Back from the doctor, had a good chat with him about the whole cyst thing. He showed me how a (my) dermoid cyst looks a lot like the bowel. Because my dermoid cyst is very small, it can be difficult to spot. It is able to seen now because the ovary is enlarged. It "moves" with the ovary. But, when the ovary is smaller it can be hard to see from the surrounding gut. He reiterated that it's very small and nothing to be concerned about. So I feel much better about all of that.
On to more exciting news! Follicles! Now I see from reading other blogs that people get measurements on their follicles and I don't know what mine are. So I can't say if I have good size ones or not. I know they are growing though, because the doctor says so! However, they are growing slowly. So instead of collection being Thursday or Friday this week, I may be looking at Monday. Which frankly, sort of sucks. But I'm going in for another scan on Wednesday and then again on Friday. So this is going to be a very busy week for my vagina. :)
I was careful to count the follicles he was measuring- so he measured 8 but he didn't measure a bunch that were on the other side. So I counted ten or eleven follicles. Obviously some are bigger than others. Anyway, from everything I can gather, this seems like a good foundation. So I'm excited. I just now wish the little eggs would mature faster!
Obviously I'll find out more on Wednesday. Unfortunately I don't see my regular doctor but I'll see another doctor in the clinic. Although I'm not concerned about that. I'm scheduled to see my regular doctor again on Friday. I have this sneaking suspicion that perhaps they aren't open over the weekend? I hope that's not the case as it would upset me to think that my collection is predicated on what is best for the doctor's schedule and not what's best for my body when I'm paying a lot of money for this. But that's me making a gross assumption. I'll not worry about that until Wednesday, when I'll try to glean more.
Oh, also, this longer stimulation time is a little bit annoying on the budget. At this rate I'm going to be paying an extra 50-60% for the expensive drugs because I'm going more days than I thought. In the grand scheme of things, it's okay, but it's a little bit annoying and I wasn't necessarily prepared for that length of extension. I'm figuring it will be an extra £600 (~$900) per cycle. Across two cycles, it's something to think about. But hey-ho, in for a penny in for a pound!
Oh yeah, last thing- when I asked about the break between cycles the doctor said that after collection my period would hopefully come around the 11th of March. Then April, then May, and THEN I could consider the next cycle. So assuming everything goes as planned, my second cycle will be June. Which gives me a good amount of time to relax and have fun in between. Of course the doctor says to me "One step at a time!". But I am a busy person and I need to schedule!!
Tonight, the further adventures of the human pin-cushion. I'm still staying on Gonal-F at 225 with the Cetrotide.
18 February 2013
17 February 2013
Day 7 & 8
Missed a day of posting because yesterday was a horrible disaster. Nothing to do with the egg freezing mind you. More to do with a friend of mine getting attacked and mugged on my doorstep. This would have been bad enough, but it was followed by a car with shot people in it coming to find the police for help (who were obviously at my flat) and then a million police showing up to deal with that, while I was left to deal with my traumatized friend before the police got around to coming back to her.
On top of which, this incident has pushed my flatmate over the edge. She just got home having left the house in a panic yesterday night after the excitement. I'm fully expecting her to give me notice that she's moving out, but as it is, she clearly isn't talking to me. Charming.
So yeah... injections.
Last night they were about an hour late. Tonight I got them done on time. I'm looking forward to my scan tomorrow. My right side is definitely feeling tight and bloated. I'm finding it hard to regain my 'happy place' of thoughts with all of this bloody drama going on. I mean you have got to be kidding me!! But I'm not freaking out, so that's good. Definitely looking forward to the scan and talking to the doctor tomorrow. It's not until the afternoon, but that's okay.
I hope for some good follicle news and a better idea of collection day so I can arrange for my friend to come with me. Getting close now!!
If only there wasn't all this outside stress now to also contend with.... I'm not sure how much positive vibes and calmness help with follicles and eggs or how much stress and agitation may hurt follicles and eggs. All I know is- it is on it's own a somewhat stressful thing to undertake. It's a shame that my life at the moment is adding to it in a negative way!
Tomorrow is another day.
