularly grumpy and irritable which is how I tend to feel when I have periods. So yeah, maybe this is a mild side effect.
16 February 2013
Day 6 - Shots
Just a quick one on the shots last night. Again I was a little bit late so I just wanted to get home and get it done. I was still just trying to get my mind in the right place after the panic. I am also going to guess that my reaction to the cyst was maybe due to all these hormones I'm taking? At any rate, I just thought I'd have a nice calm night of doing my injections and going to bed.
So first I finished off that 900 Gonal-F pen which kept sticking at 25. I was careful to ensure it pressed the entire way down for the last dose and did not get stuck on 25 so that was good. Then I went to mix up the Cetrotide. Did all the steps, ready to go, get the needle in (and it was a bit pokey in the place I selected), I look down and realize I didn't expel the air bubble! Ugh!
So I had to withdraw the needle which now had a bit of blood on it and blood welling up (because I picked a pokey spot). I slowly expelled the air bubble which also meant a little bit of blood that was in the needle tip came out. I wiped it with the alcohol wipe and let it dry and didn't let it touch anything else and when the air was gone I picked a new spot and did the injection.
You think you're just getting to be good at all this stuff and then oops! At least I caught it.
I'm starting to feel a bit of "tightness" in my right side (where the ovary is). It's not pain or even twinges, but more like a small fullness. It's interesting of course because I can compare the two sides as one has no ovary and I can tell a difference. Or maybe I'm just getting a little bloated. To be fair, none of it is particularly bothersome. And other than yesterdays breakdown in tears, I can't say I've noticed any side effects in particular. Although I still have five or six days to go... I tell you what. I'm already looking forward to my "down time" between cycles. The one thing I am starting to feel is just a bit stressed again. I just want to get to the end and know how it's going to go (and really know if this was all worth it)!!
So first I finished off that 900 Gonal-F pen which kept sticking at 25. I was careful to ensure it pressed the entire way down for the last dose and did not get stuck on 25 so that was good. Then I went to mix up the Cetrotide. Did all the steps, ready to go, get the needle in (and it was a bit pokey in the place I selected), I look down and realize I didn't expel the air bubble! Ugh!
So I had to withdraw the needle which now had a bit of blood on it and blood welling up (because I picked a pokey spot). I slowly expelled the air bubble which also meant a little bit of blood that was in the needle tip came out. I wiped it with the alcohol wipe and let it dry and didn't let it touch anything else and when the air was gone I picked a new spot and did the injection.
You think you're just getting to be good at all this stuff and then oops! At least I caught it.
I'm starting to feel a bit of "tightness" in my right side (where the ovary is). It's not pain or even twinges, but more like a small fullness. It's interesting of course because I can compare the two sides as one has no ovary and I can tell a difference. Or maybe I'm just getting a little bloated. To be fair, none of it is particularly bothersome. And other than yesterdays breakdown in tears, I can't say I've noticed any side effects in particular. Although I still have five or six days to go... I tell you what. I'm already looking forward to my "down time" between cycles. The one thing I am starting to feel is just a bit stressed again. I just want to get to the end and know how it's going to go (and really know if this was all worth it)!!
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