On top of which, this incident has pushed my flatmate over the edge. She just got home having left the house in a panic yesterday night after the excitement. I'm fully expecting her to give me notice that she's moving out, but as it is, she clearly isn't talking to me. Charming.
So yeah... injections.
Last night they were about an hour late. Tonight I got them done on time. I'm looking forward to my scan tomorrow. My right side is definitely feeling tight and bloated. I'm finding it hard to regain my 'happy place' of thoughts with all of this bloody drama going on. I mean you have got to be kidding me!! But I'm not freaking out, so that's good. Definitely looking forward to the scan and talking to the doctor tomorrow. It's not until the afternoon, but that's okay.
I hope for some good follicle news and a better idea of collection day so I can arrange for my friend to come with me. Getting close now!!
If only there wasn't all this outside stress now to also contend with.... I'm not sure how much positive vibes and calmness help with follicles and eggs or how much stress and agitation may hurt follicles and eggs. All I know is- it is on it's own a somewhat stressful thing to undertake. It's a shame that my life at the moment is adding to it in a negative way!
Tomorrow is another day.
16 February 2013
Day 6 - Shots
Just a quick one on the shots last night. Again I was a little bit late so I just wanted to get home and get it done. I was still just trying to get my mind in the right place after the panic. I am also going to guess that my reaction to the cyst was maybe due to all these hormones I'm taking? At any rate, I just thought I'd have a nice calm night of doing my injections and going to bed.
So first I finished off that 900 Gonal-F pen which kept sticking at 25. I was careful to ensure it pressed the entire way down for the last dose and did not get stuck on 25 so that was good. Then I went to mix up the Cetrotide. Did all the steps, ready to go, get the needle in (and it was a bit pokey in the place I selected), I look down and realize I didn't expel the air bubble! Ugh!
So I had to withdraw the needle which now had a bit of blood on it and blood welling up (because I picked a pokey spot). I slowly expelled the air bubble which also meant a little bit of blood that was in the needle tip came out. I wiped it with the alcohol wipe and let it dry and didn't let it touch anything else and when the air was gone I picked a new spot and did the injection.
You think you're just getting to be good at all this stuff and then oops! At least I caught it.
I'm starting to feel a bit of "tightness" in my right side (where the ovary is). It's not pain or even twinges, but more like a small fullness. It's interesting of course because I can compare the two sides as one has no ovary and I can tell a difference. Or maybe I'm just getting a little bloated. To be fair, none of it is particularly bothersome. And other than yesterdays breakdown in tears, I can't say I've noticed any side effects in particular. Although I still have five or six days to go... I tell you what. I'm already looking forward to my "down time" between cycles. The one thing I am starting to feel is just a bit stressed again. I just want to get to the end and know how it's going to go (and really know if this was all worth it)!!
So first I finished off that 900 Gonal-F pen which kept sticking at 25. I was careful to ensure it pressed the entire way down for the last dose and did not get stuck on 25 so that was good. Then I went to mix up the Cetrotide. Did all the steps, ready to go, get the needle in (and it was a bit pokey in the place I selected), I look down and realize I didn't expel the air bubble! Ugh!
So I had to withdraw the needle which now had a bit of blood on it and blood welling up (because I picked a pokey spot). I slowly expelled the air bubble which also meant a little bit of blood that was in the needle tip came out. I wiped it with the alcohol wipe and let it dry and didn't let it touch anything else and when the air was gone I picked a new spot and did the injection.
You think you're just getting to be good at all this stuff and then oops! At least I caught it.
I'm starting to feel a bit of "tightness" in my right side (where the ovary is). It's not pain or even twinges, but more like a small fullness. It's interesting of course because I can compare the two sides as one has no ovary and I can tell a difference. Or maybe I'm just getting a little bloated. To be fair, none of it is particularly bothersome. And other than yesterdays breakdown in tears, I can't say I've noticed any side effects in particular. Although I still have five or six days to go... I tell you what. I'm already looking forward to my "down time" between cycles. The one thing I am starting to feel is just a bit stressed again. I just want to get to the end and know how it's going to go (and really know if this was all worth it)!!
15 February 2013
14 February 2013
Day 5
I have two tiny circular bruises on me from the shots. The biggest and darkest is actually from my very first shot. They seem more likely to bruise if they well up with blood when the needle is removed. To be fair, I don't have that many dots on me having now given myself a total of 8 injections. Maybe half have been followed by a blood dot? Oh yeah, in other news I was talking to a friend who did many IVF cycles and she said that she had been told to stay within a two inch radius of the belly button and not to go out to the sides. Which could have explained why the shot I did further to the side hurt more. So sticking closer to the belly button it is!
I did the Gonal-F first again tonight. I was holding it in for the ten seconds and then I moved my thumb and saw it was stuck on 25 again! So I moved my hand and pushed the plunger more firmly and the last 'click' went and the rest of the drug went in. Now I know what happened yesterday. Which makes me feel better about doing the second injection of 25- it was the right thing to do. Today though, I got it all in, albeit after a bit of a pause.
Anyway, on to the Cetrotide. Today with pictures! So first, out of the box we have a sealed container, and an info booklet. Peeling off the top of the sealed container we have two alcohol wipes, two needles, a pre-filled syringe, and a vial of the Cetrotide in powder form. Let me preface this gallery by saying that if you are going to take Cetrotide, make sure you read and follow the instructions that come with it fully- this is an abbreviated version and is no substitute for correct medical advice.
Now they say that it dissolves instantly. But then it says if it doesn't all dissolve you can swirl it gently. They say not to shake it as that adds air bubbles. As you can see from the photo on the left, it really doesn't dissolve cleanly. It takes quite a bit of swirling and scraping at the bits stuck to the bottom with the needle. And some tapping on the side of the vial. It's really a matter of being patient. It does get there eventually, even if I did get a few air bubbles in it (as shown in image on the right) but some gentle tapping sorts those out.
The part that I didn't show is how you are supposed to turn the vial upside down, draw down the needle so it's just in, and then suck up all the liquid. This is not so easy. You don't want to withdraw the needle, and you want to get all the liquid, and not fill up the syringe with air. Again, I think it's more about patience. Taking your time, and if you get too much air, pushing that back so you have space to try to get the rest of the liquid. I managed to get pretty much all of it eventually, as well as a bunch of air. So then I swapped out the big nasty needle for the injection needle (as shown below) and slowly pressed the plunger until the tiniest bit of liquid was visible on the tip. Ready to inject, and so I did.
Next scan is early tomorrow morning. I need to get myself to bed to get up early to get across town to the clinic. I'll be getting more drugs tomorrow as I only have enough Gonal-F left for one more injection at 225 and 2 more Cetrotide boxes. I will definitely be asking about when possible collection day is going to be. Lets hope everything has been continuing in the right direction. I continue to oscillate between being hopeful and being terrified there won't be anything out of this. Useless, I know. And I try not to do it, but I don't see how it can possibly be completely avoided.
I did the Gonal-F first again tonight. I was holding it in for the ten seconds and then I moved my thumb and saw it was stuck on 25 again! So I moved my hand and pushed the plunger more firmly and the last 'click' went and the rest of the drug went in. Now I know what happened yesterday. Which makes me feel better about doing the second injection of 25- it was the right thing to do. Today though, I got it all in, albeit after a bit of a pause.
Anyway, on to the Cetrotide. Today with pictures! So first, out of the box we have a sealed container, and an info booklet. Peeling off the top of the sealed container we have two alcohol wipes, two needles, a pre-filled syringe, and a vial of the Cetrotide in powder form. Let me preface this gallery by saying that if you are going to take Cetrotide, make sure you read and follow the instructions that come with it fully- this is an abbreviated version and is no substitute for correct medical advice.
Right. The first thing you do is get the little vial of the powder, remove the blue cap, and wipe it down with one of the alcohol wipes. You can see when the blue cap is removed it exposes a rubber stopper end where you will insert the needle.
Next, you attach the big (yellow ended) needle to the syringe. On a hard surface, you insert the needle into the rubber stopper and then depress the plunger to add all the liquid in the pre-filled syringe into the vial.
Now they say that it dissolves instantly. But then it says if it doesn't all dissolve you can swirl it gently. They say not to shake it as that adds air bubbles. As you can see from the photo on the left, it really doesn't dissolve cleanly. It takes quite a bit of swirling and scraping at the bits stuck to the bottom with the needle. And some tapping on the side of the vial. It's really a matter of being patient. It does get there eventually, even if I did get a few air bubbles in it (as shown in image on the right) but some gentle tapping sorts those out.
The part that I didn't show is how you are supposed to turn the vial upside down, draw down the needle so it's just in, and then suck up all the liquid. This is not so easy. You don't want to withdraw the needle, and you want to get all the liquid, and not fill up the syringe with air. Again, I think it's more about patience. Taking your time, and if you get too much air, pushing that back so you have space to try to get the rest of the liquid. I managed to get pretty much all of it eventually, as well as a bunch of air. So then I swapped out the big nasty needle for the injection needle (as shown below) and slowly pressed the plunger until the tiniest bit of liquid was visible on the tip. Ready to inject, and so I did.
Next scan is early tomorrow morning. I need to get myself to bed to get up early to get across town to the clinic. I'll be getting more drugs tomorrow as I only have enough Gonal-F left for one more injection at 225 and 2 more Cetrotide boxes. I will definitely be asking about when possible collection day is going to be. Lets hope everything has been continuing in the right direction. I continue to oscillate between being hopeful and being terrified there won't be anything out of this. Useless, I know. And I try not to do it, but I don't see how it can possibly be completely avoided.
Day 4 - Scan Day
Today's entry is in two parts. First, the scan.
Today I had my first scan after 3 days of injections. I could see the screen as he looked at my ovary and measured the little follicles that were there. I counted about 7 or so. Two were clearly bigger, which I assume is a good thing. I will never get used to the UK doctor approach which is basically not very talkative. I prefer the continual information dump and running commentary approach. I suppose it's in part what I'm used to, but you know, I like to be included in my medical health discussion. Not that I have any complaints at all about the clinic- or the doctor for that matter. As when I ask him stuff, he is happy to answer and discuss with me. It's just that I need to ask, it doesn't happen automatically, and I find it a little bit weird.
So as I say, I saw him measuring all the little follicles. I sort of lost count, I swear he measured some of the same ones twice. But he was also very quick. It was definitely more than 5 although some were small. So he said I should stay on the same dose of the Gonal-F (225) and tonight I also add the Cetrotide. My next scan is Friday morning. He didn't see any cysts (which is good). He said it all looked like what he'd like to see so far (without being particularly descriptive about what it is he likes to see). He said that the trick is that they wouldn't want to overstimulate the ovary- you don't want 20 follicles on one ovary. But that a good response would hopefully see me get 10. If I actually got 10 eggs (and if those could all be frozen) that would be superb, because two cycles would give me the magic number of 20. I'm not sure I'll actually get 10 freezable eggs, but the closer I can get to that number the better.
It's kind of crazy to think I'm just back there in less than 2 days, but the more scans, the more information, the more care and looking at I'm getting, then the better as far as I can tell. So like I said, I'm very pleased with the clinic so far really. Oh, they said that my unused needles should all go in the sharps bin and that any unused medicine or medicine containers I can bring in and they can dispose of. So that was good to know. Although today they took the unused needles in the Gonal-F box, even though they say on their handout that they don't take unused needles not in a sharps bin. I don't think it was a big deal really.
I'm writing this in a cafe just now. I'll return to it later tonight when I discuss my shots. The regular Gonal-F and the new part of the regimen, mixing my own Cetrotide.
Okay, I wrote that part before and I'm picking up this post where I left off. My intention had been to take pictures and post about the mixing but I got home late so I just wanted to get the shots done to stay close to my schedule. I took the Gonal-F about 45 minutes after my 24 hour time and the Cetrotide about 15 minutes after that. All within reason to be fair, but I was just conscious about getting it done.
And what an annoyance last night was! First, I did the Gonal-F. I figured I had it down, I understood what I was doing, and it's easy. So I prep, I measure, I inject, I wait ten seconds, take the pen out.... and it says 25 left in the black window. Crap! If it has a number left it means you didn't take the full injection. But I did depress the plunger all the way (or so I thought). So I was first annoyed, then worried, then I just decided to give myself the 25 with a new needle. So I did that and it definitely went to 0. But it was an extra little bit of bother when I was already just trying to get it done! Ugh! Also, two pin pricks. Double ugh!
Or, make that three pin pricks. Because I had to mix up the Cetrotide. This was more complicated than I thought it was going to be. I will take a picture of the box set up hopefully for day 5 and post more about the mixing. Needless to say, there were a number of steps, it didn't all dissolve straight away so I kept trying to mix it without shaking it (as that adds air bubbles). Getting it back into the syringe was also not 'obvious' and I got a bit of air in there and I'm not convinced I got 100% of the drug back in the needle (although I did get most of it) and then I had to do yet another injection although that went fine when I finally got to that point, I was just glad to get it done!
Now my next scan is first thing Friday morning. I look forward to getting more information on how this is all going. It would be good to have an idea of what day collection might be for- as I need to figure out who I know that can come with me. If it's Thursday or Friday I have someone but if it's Wednesday, I might be on my own. I think that's the only shitty thing about this whole exercise- is really being on your own. It's part of the reason I don't find as much help from the IVF blogs- they're all with partners, they have different objectives, it's really a different sort of procedure and expectation. Egg freezing is similar, but it's different. I wish more women were sharing their stories!!
Today I had my first scan after 3 days of injections. I could see the screen as he looked at my ovary and measured the little follicles that were there. I counted about 7 or so. Two were clearly bigger, which I assume is a good thing. I will never get used to the UK doctor approach which is basically not very talkative. I prefer the continual information dump and running commentary approach. I suppose it's in part what I'm used to, but you know, I like to be included in my medical health discussion. Not that I have any complaints at all about the clinic- or the doctor for that matter. As when I ask him stuff, he is happy to answer and discuss with me. It's just that I need to ask, it doesn't happen automatically, and I find it a little bit weird.
So as I say, I saw him measuring all the little follicles. I sort of lost count, I swear he measured some of the same ones twice. But he was also very quick. It was definitely more than 5 although some were small. So he said I should stay on the same dose of the Gonal-F (225) and tonight I also add the Cetrotide. My next scan is Friday morning. He didn't see any cysts (which is good). He said it all looked like what he'd like to see so far (without being particularly descriptive about what it is he likes to see). He said that the trick is that they wouldn't want to overstimulate the ovary- you don't want 20 follicles on one ovary. But that a good response would hopefully see me get 10. If I actually got 10 eggs (and if those could all be frozen) that would be superb, because two cycles would give me the magic number of 20. I'm not sure I'll actually get 10 freezable eggs, but the closer I can get to that number the better.
It's kind of crazy to think I'm just back there in less than 2 days, but the more scans, the more information, the more care and looking at I'm getting, then the better as far as I can tell. So like I said, I'm very pleased with the clinic so far really. Oh, they said that my unused needles should all go in the sharps bin and that any unused medicine or medicine containers I can bring in and they can dispose of. So that was good to know. Although today they took the unused needles in the Gonal-F box, even though they say on their handout that they don't take unused needles not in a sharps bin. I don't think it was a big deal really.
I'm writing this in a cafe just now. I'll return to it later tonight when I discuss my shots. The regular Gonal-F and the new part of the regimen, mixing my own Cetrotide.
Okay, I wrote that part before and I'm picking up this post where I left off. My intention had been to take pictures and post about the mixing but I got home late so I just wanted to get the shots done to stay close to my schedule. I took the Gonal-F about 45 minutes after my 24 hour time and the Cetrotide about 15 minutes after that. All within reason to be fair, but I was just conscious about getting it done.
And what an annoyance last night was! First, I did the Gonal-F. I figured I had it down, I understood what I was doing, and it's easy. So I prep, I measure, I inject, I wait ten seconds, take the pen out.... and it says 25 left in the black window. Crap! If it has a number left it means you didn't take the full injection. But I did depress the plunger all the way (or so I thought). So I was first annoyed, then worried, then I just decided to give myself the 25 with a new needle. So I did that and it definitely went to 0. But it was an extra little bit of bother when I was already just trying to get it done! Ugh! Also, two pin pricks. Double ugh!
Or, make that three pin pricks. Because I had to mix up the Cetrotide. This was more complicated than I thought it was going to be. I will take a picture of the box set up hopefully for day 5 and post more about the mixing. Needless to say, there were a number of steps, it didn't all dissolve straight away so I kept trying to mix it without shaking it (as that adds air bubbles). Getting it back into the syringe was also not 'obvious' and I got a bit of air in there and I'm not convinced I got 100% of the drug back in the needle (although I did get most of it) and then I had to do yet another injection although that went fine when I finally got to that point, I was just glad to get it done!
Now my next scan is first thing Friday morning. I look forward to getting more information on how this is all going. It would be good to have an idea of what day collection might be for- as I need to figure out who I know that can come with me. If it's Thursday or Friday I have someone but if it's Wednesday, I might be on my own. I think that's the only shitty thing about this whole exercise- is really being on your own. It's part of the reason I don't find as much help from the IVF blogs- they're all with partners, they have different objectives, it's really a different sort of procedure and expectation. Egg freezing is similar, but it's different. I wish more women were sharing their stories!!
12 February 2013
Day 3
Okay, that shot hurt more than the first two. I tried more to my side, and a little higher up than my belly bulge and I don't think I'll be doing that one again. I'm not sure- maybe I didn't go at a complete 90 degree angle? To be fair it's hard to tell. And it's not like it was "painful" just more painful than the first two. So tomorrow, it's back to the belly bulge.
Tonight I started my new 900 pen. It comes with a lot more needles (that I also won't use) as you can see here:
It's not clear where you are supposed to dispose of the extra needles- or the empty pen for that matter. I think I'll take it all back to the clinic. They must have medical disposal waste there. Or maybe it all goes in the sharps bin? I don't know. I'll find out tomorrow. So here is a view of the pen with the cap still on. The little black spot there shows the dosage. It's all very easy. Turn the red end until it reads the right number after attaching the needle and away you go!
If I hadn't been annoyed by the sting of the shot tonight I would have tried to take a photo but I was trying to work out if I had the angle all wrong so couldn't manage it. But hey, I have lots of time to mess around with cameras and stuff!
In other news... I can't tell how it's affecting my body. I have a cold so I feel crappy because I have a cold. I also have my period (though it's ending) so I feel sort of crappy because I have my period. And of course I'm taking the Gonal-F, which does have side effects but it's basically impossible right now for me to say if I feel crappy because of my period, because of a cold, or because of the drugs, or some combination of any of the above.
I do feel bloated. And I definitely brought the wrong pair of jeans up with me. Luckily, I go home tomorrow and I can change back to some comfy pants. I have my first scan tomorrow afternoon, so I can find out if the three days of drugs have actually done anything. And tomorrow night I also add the Cetrotide, so then I get to have two shots. And the Cetrotide requires some mixing, so I'll post more about that too.
Onwards and onwards! Grow little egglings, grow!
Tonight I started my new 900 pen. It comes with a lot more needles (that I also won't use) as you can see here:
It's not clear where you are supposed to dispose of the extra needles- or the empty pen for that matter. I think I'll take it all back to the clinic. They must have medical disposal waste there. Or maybe it all goes in the sharps bin? I don't know. I'll find out tomorrow. So here is a view of the pen with the cap still on. The little black spot there shows the dosage. It's all very easy. Turn the red end until it reads the right number after attaching the needle and away you go!
In other news... I can't tell how it's affecting my body. I have a cold so I feel crappy because I have a cold. I also have my period (though it's ending) so I feel sort of crappy because I have my period. And of course I'm taking the Gonal-F, which does have side effects but it's basically impossible right now for me to say if I feel crappy because of my period, because of a cold, or because of the drugs, or some combination of any of the above.
I do feel bloated. And I definitely brought the wrong pair of jeans up with me. Luckily, I go home tomorrow and I can change back to some comfy pants. I have my first scan tomorrow afternoon, so I can find out if the three days of drugs have actually done anything. And tomorrow night I also add the Cetrotide, so then I get to have two shots. And the Cetrotide requires some mixing, so I'll post more about that too.
Onwards and onwards! Grow little egglings, grow!
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